U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
 [Register]
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary The Triangle Area
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-29-2009, 07:28 AM
 
23 posts, read 30,698 times
Reputation: 14
Default What is a Parent supposed to do?

I have a 22 yr. old daughter who has learning disabilities. She has been having trouble in her 4 yr. college...can't find the right fit for a major, may not be able to complete the foreign language requirement, has not ever held a job. I know she is kinda miserable. I suggested she take a leave of absence from her school and just go to her local community college to get some real skills. I suspect she feels, as if she is letting her parents down along with herself. I'm becoming miserable too, because I want her to go forward ( I realize there are steps forward and then back in these cases , plus maybe more time to mature). Are there any good therapists, who help young adults in trying to sort out these issues? I can only do so much....because resentment and anger sets in from both sides.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-29-2009, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Katy
1,152 posts, read 1,795,186 times
Reputation: 946
What has she been diagnosed with?
Has that kept her from getting a job or has she just not wanted a job?
Maybe she also just needs a break from school.
I know when I was about that age, I took a break from school for about a year just to get away from it for a while.
I also had problems finding the right major and struggled in a few classes.
When I started school again I was re energized and ended up graduating with honors.
It was honestly one of the best decisions I made even though my parents didn't really support it at the time.
Just reassure her that her leaving school for a little while will not disappoint you and that you're there to support her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2009, 07:52 AM
 
Location: North Carolina; former New York Stater
6,060 posts, read 8,794,028 times
Reputation: 4078
Are there resources you can contact at her college (with her permission)?

A relative of mine in high school has learning disabilities and was failing. She is now a straight-A student. She had to receive her information in a way that she could understand it (written versus auditory), and it made all the difference. Her mother had to fight to make it happen.

I think she also needed a foreign language requirement, and at one time, her mother was going to have her take American Sign Language (which was an option). I can't recall whatever happened; they may have dropped the requirement. She would not have been able to fulfill the language requirement due to her disabilities.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2009, 07:55 AM
 
929 posts, read 1,696,481 times
Reputation: 754
Triump on Creedmoor road offers a lot of services that may help. They would do an assesment and figure out what she needs. They have a huge number of resources...they do family therapy, individual therapy, and have a ton support services (that may help with the school issue and/or life skills.) I go to individual therapy for PTSD. Everyone I've met has been easy to talk to. Good Luck! Triumph, LLC - Comprehensive, Compassionate Care
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2009, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest, NC
1,032 posts, read 2,233,655 times
Reputation: 215
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elaine54 View Post
I have a 22 yr. old daughter who has learning disabilities. She has been having trouble in her 4 yr. college...can't find the right fit for a major, may not be able to complete the foreign language requirement, has not ever held a job. I know she is kinda miserable. I suggested she take a leave of absence from her school and just go to her local community college to get some real skills. I suspect she feels, as if she is letting her parents down along with herself. I'm becoming miserable too, because I want her to go forward ( I realize there are steps forward and then back in these cases , plus maybe more time to mature). Are there any good therapists, who help young adults in trying to sort out these issues? I can only do so much....because resentment and anger sets in from both sides.
How far along is she in her degree?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2009, 08:49 AM
 
425 posts, read 777,523 times
Reputation: 205
Default Academic Advisor

Does her school have an advisor designated to work with students with disabilities? If so, perhaps they can help your daughter by meeting with her to clarify her needs, skills etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2009, 11:04 AM
Status: "Welcome to N.C. Set clock back 50 years." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
24,382 posts, read 15,455,896 times
Reputation: 29464
Our daughter is 26, has no disabilities and still had the same issues. We almost came to blows over her refusal to look for a job any other way than punching buttons on her computer after she graduated from college and wasted 2 years of her life avoiding real life. We finally had to exercise tough love by giving her a deadline for paying rent, payments for car and insurance, etc but she still just ignored us. I kicked her out of the house twice for her back talk and sense of entitlement. If she hadn't gotten the job she did I don't know what would have happened.
She finally has a job but her dad got it for her. I think she was and probably is still going thru the longest adolescense in the world. Read, WALKING ON EGGSHELLS a great book about dealing with young adult "children". It helped us alot. I feel your pain asnd I know about the anger and resentment.
Also, this is weird coming from a family extremely into higher education, BUT college isn't for everybody and she just may do better in a vocational school. At 22 the primary focus I think should be getting skills to support herself.
Good Luck.

Last edited by no kudzu; 05-29-2009 at 11:04 AM.. Reason: spelling error
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2009, 03:26 PM
 
222 posts, read 301,737 times
Reputation: 161
My brother has learning disabilities and a four year college was not an option for him. Back in Florida, he had to retake the state exam three times in order to be granted a high school diploma. He went to a junior college, and it was such a blessing. Since he had a diagnosis, he received free tutoring and untimed tests. He did really well. He also had a wonderful counselor who did an assesment of his skills and pointed him the right direction. He ended up on a professional track and now works in a lab where he does great work. He loves what he does and loves that he excels in it. He goes to conferences all over and does demonstrations of his work. He makes good money and has a lot of pride in what he does. He had some real dark years early on while he faced his limitations like a brick wall, but that is long past him now.

Traditional academia is not for everyone. Finding the right fit for your daughter could turn everything around for her. If you can find a good counselor or mentor like my brother did, she might be able to discover her niche in this world too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 12:53 AM
 
Location: Johnston County, NC
439 posts, read 763,707 times
Reputation: 325
hello there. sounds like your going through a lot. if your daughter is autistic or even if not, maybe you can go to Division TEACCH - Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication handicapped CHildren - UNC-CH and contact them to ask for any recommendations and resources to help your daughter.

here is there page on employment supportive services.

TEACCH - Supported Employment (http://www.teacch.com/supportedemployment.html - broken link)

hope this will maybe be a starting point for you if you havent found what you needed yet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-30-2009, 08:47 AM
 
2,970 posts, read 4,216,047 times
Reputation: 1894
Quote:
Originally Posted by RVD26 View Post
What has she been diagnosed with?
I have the same question. I have adhd bad & legitimately (not to say alot of people don't but I do believe it's over diagnosed). I've never taken any meds. There are just certain "execises" I had to do to focus. Like if I'm getting oral instruction I have to write down everything I'm being taught ot else 15 minutes later I'll realize I didn't hear anything the instructor said.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:



Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
Similar Threads
View detailed profiles of:

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top