Real estate agent doesn't want us to look at Durham (Raleigh: house, neighborhood)

[mdp_az]

Originally Posted by johnkim575

Durham schools are not made up very well demographically. Most are made up of Hispanics and African-Americans. I know that may not sound too PC, but I think an honest opinion is always more helpful. I moved from Durham to Cary when my kids turned school age.

Chapel Hill schools are great because we used my sister's address for a couple of years to attend those schools, but the housing prices (the similar home costs $80-100k more) made me move to Cary instead.

Good luck with your decision.

To each their own I guess. The diversity in Durham, including Durham's schools) is one of the reasons we moved to Durham from north Raleigh before our son started school. FWIW, we are white, so he'll be around black, Latino and Asian kids ! Imagine that, he might actually see the real world where people are different!

[senalj]

Originally Posted by johnkim575

Durham schools are not made up very well demographically. Most are made up of Hispanics and African-Americans. I know that may not sound too PC, but I think an honest opinion is always more helpful. I moved from Durham to Cary when my kids turned school age.

Chapel Hill schools are great because we used my sister's address for a couple of years to attend those schools, but the housing prices (the similar home costs $80-100k more) made me move to Cary instead.

Good luck with your decision.

Wow, as a black person, I don't know whether I should be amused or offended. Let's go with amused. Why don't you want your kids exposed to others who are different than they? Does black/hispanic relate to "criminal" for you? If so, you and your family are truly at a disadvantage in this world, because you are missing out on some really wonderful people. I grew up on military bases, so I have always been around diverse people and my friendships reflect that. I am just as comfortable around white people as I am around black, asian, native american, hispanic and other groups. I believe this gives me an advantage because I get to learn different cultures, beliefs and perspectives.

When I had my daughter, we lived in Anchorage, Alaska, which is a diverse city. As such, my daughter had the pleasure of having many different nationalities as her friends (she was even named an honorary Samoan at one point). I have tried to treat people as people, regardless of their race and I have been rewarded with great friends who will be with me for the rest of my life.

People who think like you are the reason Americans can't completely get over their racist past. To stereotype me as a "criminal" or "unsavory character" based on the color of my skin is wrong, especially since I have never done drugs, been an alcoholic (I rarely, if ever drink), or committed a crime. I am also highly educated and have a job I enjoy that pays me well. So I'm glad you have found the community that suits you and I hope you aren't doing your kids a huge disservice by teaching them that blacks and hispanics are all no-good. Just as there are good people of all races, there are bad people of all races, so stop blaming the minorities for all the bad already!

[PDXmom]

Originally Posted by mdp_az

To each their own I guess. The diversity in Durham, including Durham's schools) is one of the reasons we moved to Durham from north Raleigh before our son started school. FWIW, we are white, so he'll be around black, Latino and Asian kids ! Imagine that, he might actually see the real world where people are different!

Us too. My hubby works from home and we could have picked anywhere in this state. But we picked Durham for the diversity. Portland was diverse in others ways but had zip racially diversity. We wanted our children growing up with the advantaged of having friends of many races and cultures. They are learning and growing in ways that would not have been possible in Portland... and we credit it all to living in Durham.

[rnc2mbfl]

Originally Posted by senalj

Wow, as a black person, I don't know whether I should be amused or offended. Let's go with amused. Why don't you want your kids exposed to others who are different than they? Does black/hispanic relate to "criminal" for you? If so, you and your family are truly at a disadvantage in this world, because you are missing out on some really wonderful people. I grew up on military bases, so I have always been around diverse people and my friendships reflect that. I am just as comfortable around white people as I am around black, asian, native american, hispanic and other groups. I believe this gives me an advantage because I get to learn different cultures, beliefs and perspectives.

When I had my daughter, we lived in Anchorage, Alaska, which is a diverse city. As such, my daughter had the pleasure of having many different nationalities as her friends (she was even named an honorary Samoan at one point). I have tried to treat people as people, regardless of their race and I have been rewarded with great friends who will be with me for the rest of my life.

People who think like you are the reason Americans can't completely get over their racist past. To stereotype me as a "criminal" or "unsavory character" based on the color of my skin is wrong, especially since I have never done drugs, been an alcoholic (I rarely, if ever drink), or committed a crime. I am also highly educated and have a job I enjoy that pays me well. So I'm glad you have found the community that suits you and I hope you aren't doing your kids a huge disservice by teaching them that blacks and hispanics are all no-good. Just as there are good people of all races, there are bad people of all races, so stop blaming the minorities for all the bad already!

The post to which you responded never used the terms "criminal" or "unsavory". However, I can see how it's easy to get from point A to point B in that logic. I think that most people reading that post would come to a similar conclusion as you. In any case, I think it's safe to say that the demographics aren't being painted as positive. That said, I don't think it's a good idea to put words in the mouths of others since it can only be used to fuel/justify their bigotted and prejudiced behaviors. They have been given their rope, let them hang themselves. They are doing just fine in that regard without help.
As a "white" person, I am ashamed that this sort of prejudice still exists in our society and want you to know that it's not representative of how everyone else feels or thinks.

[Charlton Dude]

Originally Posted by johnkim575

Durham schools are not made up very well demographically. Most are made up of Hispanics and African-Americans. I know that may not sound too PC, but I think an honest opinion is always more helpful. I moved from Durham to Cary when my kids turned school age.

I think I understand the point you are trying to make and I will give you the benefit if the doubt, along with a little extra info. I agree that for all the talk of "diversity", there are sections of Durham that are completely out of whack. Having 90% black and 10% white is not much diversity. Then there are other sections that have "true" diversity. Depending on where you are in Durham, you will find vastly different ratios, so I would be a little careful of thinking that all of Durham is either diverse or not diverse.

FWIW - I think diversity is completely overrated. While I do enjoy working with people from all over the world, I couldn't care less about it in the towns I choose to live in. I don't live anywhere I do for the people, but for other reasons. And when it comes to schools, I only care about the education, not the social agenda. As a parent, it is up to me to parent my child on right and wrong and on respect, not up to some stranger in the school system. My immediate family all turned out just fine without "diversity". We know what is right and wrong without having to be shown. We know that stepping in front of a train would not be good, even without doing it.

[roncorey1]

Well I don't know much about the schools in Durham County, but I live in SoccerMomville on the north side of Durham and I can tell for a FACT that there are plenty of nice and safe neighborhoods in Durham. Have a security system in my home, but I've never felt the need to activate it. Left my doors unbolted countless times (using handle lock only), left my windows open to run to the store, left my 10 yr old playing with neighbors kids to run to the store/PO, etc., etc.... And this is not some gated community filled w/so-called "executive" homes. Just a $150-200k, 1500-2100SF, 1/4 acre lot type area. Pool, clubhouse, HOA...

So if your job is in the north side of town then I'd recommend looking for yourself. Go online search for yourself and then tell your agent what YOU want to look at.

Also look at Bahama, Rougemont, Timberlake (Person Co.). GOOD LUCK!

[zitsky]

Hi, I was surprised to see this thread was still going. Here's an update. My partner and I had given up on the idea of moving out there but now it's back on the table. He had told the company he interviewed with that he wasn't interested, but they came back and made another offer. I don't have a job yet but he'd be making enough that we're willing to consider it. We're in the process of moving ahead, assuming his company can finalize the job offer. I may still find a job either before or after we go out there.

However.... when I visited Durham, I didn't like it as much as I expected. A lot of the city felt too suburban to me. I visited some of the developments in southwest Durham, and it was one subdivision after another. You can hate me for saying this, but I actually felt the most comfortable in Chapel Hill. Call me crazy but I liked the University Mall and the Southern Season store over there. I also liked the small town feel. We found a house that I fell in love with, but I doubt we will actually consider it as I think it is overpriced for this market.

I haven't completely ruled out Durham but I didn't see too many neighborhoods that I really liked. Downtown Durham is interesting, but people don't seem to mix very much. A lot of the downtown restaurants had mostly white clientele when we visited, which was kind of surprising for a town with about 50% African American residents.

After my trip back east, I came back to California realizing how much I like my current neighborhood. I'm a little hesitant to move now, because many neighborhoods I looked at felt too suburban and I hate that feeling. I keep looking at so many "cookie cutter" houses online that look exactly the same. I can't seem to find anything with some unique personality.

[Charlton Dude]

Originally Posted by zitsky

A lot of the downtown restaurants had mostly white clientele when we visited, which was kind of surprising for a town with about 50% African American residents.

It is funny you noticed this and it is not just Downtown Durham. We have noticed very few blacks (almost none) in any restaurant we go to, no matter if it is in the city or the suburbs. Almost everyone is white. It is so obvious, but we don't know why it is.

[loki893]

Originally Posted by Charlton Dude

It is funny you noticed this and it is not just Downtown Durham. We have noticed very few blacks (almost none) in any restaurant we go to, no matter if it is in the city or the suburbs. Almost everyone is white. It is so obvious, but we don't know why it is.

Longtime lurker, infrequent poster... I thought you were the Dude who never "noticed" diversity one way or another?

[Snapaholics]

ok so if i was going to work in raleigh, and i am a white single mom with a black daughter (not mixed....black) and possibly one day 2 black daughters,

would i want to consider raleigh or durham?

when the poster a few posts ago mentioned it all being too suburban and not much character, that is the kind of area i'd like to avoid. i want amenities for my daughter, swim team, dance lessons, etc, but i'd like to be maybe in an older area for living...even maybe .5 or 1 acre. but it must be diverse.

so what's the opinions on that?

steph