Anyone want to suggest a job for spouse? aka "do we jump without looking before we move?" (Raleigh: sale, rental) - Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary - North Carolina (NC) -The Triangle Area - City-Data Forum

findingmesomeday · 12-27-2007, 01:00 PM

You regulars know we've been trying to get our rear ends out of MA for a while now and that a few opportunities have come close for us, but have not panned out. I have a company offer me employment there--or wherever we wind up. I work with this company now and they want to hire me away from my present company but do not want to risk their relationship with that company. But if I were to resign, or we were to relocate, well, they've offered to set me up working from home and paying me more money to boot. It's not what I'd make if I went back to the nutty field from whence I came, but it's more than I'm making now.

But what to do about the spouse? He was unemployed for a while, then started his own business which did ok, but never really took off. He went back to work full time about a year ago. He doesn't like his job but it's good enough for now. He's dying to get out of MA and says he'll commit hari-cari if he has to spend one more year here (we've been here 10 years). I'm not that desperate but I don't want to be a widow either!

So I"m actually considering mapping out the realities of doing something really stupid (??) and trying to either front the cost of the move and praying he'll find a job, or asking this company to put their money where their mouths are and either help out with relo costs or loan us the money to move, etc. I don't know. These are just thoughts that are running around in my head.

Do I encourage the spouse to get a job sweeping floors at McDonald's? (yeah, right). But maybe he'll take a temporary job, just to have something to do (not McD!) until the right thing comes along? Might be easier for him to find something once we're there. Then again, maybe not. That part's scary!

So if anyone knows of anyone wanting to hire a bright, very hard working guy with a finance and marketing background--even if the job isn't in marketing or finance---DM me! Or post here! I will forward on any and all leads!!!!!!

Thanks forum folk. You're the best!!

raccemup · 12-27-2007, 03:48 PM

If you can get that job lined up, I say go for it! He can get a temp job in finance very easily here until he gets something permanent. If ONE of you has a job and can float you for a little while, then your risk is lower. The odds of you BOTH finding jobs before you relocate are slim. Most companies want candidates already living here and will trash resumes from out of state. They don't want to pay for relo expenses and there's a very educated, and talented pool of workers already right here in the Triangle. A temp job could be a good way to get his foot in the door of a company and finance is a good field here with opportunities. It's a catch 22 because it's scary to move without a job but easier to get a job once here. He may get something fast or not for a while and no one will know until you try. Smart, hardworking people will always find a way to succeed. Whatever you decide, good luck!

Crazy Christine
(who moved here with no jobs and got really lucky)

Funky Chicken · 12-27-2007, 04:16 PM

Sometimes flying without a net can motivate you to make things work out. I'm a bit of a risk taker, and I remember all too well what it felt like to want out of the Northeast. Life is short-go for it.

saturnfan · 12-27-2007, 05:26 PM

Try the NC Office of State Personnel site once you get here.

findingmesomeday · 12-27-2007, 06:23 PM

Wow, thanks for all the answers and DMs! I really appreciate it. Any more thoughts, please keep them coming!

I'm off work this week but when I go back, I'm going to sit down and see if I can get some more exact facts/figures out of the company that wants to hire me and then see if we want to take this risk. I'm more of a risk taker than my husband. And he's had some failures in the past 4-5 years (large layoff, failed business) that make him even more gun-shy. Our finances took a hit and he feels so guilty for that. I haven't yet approached him with the crazy idea as I want to get more of my ducks in a row first. But I think many have a good point re: it's easier to find a job once you're there.

lauren4521 · 12-29-2007, 07:31 AM

I also believe that you have to take some leaps of faith in life BUT with that said, we are a 1 salary family with 2 kids and bills, etc...so we got my dh a job before we moved (I'm a SAHM).

It definately was hard finding a job from out of state, aside from what someone said about companies not wanting to front relocation expenses, many we've spoken to have been burned by relocaters (who took the job and ended up not moving). Anyhow, it CAN happen...my dh was hired over the phone sight unseen (that was scary...I kept thinking it was a scam or something but it worked out).

Anyhow, if you have one job in the bag and so want to get here, I would go for it. There is so much that your dh can do in the meantime. Retail always has something to offer. There's also a valid telecommuting market.

I know what it feels like to be chomping at the bit to get here (from NJ). If dh can start his job hunting in NC NOW, he might get lucky like we did. I did my dh's online job hunt and sent resumes with a VERY concise cover letter about our situation. We were living in a temp apt (a NJ shore rental over the winter) and had a limited time to find a job in NC and move) so moving wasn't in question...just when.

Good luck to you...relocating isn't a breeze but its so worth it!
Lauren

Gin · 12-29-2007, 08:06 AM

I agree with other posts that employers are not likely to hire someone until they are on the ground here. However, what might help is to do some really good investigating of potential jobs. CraigsList Raleigh is particularly good, as well as the standards: NY Times, local papers (The Herald-Sun and News-Observer and Chapel Hill News). He could even call / email some of the potential employers and just feel out what his prospects might be once here.
He could also take the time to spruce up his resume (which, ironically, can be a real confidence-booster since you have to concentrate on successess and skills).
If your prospective employer will pick up some of the moving costs, all the better. If you can plan your budget to live on one income for the first 6 months-1 year, then you'll feel more confident yourself.
Not one to give personal advice, but sooner is better to get buy-in from your spouse. Moving is stressful; you want to partner in that.
Good luck! I lived in NY for 30 years before 2 years on the Gulf Coast for family reasons; when it was time to move on, there was NO WAY I was going back to the NE. This is a really easy area - active, stimulating and so much less expensive than the NE.
Gin

NCMommy2-4 · 12-29-2007, 09:12 AM

We came w/out work and my dh found a job within 2 months of moving. Can't say we didn't panic but we did have the cushion from house money sale from NJ. My dh doesn't have a degree but had experience and that got him the job in the $50k yr range w/benefits. We did apply our hineys off though. It was constant flow of resume sending and we had a lot of interviews for him... just one offer though.

NcMommy

kanatastar · 12-29-2007, 09:58 AM

I would say pack your bags and go!! If you can land that other job, and you think that you can carry the weight (financial) of your family, I don't know if there are kids involved, then I say do it! There are tons of opportunities here for your husband! It will be so much easier to find him a job after you move.

We had talked about moving here for a couple months prior to actually moving down here. We were basically in the same place that you are in now, except my partner was the one that was going to have a job here, and I really wanted to get the heck out of MA. I worked my behind off and saved enough money to be able to live comfortably for about 6 months before we left so that once her job was in place, I would be able to take my time in finding something here (I ended up going back to school, finishing my degree, and am now working in the IT field). I am a firm believer that some of the greatest things come from taking risks...

Good luck to you!

findingmesomeday · 12-29-2007, 12:10 PM

Thanks again! The job that's being offered to me is from a company based here (as I mentioned). We haven't talked definite dollars but they said they would definitely offer me more than I'm making now. I'm not working in my specialized field, so I won't make the kind of money that I would in that field---but that's ok--I won't be working the hours or traveling the miles,either.

Hubby is the problerm. Even though he's really the driving force for us to leave here (he complains CONSTANTLY about MA--the weather, the people, the poltics, the job, yadda, yadda, yadda), I can't seem to convince him that maybe moving with one job in the bag and him grabbing SOMETHING, until he finds a job for which he thinks he is qualified, will ultimately be a good thing. He wants "the big job" now. He hates where he works now because it's not "the big job" he had back in 2002. Hey, he lost that job and the economy tanked. He couldn't find another and then went into a completely different line of business for himself. He did ok for a few years but ultimately, that business didnt' do well. So I think he is doing VERY well to step back into the corporate world 5 years later making 85% of what he made! He doesn't see it that way. ::sigh::

His company does a lot of business in the southeast and it's even possible that he could convince them to have him telecommute, which wouuld at least give him an income until he found something else. He's in TN, VA and SC half the time anyway! But right now he's poo-pooing that idea.

(Can you tell I'm frustrated?) LOL