Places that have received a "great singles scene" rating by Forbes, etc aren't always great places to find a mate... (Raleigh: school, to live in)

[michaelsa]

....because people who choose to live in cities with great single's scenes often love dating, and don't want anything more...NY, San Francisco and Boulder, CO come to mind...

I'd love to know how you rate US cities in terms of whether or not they're a good place to find a likely mate--not just a likely date. I'm sorry if this is a gross generalization, but I assume that people are more likely to get married (and at a younger age) if they were raised in the South, compared to other parts of the country. Feel free to jump all over that one and tear it apart, or back me up if you agree. I'd love to know your thoughts. Thanks!

[rnc2mbfl]

I personally view a singles scene differently. For me, a place with a strong singles scene isn't one where finding a mate is a priority but rather a place where one can feel comfortable as a single person. To me, there's nothing worse than being single in a place where everyone is paired. And, for me personally, I want to be somewhere with others who remain single by choice instead of by unfortunate circumstance.
To that end, I feel just fine in my part of Raleigh as I do in my part of Miami Beach. I also seek out activities that don't necessarily focus on finding a way to make me NOT single.

[michaelsa]

That makes perfect sense. Thank you for your reply! I guess I'm wondering what are good places to get "not single."

[Huckleberry3911948]

IMHO
bars, no matter how pretty no matter how exciting the city, are bars.
3 things i know about a gal i meet in a bar right off
she likes bars
she likes to drink
she likes bar people
i may soon discover she also likes bar games

[ljd1010]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

IMHO
bars, no matter how pretty no matter how exciting the city, are bars.
3 things i know about a gal i meet in a bar right off
she likes bars
she likes to drink
she likes bar people
i may soon discover she also likes bar games

Girls do get together on occasion and go out. Certainly doesn't mean they frequent bars, like to drink much and most certainly does not say they may into bar games! And, if you were in a bar, might not you be looking for the same. Hmmm.....double standard.

[rushore]

It is a fairly safe bet that, on average, the people you meet in bars aren't the people you would want to date long term. Again, that is on average. There are certainly people who go out to bars who are good long term catches, but I would venture an educated guess that they are in the minority.

[he's so hott]

Originally Posted by rushore

It is a fairly safe bet that, on average, the people you meet in bars aren't the people you would want to date long term. Again, that is on average. There are certainly people who go out to bars who are good long term catches, but I would venture an educated guess that they are in the minority.

Exactly. In my eyes you're more likely to find a hookup in a bar as opposed to a long-term mate.................not saying that the fox won't get into the hen house, but it's few and far and I do mean far between.

[scorp200]

I dunno - I think bars are underrated. I mean it depends on the bar. I've met guys in bars and know quite a few married couples who met in them...

A nice Irish pub is really quite perfect for conversation...

...a club, not so much?

[rushore]

Originally Posted by scorp200

I dunno - I think bars are underrated. I mean it depends on the bar. I've met guys in bars and know quite a few married couples who met in them...

A nice Irish pub is really quite perfect for conversation...

...a club, not so much?

I submited this in a similar post: http://www.city-data.com/forum/ralei...ml#post6748987

I'm not a church goer, but it is definitely the best place to meet upstanding single women! For non-churchgoers like me, you really have only a few places to meet upstanding women:

1. Sports bars: You get a higher, and older, class of women than meat-markets.
2. Meetups
3. Work
4. Local sports leagues: This is a good one since there are lots of coed volleyball, softball, and ultimate frisbee leagues that don't require knowing someone special to join.

I'd consider a pub similar to a sports bar in this sense. I'm differentiating it from a night club or a meat market bar.

[gibbie99]

Consider this. What do you like doing? Could you meet interesting people while doing it? I met my wife on the grad school bus (which I think is funny, but anyhow). You have to keep your eye out, I think clubs (ie sports clubs not places to get plastered) and the sort are great for meeting new people, perhaps not necessarily those looking for a mate. IMHO the key is expanding your circle of friends, find friends of friends, etc. My good friend met his fiance at a party. Already they had a lot in common, same friend, similiar background, etc. That makes for a good match (IMHO).

The likelyhood of finding a good match online or in bars? Practically zero, been there done that. Online people lie (alot). Bars don't attract the best and brightest (sorry if this is a generalization, it's my opinion).

Single working adult? I imagine it would be challenging to find a mate, but you need to consider outside interests, friends, etc.