Wake County special needs education (homes, top schools, to live)

[Jeremy N.]

My daughter is almost 17 and is somewhere between a freshman and sophomore in the Wake County school system. She has struggled in school from day one. She has severe ADD and social anxiety issues. The medication helps a little but presents side affects that seem counter-productive. Because of our address she is assigned to a school that buses inner city kids into a rural area. I have mixed emotions on that subject but, that's not the issue I'm seeking help with, it is just a factor. On top of her issues, she is bullied every day and to this point, I have consistently tried to encourage her to go to school everyday, fearing she will be held back again or fall further behind due to poor attendance. She talks about quitting high school often and I have, again, maintained that she continue. To make matters worse, my wife has moved out of the home and the state, leaving this all to me. I have two teenage daughters, and a full time job. I need help and direction. I can't afford countless days pleading with the school board only to be shrugged off, told there is nothing they can do, and be sent up the chain to start my petition over and over. I would never forgive myself if she were to become so depressed that she would hurt herself or worse. As a father, of course I want her to have an education and a chance to succeed in life but, at what cost? I don't blame the teachers but, the fact is, my daughter is just a body in a seat surrounded by 25-28 other kids with learning and behavior issues and, the teachers are overwhelmed. The class is punished and awarded collectively or worse, ignored all together. My daughter has no chance to succeed in this environment. Every day she reports there is fighting and obnoxious behavior from the bus in the morning, throughout the day, and this is daily! It seems it is easier to ignore 25 unruly kids then find ways to alter their behavior. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do or where to begin. I don't want her to quit but, I can't, in good conscience, send her to this recurring nightmare every day where she is in mental, emotional and physical danger. If anyone has had or is having any success in finding help or programs that are affordable within this county, please help me help my daughter.

[janda001]

Jeremy all though I do not know your whole situation I do know that we as a family have many similar issues in dealing with not only WCPSS but Public School systems in whole from different states. I have a son who was originally diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety but it turns out to be truer that he actually upon further evaluation with Duke has Aspergers. We struggled with dealing with WCPSS until he was due to go into the 9th grade at Panther Creek. I was contently at the school 2-4 days a week while he was in Middle School and knew as a parent I did not want to continue down the same path especially since we knew High School was going to be even tougher. Last year we made the very hard decision to Home School him which in the end was also not the right solution. Although while home schooling him did allow him to reset in a way, we knew that for him he needed to be among his peers and to be around others. This year a brand new Charter school, Dynamic Community Charter school, opened its doors. This is a first of its kind in the state of NC and is for kids 6th-10th grade(11-12 to be added in the next two years) that is for kids that are exceptional. For kids that have Social Anxiety, Aspergers, severe head trauma and a wide scope of other issues. It is a school in which every teacher is Special Ed certified and caters to a smaller classroom. Each grade only has 15 students per grade. Sure this school is NOT for every child or even for every parent to want to send their children to, but it was for us and our son and it has been for the other 70 kids that attend DCCS. I truly do know that there is not a lot of help to be had for kids or parents in Wake County and that we are just expected to "deal" with what they have to offer or get lost if you will. I hope you find what it is you and your daughter both need.

[goodbyesnow]

I have to add that I read DCCS is NOT only for kids w/ issues. IT was designed to be accepting of students of all abilities. The problem is you have to apply to get in, but it sounds like a great place.

I would not send my child to the school environment you have described. As a former teacher, i have been in good schools and bad schools and have seen the attitude where we curb the behaviors and bring out the best in all to the opposite where people have given up and just let stuff happen. (this was not in NC ) I only taught in NC for one year and was disgusted with the special ed program in general. It is just a giant lawsuit waiting to happen. My son is in JoCo and sped is worse here!

Are you able to in any way get her into another school? I am guessing the application period is over, but if there are still schools with openings, maybe something can be done?

I know that while her education is invaluable, so is her mental health. It is pointless to send her to such an environment where she is miserable. My oldest was miserable in high school. She went to one of the top schools in our previous state and was lucky to get in, but she didnt fit the "mold" and was miserable. Her senior year we switched her to a school that was not a top rated school, and wasnt as academically challenging, but I made the decision based on her mental well-being over academics. She is now a happy, healthy adult and is grateful we took her out of the toxic environment.

I would do whatever I had to in order to get my child into another school where she is able to emotionally function. If you have to pull her and homeschool or online school her, it could be a lifesaver. (I do understand you work and are a single parent, so the time would be difficult)

[Francois]

I don't guess there is any chance of sending her to live with her mother if the school situation is better there?

[AutumnOrange3]

It sounds like you have got a lot on your plate and now you have to act as both dad and mom.

Does your daughter have an IEP? I would call a meeting ASAP and make sure the principal is present. Let them know the current learning environment is not acceptable nor is the bullying. Since she is 17 and nearly finished with high school, so aggravated and not even wanting to go to school, I think it would help her tons to be pulled out of that toxic environment especially because you think she might hurt herself. I'm sure if you decide to go the homeschooling/online schooling route, other parents on here would be able to give suggestions on how to get you started.

The problem with bullying doesn't seem to be slowing down in Johnston county either, nor is there a shortage of horribly mannered, misbehaving, disruptive, out of control teens.

From what I understand charter schools have long waiting lists, by the time she is called for it, she may be finished with school already.

[AutumnOrange3]

And please if need be do contact the board of ed and show them you mean business. I had to contact them when my daughter was in middle school in Wake County due to her moron of a PE teacher making her participate in PE when she had given him her Dr's note specifically excusing her. I got a phone call from the teacher and principal shortly afterwards.