U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
 [Register]
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary The Triangle Area
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-22-2012, 07:19 PM
 
1,752 posts, read 3,258,041 times
Reputation: 1936

Advertisements

My husband always dithered about presents for his parents until the very last minute, so I started to get books on cd. They drove to florida from PA twice a year. I'd buy two or three murder mysteries. I have no idea if they really listened to them, but I could get them for $5 at a book warehouse sale so it didn't matter to me.

Husband would still get them something else but at least i could sleep easy during the month of december knowing it was off my conscience. Funny how husbands never seem to worry about what to get for THEIR in-laws!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-22-2012, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,092 posts, read 19,041,938 times
Reputation: 24212
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebrentwood View Post
And get cut out of the will!
Is THAT the reason to give Christmas gifts? Geez...

Maybe donating to a worthy charity is a "cop out" as you stated, but at least it benefits those in need rather than those looking to benefit from an inheritance.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2012, 09:04 PM
 
6,196 posts, read 14,242,827 times
Reputation: 4483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
Is THAT the reason to give Christmas gifts? Geez...

Maybe donating to a worthy charity is a "cop out" as you stated, but at least it benefits those in need rather than those looking to benefit from an inheritance.
Smiley face indicates joke in this instance.

I see no reason to make an older woman unhappy by not finding something and wrapping it up and giving it to her for Christmas instead of trying to teach her a lesson by giving a gift to a charity in her name -- essentially giving away her gift to someone else.

The finicky woman wants to open a present on Christmas from her loved one. Is that too much to ask? Maybe she'd like a nice scarf.

I'm not saying people shouldn't donate to charity. She should do it, the giver should do it. Everyone should do it. But do it for someone else in LIEU of a gift? Nahh. Given that she's already said she wants to continue exchanging gifts, that's just passive aggression on the giver's part. Bah humbug.

On the other side of this coin is that some people sincerely take great joy in selecting gifts for others. Allow her this joy.

Honor your elders. They'll be gone sooner than you think. In the great scheme of things, it's really a small thing to indulge them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2012, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,092 posts, read 19,041,938 times
Reputation: 24212
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebrentwood View Post
Smiley face indicates joke in this instance.

I see no reason to make an older woman unhappy by not finding something and wrapping it up and giving it to her for Christmas instead of trying to teach her a lesson by giving a gift to a charity in her name -- essentially giving away her gift to someone else.

The finicky woman wants to open a present on Christmas from her loved one. Is that too much to ask? Maybe she'd like a nice scarf.

I'm not saying people shouldn't donate to charity. She should do it, the giver should do it. Everyone should do it. But do it for someone else in LIEU of a gift? Nahh. Given that she's already said she wants to continue exchanging gifts, that's,and thewhoke just passive aggression on the giver's part. Bah humbug.

On the other side of this coin is that some people sincerely take great joy in selecting gifts for others. Allow her this joy.

Honor your elders. They'll be gone sooner than you think. In the great scheme of things, it's really a small thing to indulge them.
Actually, I generally agree with you. Except for the fact that in this case, the OP does not enjoy shopping for the MIL, the MIL is evidently never pleased with the gifts she receives and the whole thing just causes annual stress and family drama.

Last edited by Jkgourmet; 12-23-2012 at 11:02 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2012, 10:16 AM
 
6,196 posts, read 14,242,827 times
Reputation: 4483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
Actually, I generally agree with you. Except for the fact that the OP does not enjoy shopping for the MIL, the MIL is evidently never pleased with the gifts she receives and the whole thing just causes annual stress and family drama.
She said she doesn't like gift certificates. She (or he) didn't say the MIL was never pleased with the gifts. That's another whole story.

The mother of a friend of mine would berate her adult children every Christmas morning for their poor choice in Christmas gifts for her -- and she received some great gifts. But in their mother's eyes, they were always lacking. Her mother had grown up during the Great Depression and had been extremely poor, so it never made sense to me that she criticized their gifts.

If I had given my mother a weed in a tin can (even when I was an adult), she would have cherished it and showered me with praise, e.g., "Did YOU do this? It's such a lovely shade of green! It will look great in front of the window! THANK YOU!!!!" She always appreciated whatever we did for her.

In later years, my friend learned her mother had Alzheimers. It made me wonder if her mother's finickiness wasn't a symptom of her "long goodbye."

So you never know what's going on. The best approach is to just be kind. The holiday season is short -- as are lifetimes. The cliche, "Don't sweat the small stuff" is good advice.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2012, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,092 posts, read 19,041,938 times
Reputation: 24212
Quite right, lovesbrentwood. Sadly, the OP is clearly unable to follow that golden rule "don't sweat the small stuff."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-23-2012, 11:09 AM
 
6,196 posts, read 14,242,827 times
Reputation: 4483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
Quite right, lovesbrentwood. Sadly, the OP is clearly unable to follow that golden rule "don't sweat the small stuff."
I wouldn't say that. He/she was simply looking for ideas, which is a good thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:



Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:51 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top