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I don't think I can get myself to make the move by myself. I have not been single much and to make such a big move alone gives me anxiety. I am a RN so I can gain employment with an OR. I would like to have my kids be near both their parents without choosing. Ex lives in Lillington and I would like to be close but not too close. I just need to find the strength to make a plan. Any input on helping gain information to compile toward my pro vs cons list of making the leap. Also, I am gay, not sure the south is receptive to that any more than Kansas.
The gay issue is a non-issue, in my view, if you are living in the major cities - Raleigh, Durham, Charlotte, Asheville. Otherwise, I still don't think it's any worse than it would be in Kansas. That said, I'm straight, so maybe I'm naive.
I had to look Lillington up on google maps. Never heard of it, and it's pretty small. Within a one hour drive to most of the Triangle area. I'd call that "close but not too close".
As for the rest of your post, without any unkindness, please consider seeking a professional to help you with this decision and your anxiety. I don't think that a poll on an anonymous, public forum is the way to make a big decision like this, especially when it involves children.
If you do move, move to either Holly Springs, Apex, or Fuquay. I did my internship at a law firm in Lillington. It's a very small, rural, southern town in the middle of nowhere. As far as you being gay, it won't be an issue in HS, Apex, or Fuquay. I'm straight so I don't know if it would be an issue in Lillington. I can't answer that question.
Well, I don't think you want to live IN Lillington. It's a pretty small southern town, though somewhat of a bedroom community for Fort Bragg. Like the other posters said Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill (the three cities that are the points of the Triangle) are all LGBT-friendly. Other Triangle area towns like Apex, Cary, Clayton would also be close to Lillington w/o being right in Lillington. Carrboro is a little farther away, but is exceptionally gay friendly. I wouldn't recommend Fayetteville myself.
The Triangle cities and towns are all very LGBT friendly. Unfortunately North Carolina as a state is not exceptionally so, but while there has been an definite push against LGBT causes (NC holds the dubious distinction of being the state that most recently passed anti gay marriage legislation) there is now considerable push back against uber-conservative forces and I think that Ammendment One, the gay marriage ban, will fall, but unfortunately for now it's still in place.
Most folks who post on this forum comment on how friendly everyone is here, so if you're willing to put yourself out there I think you could definitely find your place here.
The Triangle has very good medical care. Duke and UNC both have top notch medical schools and hospitals. In Raleigh there are Wake Med, Duke Raleigh, and Rex (operated by UNC Healthcare). There are probably some other smaller hospitals I'm not thinking of, too.
Good luck in your decision! I know moving is always ranked up there with one of the most stressful life events so I think it's understandable that you'd be anxious and apprehensive especially if you don't know anyone in the area except your ex. We're friendly here, though, and most of us don't bite!
I give Lillington a THUMBS DOWN if you are looking for a gay-friendly town. I worked in Harnett County (Lillington is the County Seat) for 2 1/2 years. I live in Raleigh; the major cities are fine.
I am new to NC myself so I'm not sure which areas are more tolerant. I think it's irrelevant in the sense that you could move next door to a homophobic person and have life made miserable although the overall community is gay-friendly. It's similar to when some non-minority people say that all minorities lie and racism doesn't exist. People's impression of the world is largely made of up of their OWN experiences in the world and that colors their viewpoint of how it is for others.
With that said, I would start with the LGBT Center of Raleigh and reach out to others who understand what kinds of concerns you have and offer advice on the areas that will be safest for you. I'd like to think everyone should be able to live where they want and can afford without worrying about their personal safety, but that's not the world we live in at the moment.
As far as moving anxiety, rest assured that only the most diehard movers don't get anxious about moving. It's a long, often exhausting and stressful situation even when moving for "good" reasons (ie. job advancement, new marriage, etc.). I would give anything to have the magic nose like Samanta in "Bewitched" so I could have bounced from Chicago to NC without the actual 18 months of torture it actually took. ;-)
I hope you find what you're looking for and a good plan to reach your goals.
All the best.
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