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I can relate to the OP's dilemma - no fence, four dogs, and neighbors of all ages thinking they had free reign to our back yard. Since we were new to the neighborhood, we didn't want to upset any body, but our primary concern was liability, as other posters have emphasized. Our dogs were/are our kids, so we wanted to protect them from people, as well as protect people from them. Within a few days of living in our new home, we quickly realized we had to get a fence.
We watched as 2 boys (8-10 years old) threw rocks at our dogs, singling out the slowest and oldest dog, who is blind and deaf. My husband told them to stop and they did. The next day they were at it again. He went to the boys' parents to discuss this situation with them, but was quickly informed that their kids were doing nothing wrong and we should keep our dogs inside if we didn't want the kids to "play" with them.
We installed a fence quickly thereafter. Problem solved, for the most part. No more roaming neighbors, more relaxed dogs and owners, etc. Incidentally, a few months later, the boys and their family moved and we haven't had any more problems since then.
It is NOT a Southern thing to allow or not allow children into the yard, back door, etc.! It's simply a matter of how we are raised. To some, it's a matter of respect to use only designated areas, knock before entering, etc. To others, it's a matter of neighborliness to allow people access. Just because I was raised this way and you were raised that way doesn't make either one of us right or wrong.
im wondering if this is a common thing in the carolinas or a southern habit that is not seen as a bad thing by locals, ive had a man walking his dog on my driveway to get to road behind my house. they seem to be so confident that theres nothing wrong with what there doing. and when confronted they act like somethings wrong with you,very strange.
Not at all (a "Southern thing") because "southern manners" would always insist that you ask first and apologize if confronted about it. It's one thing if they legitimately thought it was OK, to walk there, but then to get an attitude about it? Wow.
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We watched as 2 boys (8-10 years old) threw rocks at our dogs, singling out the slowest and oldest dog, who is blind and deaf. My husband told them to stop and they did. The next day they were at it again. He went to the boys' parents to discuss this situation with them, but was quickly informed that their kids were doing nothing wrong and we should keep our dogs inside if we didn't want the kids to "play" with them.
Good Lord--there would have been a couple fewer kids in my neighborhood if that had happened to me. How can parents raise their kids that way?? I'm glad they moved away!
It's not a local thing! I was born here and would never, ever cut through a person's yard if I didn't already know for a fact it was OK with them or let my kids play in someone's yard uninvited.
If your kid(s) was going to walk to a friends a house and they had an opportunity to walk through a neighbors backyard to cut down a 10 min walk to 30 seconds what would you tell your kid?
I'd say: "Stop being lazy! You need more exercise anyway!"
Coming from NJ where all of our yards were fenced, this was so foreign to me and really surprised me. Before buying our house here in NC we rented a house for 9 mos in Cary that was unfenced on a wooded lot. I have a dog that I would take out at 11:30 at night for it's last potty break. I would actually take the dog out on a leash near the treeline since the yard was unfenced. Imagine my surprise about a week after we moved in to find two large, grown men walking thru the yard! It was so dark that I didn't even see them but my dog did! I could barely hold her back on the leash.
This creeped me out the entire time we rented there. Day and night there were people walking thru the yard. Apparently our development backed up to a main street and was an easy cut-thru. It just seemed so insane to me to be sitting on our patio as people would walk by and sometimes not even acknowlege us sitting there! As renters we could not fence it in but I got tired of picking up tons of litter out of the yard.
Coming from NJ where all of our yards were fenced, this was so foreign to me and really surprised me. Before buying our house here in NC we rented a house for 9 mos in Cary that was unfenced on a wooded lot. I have a dog that I would take out at 11:30 at night for it's last potty break. I would actually take the dog out on a leash near the treeline since the yard was unfenced. Imagine my surprise about a week after we moved in to find two large, grown men walking thru the yard! It was so dark that I didn't even see them but my dog did! I could barely hold her back on the leash.
This creeped me out the entire time we rented there. Day and night there were people walking thru the yard. Apparently our development backed up to a main street and was an easy cut-thru. It just seemed so insane to me to be sitting on our patio as people would walk by and sometimes not even acknowlege us sitting there! As renters we could not fence it in but I got tired of picking up tons of litter out of the yard.
Taryn
I'm curious where this was in Cary! I haven't had adults do it yet (that I know of) but teenagers do it all the time! They would walk right through our yard, through the gate and not ever look up or say a word!
I'm curious where this was in Cary! I haven't had adults do it yet (that I know of) but teenagers do it all the time! They would walk right through our yard, through the gate and not ever look up or say a word!
It was in the Kingswood sub-division near downtown Cary. DH tells me that there was a sportsbar called Woody's right behind the development and there were a lot of late night trespassers!
I could see cutting through someone's property IF it was a trip that had to be made daily and took 10 min off the walk BUT only with the property owner's permission. I would never cut through someone's property nor would my kids.
And to the poster who had neighborhood kids on their swingset while eating dinner, I'm just flabbergasted! We live in a neighborhood where many kids play together back n forth in all the yards BUT only while they are playing WITH each other. My kids would never go across the street to swim in the neighbor's pool or swing on the swingset without permission. Heck, they are not even allowed in their house without an invitation. Which btw brings me to a funny story.
I was at the neighbors who had invited us/our kids to swim. The kids were swimming and the adults talking. The grandma there tells me that my 6 year old rang the doorbell the week before and announced to her that "he was allowed to come in but only if he was invited". lol....luckily he's a cutie and she thought it was adorable but I had to explain to my cutie what is appropriate.
If it were me, I'd say something to the parents in both cases, cutting through AND playing on your property. Sometimes people will get upset no matter what. Still its your property and you have a right to your privacy and to not have to worry about liability. If one is not comfortable with a gentle confrontation, then maybe put up those smaller 1 foot high fences that stick in the ground until you can get to fencing in the yard. It may help to add a sign too...."please keep off the grass" or something similar.
They used to do that in our neighborhood as well. We had a bball goal in our driveway and sometimes if there were no cars there or no one home they would start playing in OUR driveway. We eventually called the police one time while they were playing...and they got the hint...b/c they wouldn't listen to us otherwise. We've had some kids hop the fence in our back yard as well. Luckily they didn't trample anything.
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