Some Hard Truths for folks thinking of moving to Cary: (Raleigh: environment, relocating)

[dcgrl]

Originally Posted by theresak

Maybe they won't be permanently psychologically damaged because they had to go to a new school - but change them again and again and again and other issues will arise. Please think of this from the children's view and what is known about what children need (stability). When you're 6, 7, 8 years old and suddenly you're being told you're leaving all the friends and familiar school you know to move to a new school - that's a lot for a young person to take. Now do that again a year or two later - and then maybe a year or two later again. There is no stability. There is no consistency. There are no long term friends. There is no bonding with a school. These are all things children need. And there is consistency in education. As one poster mentioned, each school has their own traditions that the children rising through the school look forward too. Constant redistricting removes all this.

oh please. my dad was in the air force. My sisters and I moved schools every two years. I have no lasting scars, am a well-adjusted adult, did well in school and now have a fulfilling career.

Changing schools frequently taught me to be flexible, outgoing, friendly, open to change, etc. These are great qualities for a child to acquire. What I had was stability in my family and parents who encouraged me to embrace change and be open to new experiences.

[saturnfan]

Originally Posted by VickiR

People can be so funny sometimes. Think of this...people from other areas mention that their schools are so much better, yet, they are leaving those areas. Why are the schools better? TAXES ARE SO MUCH HIGHER IN THOSE AREAS. Then these same people come here and don't want a tax increase. They come here to pay less taxes and still want the benefit of more schools. Am I simplifying this or am I missing something?

The schools and the roads are having trouble keeping up with growth. Our taxes SHOULD be raised and yet the folks that complain most about the schools want the least amount of taxes.

Vicki

Vicki

Impact fees. Why put the cost on everyone.

[VickiR]

Originally Posted by dcgrl

oh please. my dad was in the air force. My sisters and I moved schools every two years. I have no lasting scars, am a well-adjusted adult, did well in school and now have a fulfilling career.

Changing schools frequently taught me to be flexible, outgoing, friendly, open to change, etc. These are great qualities for a child to acquire. What I had was stability in my family and parents who encouraged me to embrace change and be open to new experiences.

I agree that flexibility is something that should be taught to kids. My 14 year old was born into the house we currently live in. She is the youngest of 4 kids. When ever we discuss "downsizing", she gets upset. She has never had to switch schools and has grown up with all her same friends. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if we had moved more often so that she could learn to deal with some flexibility in her life! Maybe we could all use some flexibility!

Vicki

[PDXmom]

Originally Posted by dcgrl

oh please. my dad was in the air force. My sisters and I moved schools every two years. I have no lasting scars, am a well-adjusted adult, did well in school and now have a fulfilling career.

Changing schools frequently taught me to be flexible, outgoing, friendly, open to change, etc. These are great qualities for a child to acquire. What I had was stability in my family and parents who encouraged me to embrace change and be open to new experiences.

dcgirl, it's great that moving frequently benefited you. But every child is different. And by "oh please"ing the previous poster you are being disrepectful to his/her point of view. Every child is different and every child needs different things.

A few years back I read a parenting research article where the point was that children starting a very young age need to establish bonded relationships with parents and other trusted adults. The more trusted adults that children have through their school years then the less likily they are to do drugs and alcohol.

Our previous school in Portland was a small, neighborhood, city school. The Kindergarten Teacher had been there for 20 years. She still got kids who were in college coming back to visit her. But she told me the visits that meant the most to her was from the middle schoolers or high schoolers that were having a tough time with something and was just looking for a hug from their Kindergarten Teacher and someone to talk to. You loose this sort of environment when you bus kids all over the place.

Kids like you would be fine by being bused. But for that one that isn't, their could be huge societal costs.

[saturnfan]

Originally Posted by VickiR

I agree that flexibility is something that should be taught to kids. My 14 year old was born into the house we currently live in. She is the youngest of 4 kids. When ever we discuss "downsizing", she gets upset. She has never had to switch schools and has grown up with all her same friends. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if we had moved more often so that she could learn to deal with some flexibility in her life! Maybe we could all use some flexibility!

Vicki

I think we can, Vicki.

Our daughter was born in Los Angeles.

She started school Kg-5th grade in NYC. Sixth in NJ. Seventh - eighth in New Orleans. Ninth - college in Raleigh.

She's very flexible and adapts well to changes in her state agency job.

[lamishra]

Vicki, my DD was the same as yours. When we were in a situation where we HAD to move, she was upset at first but adapted well. She changed schools in 5th grade, 6th grade and 7th grade (our choice, not through redistricting) and it was a very good lesson in flexibility for her. She used to be a child who was steeped in routine and stability, with a great fear of that stability being shaken up.
As a result, she has emerged from her shell, learned how to adapt to new situations, learn to make new friends no matter where you are, boosted her self confidence, learned to make the best of situations she THOUGHT she couldn't handle, became a little less rigid and matured a great deal as a result. Overall, moving and changing schools lead to some very positive results for us.

[jfre81]

Originally Posted by toxmed

Chapel Hill/Carrboro has already ceded from Orange County and runs its own schools.

This is the way it should be. Cary should be making decisions for Cary schools, Garner schools should be making decisions for Garner schools and so on. I hope for the sake of people in Johnston County that Clayton does something like this before their kids start having to get bused to Benson...maybe it would start a trend.

[dcgrl]

Originally Posted by PDXmom

dcgirl, it's great that moving frequently benefited you. But every child is different. And by "oh please"ing the previous poster you are being disrepectful to his/her point of view. Every child is different and every child needs different things.

A few years back I read a parenting research article where the point was that children starting a very young age need to establish bonded relationships with parents and other trusted adults. The more trusted adults that children have through their school years then the less likily they are to do drugs and alcohol.

Our previous school in Portland was a small, neighborhood, city school. The Kindergarten Teacher had been there for 20 years. She still got kids who were in college coming back to visit her. But she told me the visits that meant the most to her was from the middle schoolers or high schoolers that were having a tough time with something and was just looking for a hug from their Kindergarten Teacher and someone to talk to. You loose this sort of environment when you bus kids all over the place.

Kids like you would be fine by being bused. But for that one that isn't, their could be huge societal costs.

sorry, PDXMom, and the pp. I guess my beef with the pp was just the insistence on what "kids" need, as if all kids need the same thing. I do think, however, that most kids are more flexible then we give them credit for (if they're given the opportunity), and can benefit from change if allowed to view it from an optimistic perspective.

[findingmesomeday]

Originally Posted by jfre81

This is the way it should be. Cary should be making decisions for Cary schools, Garner schools should be making decisions for Garner schools and so on. I hope for the sake of people in Johnston County that Clayton does something like this before their kids start having to get bused to Benson...maybe it would start a trend.

I agree that there's something to this. I've lived in places that have county wide schools that work (Fairfax County) and places where towns governed their own schools (suburbs of Seattle, suburbs of Boston). Even though I think FFX Cty did a great job, I think the locally governed school districts seemed to have more stability.

[VickiR]

Originally Posted by lamishra

Vicki, my DD was the same as yours. When we were in a situation where we HAD to move, she was upset at first but adapted well. She changed schools in 5th grade, 6th grade and 7th grade (our choice, not through redistricting) and it was a very good lesson in flexibility for her. She used to be a child who was steeped in routine and stability, with a great fear of that stability being shaken up.
As a result, she has emerged from her shell, learned how to adapt to new situations, learn to make new friends no matter where you are, boosted her self confidence, learned to make the best of situations she THOUGHT she couldn't handle, became a little less rigid and matured a great deal as a result. Overall, moving and changing schools lead to some very positive results for us.

Good to hear, lamishra. She has always been the type that doesn't like change. Although not many of us do! Even when she was small...we couldn't just spring bedtime upon her. We had to tell her "bedtime in 10 minutes" and then "bedtime in 5 minutes" and then "bedtime" and she was fine. But if it got late and we just said "bedtime", she didn't take it well! I hear that kids are resilent so I hope that she'll adjust when and if the time comes for any changes in her life. Other than that...she is well adjusted as any 14 year old girl!!!

Vicki