How do I not shock the natives? (Raleigh, Durham: chapel, school)

[Tired of VA and DC]

We will be moving to the area sometime this summer, early fall. On several occasions while visiting, people have asked us our religion (usually within ten minutes of talking to us for the first time). We are not church going people and i VERY quickly found out that that is one fast way to end any discussion. This strikes me as a very personal question, but it seems to be the norm here in NC. I can accept this but it seems that the locals are not so accepting of a non church goer. (not very church like behaviour to me) Any suggestions as to how I could gracefully reply to such an intrusive question? I am tired of being looked at like I have the plague and quite frankly, am getting quite angry about this. I just want to scream :"I did my time, 13 years of private Episcopal school with services everyday. You only go one day a week, seems like you need to catch up to me!"

Suggestions?

[magicmk]

Religion is a personal issue to me. I treat religious discussions exactly like political discussions - I'm honest, but I keep my answers as short and to the point as possible, indicating that I have no real interest in getting too deep into discussion about it. I find nothing rude about that. However, I would find it rude for someone to keep prying into a matter that is something you're trying to express as personal and private. There really should be no reason for someone to take offense to that.

[raccemup]

I have been here for 4 1/2 years and I have not had this problem. Where are you moving to? Anyhoo... You could just hang out with me! I'm right there with you. I totally agree with you and think that it is so rude for someone to assume that everyone holds the same beliefs and goes to church because they do. I don't have a suggestion for you other than to say be honest, be yourself and if people don't like it, too bad for them.

[tigerlily]

Why care what these rude people think. It seems there are many people moving to the area who don't care about your religious affiliation. My husband's response will be: "I'm a Warlock". LOL. We also did our time as we were both raised Catholic.

[Tired of VA and DC]

Thanks all. I know I'm not the only one out there.

Tigerlily, I just spewed soda all over the screen from laughing.

[tigerlily]

Originally Posted by Tired of VA and DC

Thanks all. I know I'm not the only one out there.

Tigerlily, I just spewed soda all over the screen from laughing.

Sorry, I should have given you a beverage warning. LOL

[RaleighRob]

There was a couple of very heated threads on this in the main NC room a few weeks ago. Needless to say it got kinda ugly.

Honestly, if you move to the urban areas here in the Triangle (ITB Raleigh, Durham, or Chapel Hill/Carrboro), you could tell people you worshipped the freakin' Flying Spaghetti Monster and we won't give a rat's butt.

The suburban outlying areas and rural parts? Obviously gonna be a different story....I can't predict what will happen there. But deep in the cities, more people spend their Sunday mornings worrying where they're gonna find a cheap brunch than going to church.

[cncsmomndad]

So far, we haven't been asked about our religion or lack thereof. Haven't even been invited to church.

[NewUser]

I went to a party and the first thing that someone asked me after being introduced was "So. . . where do you go?"

I had to stop and think about it for a while because I wasn't sure what they meant. Where do I go? Go for what?

They clarified to say "Where do you worship?"

My response to people that nosy is "I'm a paranoid agnostic". When they look at me kinda funny I say "I question the existence of God, but I know that out there somewhere there's a higher power out to get me."

[leighbhe]

It is interesting to me to hear that people actually ask what others religious affiliation or background is...........I have lived here since I was 3, and I cannot remember ever being asked that question. Of course, I was in chapel hill and that may have something to do with it. Even though since I have moved to wake forest (almost 2 years) I haven't had people ask me where I go to church.............

Leigh