Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I lived in NYC (Brooklyn Heights) for almost a decade, in Boston for almost 2 years, and most of the rest of my life in northern NJ (with easy driving and train access directly to the City)...and now live in Chapel Hill. I believe that to make the best adjustment here, you need to be prepared to slow down. People talk slower, drive slower, take their time with each other and with doing things, talk more to each other (even in line at the supermarket or drug store), and so the pace is dramatically different. People almost never honk the horn or hurry anywhere. Driving distances are pretty large for most things, but I've gotten used to that (and was in the suburbs, not the city, before relocating), mostly because a lot of the driving is pleasant. There's much less traffic, the roads are great and pretty, and time goes by quickly on a trip of even 30 minutes once you get used to it (I didn't believe that part last year, but have found it to be true).
I think you'll find a relatively small but representative assortment of the things you say you like to do in NYC...but they will be scattered around, and there will never be all that many happening all at one time. The music scene is the best of the bunch, the theatre scene all right too, but the dining scene is not great compared to the North (we're still seeking really good pizza and Chinese food after a year), but it's otherwise OK.
People here are refreshingly open and friendly, at least in our one year's worth of experience. My daughter and I have had lots of invitations to people's homes for dinners and holiday gatherings (quite a bit more than in NJ, actually). Maybe it's because we're new and they're being especially welcoming--many of them were once transplants as well. But I've also made a point to accept every invitation, reciprocate when possible, and push myself to socialize with new people (even when I'm not in the mood or it's a somewhat anxiety provoking event). I know some 30-somethings who find activities they enjoy and then meet others doing those same things, though you might have to cast a larger geographic net and maybe even expand your interests. (I know a very happy group of people who've taken up contra dancing since they moved here and those folks seem to have loads of events and fun.) What I think you'll like here is the outdoor scene--you'll have much of the year to do all the things (and then some) you like to do outdoors up north. It's pretty here and kinda rural and spread out. I really appreciate the feeling of no longer being on top of people all the time...and imho, that by itself affects how people interact...a lot.
Despite intermittent pangs of homesickness for the long familiar life we lived in NY/NJ, we're pretty happy here. I'm a single mom in my 50's and don't feel I have much of a dating life here, but I didn't have all that much of one before, either. I guess that would require my being out/about even more, especially in the evenings, something I'll be able to do in a few more years when my daughter is older.
Best of luck with your decision and your move, if you make it.
Ex Manhattanite here. Well, American Dance Festival is here and is way fabo. Something like NYC. DPAC has some pretty terrific cultural stuff. Not much contemporary art (by my standards). But music venues are pretty darn good. Check out Cat's Cradle etc. Now that's more near Chapel Hill. All in all I like the trees and relative quiet. I prefer Durham as it is coming up fast. However, personal matter, splitting up with x of 30 years is driving me back to NY. Oh well. It's far better than FL.
Thank you for all the responses. I'm eager to hear more and from as many folks as possible.
I suppose one of my greatest concerns is one that was alluded to by one of the respondents: Here in NYC, there is a vibrant social scene for single people of all ages (and you're not just relegated to the bar scene in order to meet people). I'm just trying to figure out a bit more about what the outlets are for singles (in their 30s and older) to meet other interesting single people and socialize. My weeknights are spent doing things like afterwork dinners with colleagues, teaching adjunct for a university, going to sporting or cultural events (e.g., theater, films, opera or ballet), working out/kayaking/swimming/running, and getting drinks with friends. On weekends I'll typically do things like dinner parties with friends, errands (shopping, etc.), go to museums, or catch a film or lecture. I hope this helps shed some light on the type of person I am, my interests, and my level of activity (I'm definitely NOT a homebody) as a point of clarification.
As for the question about how long I've lived in NYC: I actually grew up here for the first 18 years of my life, left for college (upstate NY) and grad school (Chicago), and returned to NYC seven years later. In the time since, I have spent a year living in Portland, Oregon, which I found to be far too homogeneous (read: not racially diverse) for my liking. I've also spent time living abroad for shorter periods of time in both Central America and Europe. However, any time spent in the NYC has been spent living in New York and, more specifically, in Manhattan (though i should clarify that it has been in northern Manhattan, which is very different than midtown or the parts that people often think of or are associated with movies/TV).
No mass transit so you'll be doing a lot of driving. You could live in downtown Raleigh which if you try hard enough you could make it seem like a Mini-Manhattan. I drove a limo in NYC so driving thru Raleigh is nothing. Takes about as much time as driving across Central Park.
But much of the lifestyle you're used to in NYC can be found here, it just spread out all over the place.
My mother was born and raised in Washington Heights too - she lived on 174th Street and married my father at Incarnation Church. That was many years ago...when the neighborhood was predominantly Irish. Is your father Irish?
I'm a former Manhattanite (72nd between West End and Broadway) via Jersey Shore person. Trying to find ANY similarity to NYC vs RTP is impossible, imo.
I came down to RTP years ago to be by family who had migrated down and to raise my children in what I considered a better environment. I made a great choice. Even with family here and my children I had a relatively hard adjustment period (until a 3 generation born and raised Raleighite verbally smacked me into reality).
There is no way, NO WAY, I would have moved here if it hadn't been for my family being here and mostly to try and give my children a better life. And, there is no way I would have moved here under the circumstances you have mentioned.
Above said, I love it down here and the thought of going back north throws my anxiety off the charts.
Without family and especially my children, there was not a chance I would have made the change and I was very close to your age.
Again, I love it here but comparing NYC to RTP is like comparing apples to southern barbecue and moon pies.
As a fellow Long Islander (Hempstead), I would say that Raleigh is great if you have a family. Honestly most of the events around here are family oriented.
Of course only Miami and L.A. has as much to do as Manhattan (Let's be honest here). So "entertainment" on a NYC level is out of the question. But what is available is really cost effective.
The PNC Arena has a lot of events. My wife and I are planning on going to see Kevin Heart PNC Arena website , the Bobcasts game and Wringly Brothers next year when they arrive (why do they always come to every city in February).
Also, the local Flea Market (on the same grounds), has some good deals. Brian McKnight will be performing
next week at the State Fair (again, something the wife wanted to see) NC Fair grounds website
And the other family oriented events you can easily find on the other forums on this website.
The thing many former Yankee's forget is that when you move down south you are living a "slower" pave of life. In the North East people only care about making money and working because someone came take your job in 15 minutes. Down south it's not like that. You have to remember that you find your own entertainment, if you really want to be entertained. Many Manhattaner's are so used to EVERYTHING being laid out in front of them that they refuse to live anywhere but Manhattan and L.A. (I have some L.A. friends whom are the exact same way with saying how every city they visit or move to is so borning/slow when compared to L.A). Living in those two uber cities makes you spoiled. But when you decided to slow down and enjoy a cup of iced tea in your back yard, or taking your kids to Pullman park and enjoying watching them grow, you decide to silently make a decision to FIND your entertainment, not have it handed to you.
Other than the "entertainment" which is the only thing you'll be sacrafifcing southern living is not that bad.
Honestly most New Yorkers were too busy working to even enjoy all the entertainment options New York has.
I just moved to Raleigh 2 days ago from Bayonne, NJ - right across from Brooklyn and Staten Island, but I'm originally from NYC. I've visited Raleigh several times before moving and have always liked the slower pace and the not-so-slow southern living. My fiance and I have purchased a home here. Our "kids" are adults and living on their own in GA, MD and NJ, so for us, this is a great new centrally located start.
Maybe visiting Meetup.com and checking out the various groups online will help? I've seen lots of people looking to meet up for all types of activities including singles, the arts, happy hour, theater, crafts and everything in between. You're sure to find people to do things with and hopefully make new friends in the process.
Overall, you have to weigh the costs and benefits/ pros and cons, etc. I would highly recommend staying in the area for a couple weeks, to get a feel of the area. My husband, child and I relocate to Raleigh several years ago for his career. There are many people who love it here. While there are other NYC transplants who find much to aspire for this city. I will say that I've lived in other cities since leaving NYC (a military Veteran). It is true that I have never been homesick for NYC since leaving over 18 years ago, until moving to Raleigh.
Before anyone sends a go back to NYC comment, I am going back within the next 2 years, when our daughter finishes high school.
I miss the community feel/neighborhood feel. Overall, I am ready to return to my roots.
The original post is 2 1/2 years old....Hope things are going well for the Ex-NYer.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
