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I lived in Raleigh for undergrad, left for grad school and then moved back for first job. I left two years ago for Colorado. I was scrolling through the posts and thought I'd ad my two cents for those thinking about Raleigh.
I liked Raleigh much more in college as I was kind of in an incubator of sorts - very safe and protected from the "real word". When I lived there in the real world, I didn't like it as much. If you don't have kids and aren't in college, you feel kind of left out there. There is not much going on for young singles. My constant complaint to my husband was - I am so bored! Again, though I think that there are different opportunities available for college students and young families.
My biggest problem was that to get anywhere really strikingly beautiful you had to drive several hours - 3/4 hours to the mountains 2/3 hours to the beach. If you have dogs, I found NC to be a kind of un-dog friendly place. If you drive to Wilmington for the day, your dog can't be on the beach in the summer. There are a few off leash dog parks in Raleigh though. We are probably just spoiled in Colorado where there lots of off-leash dog trails.
Regarding jobs, I found the job market to be very good in Raleigh, especially for professionals. I don't know about other markets. I found the general environment to be pretty relaxed, but compared to the west (where I live now), I realize that it was pretty uptight. If you work in RTP, it will probably seemed like you just walked out of SV, but if you work in government, teaching, etc., the "southernness" will be there. Overall, though, I think Raleigh has lost much of its southern rootes - you see it "inside the beltline" and NC natives, but most folks are from somewhere else.
Weather - if you are from the northeast or other places, you might really like it. I now live in Colorado, and although I whine about the winters, I actually find that I enjoy the seasons and am so thankful for beautiful summers with low humidity. The humidity is a killer. I couldn't do it again.
Traffic - I have heard that commuting on I-40 is worse than ever and most of my SV friends are shocked that it looks like 101 in the morning. I lived in North Raleigh (Falls of Neuse) and commuted downtown on Atlantic, which wasn't so bad - about 30-40 minutes. I had friends that drove from Chapel Hill to Raleigh who were averaging 1 hour + in the morning - 30 miles.
Overall, I think Raleigh is a pretty good place to live, lots of trees, parks, and good economy, but there are growing pains. If you are moving from one of the coasts, it will be an adjustment if you are married to the cultural opportunities, etc.
I'm shocked that your SV friends are shocked that I-40 looks like 101 in the mornings. Because it doesn't. I drove the 101 in both NoCal and SoCal during rush hour, and I-40 pales in comparison to that mess.
I agree with a lot of what you said about the area, but less so as time moves on. There are fewer singles here, so it can take time to get plugged in to the Raleigh singles scene. However, once I made friends and got to meeting people, the quality of people out there was really good, IMO.
I continue to be amazed by the number of folks who perceive Raleigh (and the entire Triangle for that matter) as having no single life. I have been single for my entire adult life and have never had a problem finding something to do for fun. But, then again, I didn't establish my life on the edges of the metro where things are more family oriented. Since I split my time with South Beach, I am certainly aware of what a social scene looks like. And, to tell you the truth, friends from Miami Beach who have visited me in Raleigh are pleasantly surprised as to the active social life we have downtown.
Regarding weather, you couldn't pay me to live in Colorado. I have been there and couldn't breathe. My lungs hurt and my nose constantly bled because of the lack of moisture in the air. I ran one afternoon and my lungs hurt for almost a week as I wheezed. So, one person's bane is certainly another person's delight. I wouldn't ever trade a humid climate for an arid one.
Regarding the traffic, I work for a Silicon Valley company and go there often for business. The traffic there is absolutely horrendous compared to the Triangle. While rush hour peaks in the Triangle for 90 minutes of so, the traffic in the Valley stays gridlocked for up to 4 hours each AM and 4 hours each evening. It's terrible.
Just my opinion, so take this for what it's worth. I've lived here for almost 8 years now, and I'm seeing the Triangle take on a more urban form which is wonderful in about every way to me. It's becoming more dynamic, diverse, and it's increasingly a good place to be young and single. Places evolve, and I'm encouraged by what I'm seeing here.
I guess I find it wonderful that we have seasons here, but they're mild. Also, driving 2 hours for beautiful beaches, and 3 for mountains is just about perfect to me. I love the green, hilly piedmont region. In a subtle way, I sometimes find it the prettiest part of the state actually. As for Colorado--Not only will Colorado dry out your skin, but I didn't find it pretty at all when I was out there. This shocked me. Denver is perceived as being a scenic city, so it surprised me that it was so brown out there---and lack of trees was an eye-opener. To each his/her own I guess.
yeah, i guess to each his/her own...i live in Boulder and i won't go to Denver unless I have too. it's amazing that 30 miles could make such a different. boulder has trees and rivers because it is at the foot of the mountains. it's just a different world. the first time we flew into denver - i told my husband, no way. then we got to boulder and i was in heavan. if you haven't been west of the front range, you haven't seen colorado. don't get me wrong. i love north carolina. it's my home. i actually grew up near charlotte, but did everything after age 17 in Raleigh and Chapel Hill (which I love, go heels!). but if you like the outdoors, colorado is the bomb. i ski, hike, rock climb or kayak every weekend and i take my dogs most of those places. that's what's important to me.
if i were to move back to NC and I had the $, i'd live near chapel hill, the outer banks or asheville.
also, sorry that i compared SV to Raleigh traffic. i just went to college there 7 years ago and traffic jams were much more rare on I-40. when i went back, i noticed that traffic started getting bad at 3 pm. i have had SV friends who moved to raleigh and were surprised that the traffic was even remotely comparable. they envisioned that the commute from chapel hill would take 35-40 minutes at rush hour. not so.
yeah, i guess to each his/her own...i live in Boulder and i won't go to Denver unless I have too. it's amazing that 30 miles could make such a different. boulder has trees and rivers because it is at the foot of the mountains. it's just a different world. the first time we flew into denver - i told my husband, no way. then we got to boulder and i was in heavan. if you haven't been west of the front range, you haven't seen colorado. don't get me wrong. i love north carolina. it's my home. i actually grew up near charlotte, but did everything after age 17 in Raleigh and Chapel Hill (which I love, go heels!). but if you like the outdoors, colorado is the bomb. i ski, hike, rock climb or kayak every weekend and i take my dogs most of those places. that's what's important to me.
if i were to move back to NC and I had the $, i'd live near chapel hill, the outer banks or asheville.
also, sorry that i compared SV to Raleigh traffic. i just went to college there 7 years ago and traffic jams were much more rare on I-40. when i went back, i noticed that traffic started getting bad at 3 pm. i have had SV friends who moved to raleigh and were surprised that the traffic was even remotely comparable. they envisioned that the commute from chapel hill would take 35-40 minutes at rush hour. not so.
Traffic does get backed up on I-40 around airport and aviation, even all the way down to wade, but the difference IMO is that these other areas (NoCal, SoCal, DC area, etc) fight that kind of traffic for hours on end, and the traffic literally spans 20-30 miles and it's on every interstate or stretch of road ou there. I can avoid I-40, but when I worked in the DC area I couldn't avoid every road. Also, even if you sit in the I-40 traffic you'll usually be out of it in no more than 3-5 miles, where as in some other places, if you live 20 miles from work on an interstate you're going to sit in gid lock for those 20 miles (I've seen it and I've done it). That being said however, I-40 does need some relief, but when you look at other areas that are as bad or worse, they have gotten no releif, so that makes me believe we are a long way off getting any kind of traffic relief along I-40.
I, too, have lived in Boulder and moved here a year ago (wow, has it been a year already??). I thought it was funny that you mentioned Raleigh as being an incubator. I felt that Boulder was totally sheltered from reality. And believe me, I loved it and bought into it wholeheartedly, but I did sort of feel like I was living on an island paradise. As far as the scenery is concerned, I think this area is gorgeous. I was missing the trees and the green. I got tired of the brown summers and the lack of shade. My skin and hair dried out and the sun is always so intense I'm surprised I didn't get skin cancer. Oh, and don't get me started on the cost of living in Boulder....
Do I miss Boulder? Yes, sure, who wouldn't? But I'm happy to be in this beautiful state, with so many trees, and the ocean. I feel like we live in a park. We feel very lucky to live here and plan on staying for a very long time.
Denver is perceived as being a scenic city, so it surprised me that it was so brown out there---and lack of trees was an eye-opener. To each his/her own I guess.
The first time I saw Denver and the lack of trees on top of the Mts. I realized why they are called.... The Rocky Mountains. Trees don't grow on rocks.
I think the scenic thing really is to each their own. I honestly do not find the Triangle to be all that green. But I moved from Portland, where even roofs are covered in green...moss that is. My soul aches for some sort of vista!! I haven't found any real views here. I miss crossing bridges and seeing the river & city scape and glacier mountains (all year round). BUT I LOVE that I've seen a full moon through the pine trees EVERY month that I've been here!! Can't get that in Oregon. I also love the fire flies in the summer here in NC. And we were at the beach this weekend and got in the water!! In March!!! That was spectacular. (As my son said the water was warmer than it is in Oregon even in August!)
So while there are things in my mind that will just never measure up to my previous life in Oregon, I'm finding all sorts of new things that are slowly infusing into my life. And one day I'll probably never be able to imagine living somewhere that I can't see a full moon every month!
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Colorado, etc.
My soul aches for some sort of vista!! I haven't found any real views here. I miss crossing bridges and seeing the river & city scape and glacier mountains (all year round). BUT I LOVE that I've seen a full moon through the pine trees EVERY month that I've been here!! Can't get that in Oregon. I also love the fire flies in the summer here in NC. And we were at the beach this weekend and got in the water!! In March!!! That was spectacular. (As my son said the water was warmer than it is in Oregon even in August!) 
