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Hi!
We are also looking at Chapel Hill, Raleigh/Durham area. However, we are 40-ish something Lesbian married couple with 13 year old son. We have lived in Santa Fe past 8 years. Need to go somewhere that fits our personalities a bit better. SF is a great town, just not for the middle class. I am a nurse she is a teacher. VERY expensive to live here and nothing for kids or "average" folks like us.
If you have any info or realtors/people would should speak to - greatly appreciate it if you would forward on.
I guess a question to the group regarding the area: Are there any areas (chapel hill, raleigh/durham) we should NOT look at or stay away from if all possible? I am guessing the rural outskirts of town, anything else? Please don't be shy to speak up
I'm sorry, but based on personal experience, I would not choose Durham if i were gay. yes, there are pockets of liberal attitudes, but I was beaten, assaulted when i came to the aid of a 14 year old lesbian CHILD, while a crowd of 50 people and about 30 kids stood around and just watched it all go down.....and they never stepped in to help her before I arrived, watching her get the crap beat out of her. She was down on the ground, being kicked in the head and it took me, an elderly woman to say No and break it up. I'm sorry, you may live in a more liberal neighborhood, but at some point you have to step out and shop, do business and do schools, pta and children learn what they live and LBGT friendly attitudes are not flourishing in Durham...it is not the place for acceptance of gay people. Carrboro ? YES. Chapel Hill ? YES. I live in southern Chatham county, on an acre of land, it is 5 miles south of Chapel Hill, I have a Chapel Hill address and zip code, but I do not have to pay Chapel Hill higher taxes....there are many many condo's, nice ones, at $200,000 scattered around the Chapel Hill area. There is a 2 bedroom town home (two units are attached to each other) right on my street for $125 K with a huge wooded lot, so you can find something closer to Chapel Hill within your price point, I am sure.
I'm sorry, but based on personal experience, I would not choose Durham if i were gay. yes, there are pockets of liberal attitudes, but I was beaten, assaulted when i came to the aid of a 14 year old lesbian CHILD, while a crowd of 50 people and about 30 kids stood around and just watched it all go down.....and they never stepped in to help her before I arrived, watching her get the crap beat out of her. She was down on the ground, being kicked in the head and it took me, an elderly woman to say No and break it up. I'm sorry, you may live in a more liberal neighborhood, but at some point you have to step out and shop, do business and do schools, pta and children learn what they live and LBGT friendly attitudes are not flourishing in Durham...it is not the place for acceptance of gay people. Carrboro ? YES. Chapel Hill ? YES. I live in southern Chatham county, on an acre of land, it is 5 miles south of Chapel Hill, I have a Chapel Hill address and zip code, but I do not have to pay Chapel Hill higher taxes....there are many many condo's, nice ones, at $200,000 scattered around the Chapel Hill area. There is a 2 bedroom town home (two units are attached to each other) right on my street for $125 K with a huge wooded lot, so you can find something closer to Chapel Hill within your price point, I am sure.
When Amendment One was on the ballot, 70% of people in Durham County voted against it. Out of the 100 NC counties, only Orange County had a higher percentage opposed to it.
In the midterm elections a couple of weeks ago, Durham County voted democrat at the highest rate of all 100 NC counties.
I'm not sure that "pockets of liberal attitudes" is an accurate characterization of Durham.
I live in southern Chatham county, on an acre of land, it is 5 miles south of Chapel Hill, I have a Chapel Hill address and zip code...
I believe you mean NORTHERN Chatham County if you live 5 miles south of Chapel Hill and have a Chapel Hill address. Chatham is a large county. Southern Chatham County would be down south of Pittsboro near Sanford, or south of Siler City. Chapel Hill is in Orange County, not Chatham.
That sounds like a horrible incident in Durham. I can only imagine. It sounds like something that should have been reported to the media as its very out of character for the LGBT-friendly Durham I know. I have many lesbian friends who love Durham and as chris said it's one of the most liberal and LGBT-friendly communities in NC. Durham hosts the NC Pride events as well as the hugely popular annual Gay and Lesbian Film Festival.
ETA: Here's a better map of Chatham. Southern Chatham would be Moncure, Goldston, Bennett, Bear Creek, Bonlee. All are well south of Pittsboro and more than 5 miles from Chapel Hill. http://www.chathamnc.org/Modules/Sho...documentid=189
snswatkins, I think a lesbian couple would be welcomed in any of the three points of the Triangle — Raleigh, Durham, or Chapel Hill and their suburbs. All of the areas have different vibes, though. You should come visit.
Chapel Hill Carrboro City Schools are generally regarded as one of if not the best school systems in the state. Wake County Public School System is huge and growing at a tremendous rate which puts some strain on it as far as new schools having to be built all the time and subsequent redistricting. There are some great schools there, too. Durham County Schools are more of a mixed bag with some very good schools and some not so great. You'd need to check to see what school any potential neighborhoods are zoned for. There are some great charter (free) schools in Durham, too.
Speaking as a gay man native to the area who's been in the Community for 30+ years, Durham has always been known as the "Lesbian" part of the LGBT equation, for the Triangle (Raleigh is more gay male--though of course there are MANY of both, as well as Bs and Ts, throughout the area). Look into some of the older neighborhoods such a Trinity Park, Old West Durham, etc.
Note that NC Pride has been held in Durham for more than the past decade. Durham county is the Bluest county in the state (though a lot of that is due to a substantial African-American population, not just "liberals", though there are plenty of them as well).
Any of the points of the Triangle would be fine for you with no worries. NC just legalized same-sex marriage (forced by a judge, true, but that's always how civil rights move forward, eh?)
As far as places to stay away from, you're likely to find Cary, Apex, North Raleigh or the other places being trumpeted on here for most transplants a little "Stepford"-y (though they would probably not be unwelcoming per se...just that the Santa Fe comment makes me think you'd be bored to death in a sprawling suburb, which this area has in abundance). Southeast Durham and Southeast Raleigh are somewhat "ghetto-y", but it's not like you wouldn't pick up on that as soon as you saw them.
Though I grew up in and live in Raleigh, I find Durham to be more "artsy" amd am always going over there for theatre and choral activities. I love a lot of the older Durham neighborhoods like I mention above, and Nonth Street is the Bohemian part of town (right near Duke Univ).
Chapel Hill and Carrboro are also very liberal, but expensive. Both have had gay mayors so no issue with homophobia, but they are pricey. Carrboro is definitely the more "crunchy" of the two, but the two towns blend right into each other and most couldn't draw the exact line of where one ends and the other begins.
I think anywhere in Durham, Raleigh, or Chapel hill that looked appealing to you on sight would be fine as far as the acceptance issue goes. Whether you want a suburban lifestyle is the real question, as so much of this area (but by no means all) is that.
Do you have any jobs lines up? You didn't say what kind of teacher she is, but NC is near rock bottom on its treatment of teachers in general; pay is in the bottom 5 or so states in the US, and other factors such as removing extra pay for a Masters, cutting longevity bonuses, large class sizes, etc have made a lot of teachers leave NC or leave the profession. OTOH, that means there will probably be jobs for her...
I would recommend Durham first. There are lots of GLBT Realtors in the area (not that you require one, of course), that you could surely find by googling etc (not allowed to recommend here).
One isolated incident is not indicative of the LGBT vibe here. There are gay-bashers in every city in the US, especially in middle schools. Again, I have lived here virtually my whole life and been involved with the Community since the early 80s.
I lived in Durham ten years ago as a single and now live here with my partner. Like any city there are bad areas. Like anywhere there are random disgusting violent acts. Durham has a very big LGBT community, but it's also one of the few places I've lived where I feel comfortable anywhere we go as a couple.
I was thinking more in terms what her own CHILDREN might face, as you say, children are much more prone to be cruel and insensitive, but also might mimic the status quo preached so vociferously by the so called "christian" moral majority here. I was attacked by children. I certainly did not want to paint a whole class of people or a whole city as bigoted, but it wasn't just the crowd, or the nasty comments from the ambulance drivers that showed up, or even the mocking, derisive tone of the cops who days later wanted me to know that the "dyke" i saved came back four hours later, wielding a knife and tried to kill one of those girls kicking her. If so many people, not just ordinary citizens but professionals, the police and ambulance drivers, who are paid well to protect and serve, have such awful attitudes, and knowing well quite a few gay men and one transgendered male and hearing their stories and experiences here in the south (virtually STILL, the ONLY friends I have here), it certainly sounded like the gay experience is not a happy one in Durham, but this is again only my personal opinion based on my experiences and people I have met here.
It sounds like a terrible situation ceiligrrl, but in my experience of living in the Triangle for 30+ years, Durham is a pretty welcoming place for LGBT folks, including kids. I know several kids from two mom families and it's no more of an issue with their peers than anything else is. Some kids are going to be mean and pick on other kids for any reason.
In my experience, Durham is very accepting of LGBT individuals. I say this as someone who grew up here and used to throw raves in gay nightclubs in Durham over 20 years ago.
Naturally, there will be isolated instances of bad behavior pretty much anywhere in the world.
I do not think that is the norm in any part of the Triangle. Particularly Durham.
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