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Old 02-24-2007, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
425 posts, read 1,253,042 times
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OK - I need to get this straight. I come originally from AZ and when I say, "Well Bless YOUR Heart", is that being taken now that I live in NC as a sarcastic remark? I mean it to be, "I feel your pain", or, "I'm sorry for your pain" - nothing remotely sarcastic. Or is it, "Well Bless MY heart", and is that sarcastic? I don't believe I have ever said MY heart. Can someone set me straight before I offend someone - thanks.
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Old 02-24-2007, 06:47 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
425 posts, read 1,253,042 times
Reputation: 232
Question OK - Here's another one

I have often said, "Well bless his/her heart", to show sympathy. Am I insulting someone? Never thought about what I say so much, as now that I have moved here! Maybe I just need to qualify that I am from a Western State, "And don't know any better - LOL!"
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:03 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest
3,124 posts, read 12,632,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lolligrump View Post
OK - I need to get this straight. I come originally from AZ and when I say, "Well Bless YOUR Heart", is that being taken now that I live in NC as a sarcastic remark? I mean it to be, "I feel your pain", or, "I'm sorry for your pain" - nothing remotely sarcastic. Or is it, "Well Bless MY heart", and is that sarcastic? I don't believe I have ever said MY heart. Can someone set me straight before I offend someone - thanks.
It can be used both ways....guess a lot depends on the person saying it and their tone.

I've seen it used quite nastily several times.
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest
2,834 posts, read 11,998,044 times
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I would say, based on the times I have heard it with my husbands family (long time southerner's) they use it more as a quassi insult (bless her heart she didn't know it better, etc). I don't hear them use it as much for sympathy, but I am sure it is done and can be used in context of the situation. I just tend to be in more situations that are not sympathy related, I guess.

I have always felt like people tend to use it more as a way to lessen the blow of an insult (lessen the blow is used lightly here!). My guess is, if you are using it directly to the person, in sympathy, then the context would be understood.

Leigh
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Portland, Oregon
5,299 posts, read 8,223,440 times
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Default The direct route is the best

If somebody says it to me I'll just ask them what they mean.
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Old 02-25-2007, 12:45 AM
 
359 posts, read 1,833,657 times
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Well bless your heart, Tigerlily
And if anyone here ever hears me say that (not that you'll know it's me), I mean it out of sincere concern and sympathy. Nothing hidden. That's how it was always said to me growing up, and that's how I've always taken it.
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Old 02-25-2007, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
2,834 posts, read 11,998,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerlily View Post
If somebody says it to me I'll just ask them what they mean.
True southerners say these things because we are not direct! Many may be offended by you asking what exactly do they mean by that! I am not trying to stir anything up here, but honestly, it may offend some because the polite thing to do would be to just say "well, thank you very much" and move on instead of question what the person was saying! Just giving people a heads up!

Leigh
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Old 02-25-2007, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
607 posts, read 2,423,693 times
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Bless your heart in our family is exactly what it says. Bless your heart. My daugthers boyfriend just dumped her, bless her heart. Comprende???
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Old 02-25-2007, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest NC
1,611 posts, read 4,833,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leighbhe View Post
True southerners say these things because we are not direct! Many may be offended by you asking what exactly do they mean by that! I am not trying to stir anything up here, but honestly, it may offend some because the polite thing to do would be to just say "well, thank you very much" and move on instead of question what the person was saying! Just giving people a heads up!

Leigh
Sort of like the Brooklyn / Queens phrase, "Not for nothing, but..." which is used to soften the blow of what comes next
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Old 02-25-2007, 12:17 PM
 
3,155 posts, read 10,724,702 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lolligrump View Post
OK - I need to get this straight. I come originally from AZ and when I say, "Well Bless YOUR Heart", is that being taken now that I live in NC as a sarcastic remark? I mean it to be, "I feel your pain", or, "I'm sorry for your pain" - nothing remotely sarcastic. Or is it, "Well Bless MY heart", and is that sarcastic? I don't believe I have ever said MY heart. Can someone set me straight before I offend someone - thanks.
Lolligrump, I think it's very sweet that you want to pick up the local sayings of your new home. (I'm assuming you did not say WBYH or BYH in AZ. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

I have a Candian friend here in Portland and where she is from the locals say "A" a lot. She said that it drives the locals crazy when Americans (they always can spot us she says) come up and throw around a bunch of "A's". She has a friend who owns a bar who charges an extra "A" tax for the number the drunk American uses. LOL!

It makes me wonder what the locals might think of a non-local using "Bless your heart." I guess the only way to know for sure is try it and see what the response is. But as Leighbe pointed out Southerns tend not to be direct so I don't know if they will let on what they think.

I grew up in NC but have been on the West Coast for so many years that I've lost my accent. So I know I could never pull it off. But I also couldn't pull off WBYH or BYH because those sayings will always make me think of my sweet old Granny and Grandaddy and their friends. And they were, imho, a truely unique generation.

But I do hope someone still says it.... because it makes me think of them.

Good luck settling into your new life in NC. I hope you only get the sincere "Bless your heart"s.
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