Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
 [Register]
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary The Triangle Area
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-31-2018, 06:21 AM
 
Location: NC
11,208 posts, read 8,264,953 times
Reputation: 12412

Advertisements

I have a loved one who is in need of support and change. They are a young adult, 18 years of age, so programs for minors will not apply. I don't want to get into too much detail, and I absolutely don't want to get into explaining or justifying why other options may not work.

The relevant facts are:
-She cannot live with her dad, by mutual agreement, for reasons that won't be disclosed
-Her mom is kicking her out, and she has no place to go.
-She has medical and psychological needs
-There are some concerns about substance abuse, although not (yet) the primary concern.


I'm trying to help this young adult find a place where she can learn to live a good life, and be a productive member of society, who is ultimately self-supportive, and not fully reliant on anyone.

Durham Rescue mission seems to be the right fit, their main steps are:
1. Get clean
2. Learn life skills
3. Transition to the real world.

Not sure it matters, but I see DRM is very religious based. The young lady is not. She is not anti-religion, more like "indifferent". She is not real warm to the idea of going to a shelter, but is running out of other options, much of which is due to her own actions.

I will be a person who is going to be a mentor, and a supporter. If she allows, I'll be involved. I live in Cary. DRM seems like a good fit, but perhaps far away. Not a problem, but in practice, it will limit the amount of time I can be there, compared to a place that is closer.

And yes, I have considered taking her in myself, but after discussing with her, it is not an option.

So my questions that I seek feedback:
-Anyone have experience with DRM. Good or bad, I'd love to hear feedback?
-Anything similar and equally as good that is closer to South Cary?
-Any cost considerations she'd need to be aware of? (No job, no money.)

^Seems like DRM is among the best in the region. If that's the case, I will encourage her to go there, and will offer that support. If there is a better, closer option, it will only add to a better outcome for her. Hence why I'm asking.

She is a naive young lady. Much like most people her age, she thinks she knows more than she does. I'm scared to death for her, going to a shelter, but I think she's run out of other options. I'm interested in local feedback and info that I can use to guide my discussions and guidance with her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-31-2018, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Apex NC, the Peak of Good Loving.
1,701 posts, read 2,580,006 times
Reputation: 2709
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myghost View Post
... I'm trying to help this young adult find a place where she can learn to live a good life, and be a productive member of society, who is ultimately self-supportive, and not fully reliant on anyone. ...
Has she considered enlisting in the military?

.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2018, 07:30 AM
 
Location: The City of Medicine
1,423 posts, read 1,470,257 times
Reputation: 1333
If she’s confirmed to have substance abuse issues, then I would also take a look at some of TROSA’s offerings . I can’t really speak about Durham Rescue Mission, because I haven’t had any experiences with them BUT I do know that they have at least two shelters (The main one on the corner of Main and Alston and the Good Samaritan Inn off of I-85 and Avondale.)

There’s also Urban Ministries of Durham, which is practically next to Durham County Human Services (the health department) and across from ABC11’s studio. I don’t exactly know if there’s a shelter there but I’d also look to them for resources.

If you don’t want to leave Wake County, Dorcas has some help but I don’t believe that they have a shelter. There’s also the Helping Hand Mission and the Raleigh Rescue Mission, both of which are in Raleigh
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2018, 07:32 AM
 
569 posts, read 438,369 times
Reputation: 665
Have you considered TROSA? They have so many options for learning work skills to transition. I think it requires a two year commitment though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-04-2018, 05:31 PM
 
4,985 posts, read 3,942,564 times
Reputation: 10147
given the lack of specific details, i vote for TROSA, too. more details might provide a better answer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2018, 05:27 AM
 
Location: NC
11,208 posts, read 8,264,953 times
Reputation: 12412
Patient has not been "diagnosed" with a substance abuse issue. It probably exists, but not having that official diagnosis sounds like it might be a barrier to getting into TROSA.

Biggest issue is that the patient is "getting by", so not super motivated to get help. She needs it, she needs the structure and direction, but my understanding is that either or these programs require buy in from the person.

Not sure what other info is needed, without writing their biography. I'm not trying to be difficult. It's someone I care for deeply, and it's very difficult to watch them and not be able to help more. (FYI, I am also talking with Patient on a regular basis, and with a few mental care professionals to get advice and direction. The reason for this thread is not so much to ask people "what to do", as that would be impossible to answer without knowing a LOT more. The purpose of this is to hear about people's experiences, good or bad, and also to learn of potential roadblocks, or potential solutions I hadn't considered. It has been helpful so far, so thanks to all who have responded. EVERYONE thanks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2018, 06:46 AM
 
385 posts, read 346,885 times
Reputation: 405
Another resource in Wake county is Alliance Health Care, Alliancebhc.org. They offer access to income based mental and physical healthcare. They also have help for those with drug abuse issues. Some access to local shelters is also offered. Young adults that want to go there own way but without the skills to do so is an age old problem.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2018, 05:18 PM
 
4,985 posts, read 3,942,564 times
Reputation: 10147
additional info: drug addiction. alcohol, illegal drugs, or legal drugs. sometimes treatment options depend upon the dependency. however, if this is like my brother-in-law, it is everything. whatever they are selling, he is buying.

since you asked about experiences, here we go with a looong post.....

1. the BIL has been married and divorced 3 times (that we know about) and has two children (of which we are aware).
2. he has At Least one felony hit-and-run conviction, which severely curtails his job offers and treatment options.
3. he might not have a valid driver's license, but he drives, anyway. (look out, people)

11 years ago, we took him in. that lasted 2 months. his sister, my wife, finally had had enough.
10 years ago, we took in his son for 5 months. the son got straightened out, got married, has 4 kids, and spent a weekend with us last year. wonderful time.
good to see him all grown up and responsible. i don't know how he did it (maybe his wife?), but his children are "please and thank you" polite.
as for the BIL's daughter, she has 5 children. they are beautiful. last i heard, two were modeling kids clothes for catalogs and already made enough for college.

back to the BIL. no hope for him. his children, ex-wives, etc. do not want him around. it is my opinion, part of this
was inherited because his grandfather was the same way. his father (my FIL) was a black-out alcoholic, but joined
AA and has been sober since. i first met him 8 months after he took his last drink. the BIL failed AA, rehab, all that.
how does he make money? as above, we "think" he buys and sells drugs and uses a lot of what he buys.

potential roadblocks and solutions:
1. sometimes, as the song says, someone is "Born This Way". acceptance of reality.
2. AA works. it's kinda/sorta religious, but it works for enough people.
3. old quote: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2018, 06:29 PM
 
329 posts, read 248,915 times
Reputation: 719
My Church donates to DRM, and so does my former Church. We also have some of the ensembles come sing for us, which are usually recovered addicts and we give them all goody bags.



It is Christian based. Christ is the only thing that can help you to FULLY overcome and addiction.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-05-2018, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Chapelboro
12,799 posts, read 16,274,477 times
Reputation: 11225
If she has mental health issues, Caramore in Chapel Hill might be worth checking out. https://www.caramore.org/
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:



Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:27 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top