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The funny thing is, it's the same type of people who live in Cary that live in Raleigh, Apex, Holly Springs and so on.
I beg to differ. I love Raleigh, love everything it has to offer, from the historic homes and buildings, to the downtown restaurants, to the great schools.
I would NEVER live in Cary. It doesn't give me that same sense of vibrancy and comfort that Raleigh does.
But that is me. Other people enjoy other things. But to suggest that the same type of people who enjoy Cary would like Raleigh (I have never lived in Apex or Holly Springs so I cannot speak for those places) really means that anyone who truly believes that sentiment has not investigated either city.
Last edited by kingyouth; 05-30-2009 at 07:40 PM..
Hi there!
I'm a 40ish single mom thinking of moving to Cary from central NY. My ex husband works there 50% of the time and likes it much better than NY. My main goal is to enable my kids to spend more time with dad, but it may be a new leaf for me also.
I'm a school librarian in need of a job, the dating scene here is worse than the job market, and I never did like NY weather from November to April!
I grew up in Fayetteville but I have no knowledge of Cary other than the aspects my ex likes: townhomes and strip malls! I'm looking for a universityesque neighborhood where I can walk to the grocery and library, but still drive to the conveniences. OMG, I would even ride public transit as long as it was safe. My kids need performing arts opportunities, Girl Scouts, good schools, and friendly kids to be around. We are Unitarian Universalists, if that gives you an idea of who we are. I like gardening and hiking and I drive a Subaru Forester! I do not shop at 'the mall'. The style of housing is not as important as the warmth of the community...and I don't want to be owned by a mortgage, or household maintenance. And frankly my housing budget will be limited by what I can sell my current home for---here in NY I paid $160K for a 3 bedroom 1.5 bath with a pool and I'm pretty sure that money will not go as far in Wake Co.
We will need to be convenient to my ex in Morrisville, but I need to build my own life as well.
I went to the Wake County School District website but there is too much info even for a teacher to weed through...lots of details but nothing that tells me what neighborhood I need to be in!
If you have any suggestions about where I can begin my search, I'd appreciate it. I would like to engineer this move (and it does feel like an engineering project) before my oldest enters HS in 2 years.
Hi sswaring,
You have received a lot of advice about finding a place for you and your girls (some of it very good) but one thing I see lacking is the understanding that you're turning over a new leaf for YOURSELF as well by making this move. That's where I'll focus in. The Triangle area is a great place for a fresh start - single or married. For background, my wife and I moved here a year ago after struggling thru 3 yrs in Park Slope - Brooklyn followed by 3 yrs in Long Island (I am a Californian native) and have found our utopia in SW Durham. We are NEVER going back to New York. And we actually fell in love with our neighborhood after I found this very forum online and saw pictures of Woodcroft. Amazing! I was hooked from jump. And there is a Unitarian Universal church on Garrett Rd nearby that I pass everyday. Ok, that's my only push for SW Durham .
My wife and I are still 'newlyweds' (six yrs and counting) and have a weekly date night so we see a bunch of couples starting on that journey. But the most amazing thing is that everyone here generally seems to be happy or at least willing to not try and ruin your day. I actually had a great 5-minute conversation with a perfect stranger at the Southpoint Barnes & Noble this afternoon about a book we both picked up. A breath of fresh air! It may appear that way to me because I spent so much time over the past few years in New York City and Long Island (wow, I guess that amounts to me doing a bit of NY bashing - sorry) but I see a lot of couples and single people engaging with one another and there is always some lively event (cultural affair, sports, arts walk, technical forum) to get lost into. I am sure that there is some guy in the area perfectly matched for you with what, 6 colleges/universities in the Triangle, plus a bunch of us eggheads in RTP, all looking to interact with others with similar backgrounds / interests. Being happy, well adjusted, and so busy with making new friends / finding new hobbies that your ex and his girlfriend have to watch the girls all of the time is the best scenario out of all of this.
Last thing I'll say is that a bunch of people on the forum get very upset from stereotyping (some of it warranted, some of it not) and we frequently have these 'community flame wars' on the forum which are good to read sometimes but one thing Charlton Dude said was right, there is an innate adaptability that most people in the Triangle have that allows them to find something of interest in each community. We live in SW Durham but all of the Triangle is our playground. We brunch in Durham, go fishing up in the Eno River, watch the symphony or bluegrass music at the Boothe Ampitheatre in Cary, go salsa dancing or listen to live jazz in Downtown Raleigh, rock out in some Cuban bar or Texas roadhouse in Morrisville, and spend a lot of time watching sports in Chapel Hill since my wife is on staff there. Our home & neighborhood are great and our sanctuary for our two kids but we aint home that much... there is way too much to do when the ENTIRE Triangle is out there, ready to be explored!
If you need help finding a job affiliated with one of the universities, my wife works at UNC, we have friends on staff at Duke and NCCU, and I know a bunch of profs at NC State. Send me a personal message offlinbe and we can discuss.
I beg to differ. I love Raleigh, love everything it has to offer, from the historic homes and buildings, to the downtown restaurants, to the great schools.
I would NEVER live in Cary. It doesn't give me that same sense of vibrancy and comfort that Raleigh does.
But that is me. Other people enjoy other things. But to suggest that the same type of people who enjoy Cary would like Raleigh (I have never lived in Apex or Holly Springs so I cannot speak for those places) really means that anyone who truly believes that sentiment has not investigated either city.
Newsflash!!!! Raleigh covers a lot of ground, not just downtown (hey, a rhyme ). As I have always stated, I do not feel comfortable in ANY city downtown area, as it is not my thing. I am happy for those that love it there. More power to 'em. However, I have stated that my favorite parts of Raleigh are North and West Raleigh. These parts are very Cary-like. The same people that would buy there would most likely buy in Cary also. See VickiR as an example. She lived in BOTH.
You have received a lot of advice about finding a place for you and your girls (some of it very good) but one thing I see lacking is the understanding that you're turning over a new leaf for YOURSELF as well by making this move. That's where I'll focus in. The Triangle area is a great place for a fresh start - single or married. For background, my wife and I moved here a year ago after struggling thru 3 yrs in Park Slope - Brooklyn followed by 3 yrs in Long Island (I am a Californian native) and have found our utopia in SW Durham. We are NEVER going back to New York. And we actually fell in love with our neighborhood after I found this very forum online and saw pictures of Woodcroft. Amazing! I was hooked from jump. And there is a Unitarian Universal church on Garrett Rd nearby that I pass everyday. Ok, that's my only push for SW Durham .
My wife and I are still 'newlyweds' (six yrs and counting) and have a weekly date night so we see a bunch of couples starting on that journey. But the most amazing thing is that everyone here generally seems to be happy or at least willing to not try and ruin your day. I actually had a great 5-minute conversation with a perfect stranger at the Southpoint Barnes & Noble this afternoon about a book we both picked up. A breath of fresh air! It may appear that way to me because I spent so much time over the past few years in New York City and Long Island (wow, I guess that amounts to me doing a bit of NY bashing - sorry) but I see a lot of couples and single people engaging with one another and there is always some lively event (cultural affair, sports, arts walk, technical forum) to get lost into. I am sure that there is some guy in the area perfectly matched for you with what, 6 colleges/universities in the Triangle, plus a bunch of us eggheads in RTP, all looking to interact with others with similar backgrounds / interests. Being happy, well adjusted, and so busy with making new friends / finding new hobbies that your ex and his girlfriend have to watch the girls all of the time is the best scenario out of all of this.
Last thing I'll say is that a bunch of people on the forum get very upset from stereotyping (some of it warranted, some of it not) and we frequently have these 'community flame wars' on the forum which are good to read sometimes but one thing Charlton Dude said was right, there is an innate adaptability that most people in the Triangle have that allows them to find something of interest in each community. We live in SW Durham but all of the Triangle is our playground. We brunch in Durham, go fishing up in the Eno River, watch the symphony or bluegrass music at the Boothe Ampitheatre in Cary, go salsa dancing or listen to live jazz in Downtown Raleigh, rock out in some Cuban bar or Texas roadhouse in Morrisville, and spend a lot of time watching sports in Chapel Hill since my wife is on staff there. Our home & neighborhood are great and our sanctuary for our two kids but we aint home that much... there is way too much to do when the ENTIRE Triangle is out there, ready to be explored!
If you need help finding a job affiliated with one of the universities, my wife works at UNC, we have friends on staff at Duke and NCCU, and I know a bunch of profs at NC State. Send me a personal message offlinbe and we can discuss.
That's it from me... Good luck!
Great post, smjones75. I am glad that you DID find your utopia here. Some people claim it is not here, but it can be for many people. It's all in what you like. The area you chose in Durham is excellent. That is exactly where we started our fantastic journey. We are on our third town now and it is great living in and learning each town. Some people say everything here is the same and boring. I don't see that. I appreciate each town for what it has. I think every town has its own vibe and flavor. I like that they have their own identity.
Yes, you have hit the nail on the head...I really want them to feel settled in a hurry so although it sounds like you can flex a little bit on what school you go to relative to your location, I don't really want to rent, then move to something permanent. Better for them to enroll at West Cary where dad lives and then have me find a home in that area. Which i guess is why I feel a little locked in to his school district boundaries. Plus, why would I want to move twice? Two years ago I moved around the corner and it was hellishly hard to do on my own. I still have boxes not unpacked sitting around..
I'm starting to identify some goals:
1) unpack, clean out everything I don't want or need.
2)continue progress (finally found a good handyman) on small home improvements that will help with rental or resale.
3) work on NC certification
3.5) work on local job hunt in NY
4) Travel to Cary during late august to vacation/neighborhood search/informational interview with the school district re: jobs.
5) If I Do find gainful employment here for Sept 2009, hunker down for one more year.
6) If I don't find gainful employment here for Sept 2009, rent out my current home (nothing is selling now anyway), move my girls to their dad's house, and rent a place while I start work of some sort down there.
Yes, you have hit the nail on the head...I really want them to feel settled in a hurry so although it sounds like you can flex a little bit on what school you go to relative to your location, I don't really want to rent, then move to something permanent. Better for them to enroll at West Cary where dad lives and then have me find a home in that area. Which i guess is why I feel a little locked in to his school district boundaries. Plus, why would I want to move twice? Two years ago I moved around the corner and it was hellishly hard to do on my own. I still have boxes not unpacked sitting around..
I'm starting to identify some goals:
1) unpack, clean out everything I don't want or need.
2)continue progress (finally found a good handyman) on small home improvements that will help with rental or resale.
3) work on NC certification
3.5) work on local job hunt in NY
4) Travel to Cary during late august to vacation/neighborhood search/informational interview with the school district re: jobs.
5) If I Do find gainful employment here for Sept 2009, hunker down for one more year.
6) If I don't find gainful employment here for Sept 2009, rent out my current home (nothing is selling now anyway), move my girls to their dad's house, and rent a place while I start work of some sort down there.
That is the way to do it. Make the complete list, then put it in the order that each needs to get done. Then from that point, work on the item itself and DO NOT think about the entire process. Trust me, it will go smoothly this way. You will have a feeling of accomplishment with each task, rather than feeling overwhelmed with the entire thing. I am so impressed with what you are trying to do for your family.
I have lived in the Raleigh area most of my life (i'm 35 now) and although I work mostly in and around Cary, I would not recommend Wake County period for anyone with kids. School overcrowding and school district rezoning have become BIG problems in recent years. Johnston county, where I live has not had this problem as of yet. Durham County, Orange County, Chatham County, and Franklin County all border Wake County and most are within a few minutes drive of Cary depending on traffic. Orange County has some of the top rated schools in the area and Johnston County is a close second.
Please do not get worked up over the Wake County School reassignment. I am not trying to start a forum on the pro's and con's of Wake County Schools. It is different here than in NY, but that being said, they are working on a 3 year plan for less movement. But with growth comes change. Also, kids seem to adjust better than parents, so stay calm about it. I came down here without a job (teacher) and I was lucky to find one. THere was a hiring freeze as I said before, but they have lifted it. It is alot of work to move (especially by yourself) but if you have a positive attitude it will be fine. Your girls will benefit from it and it is a really nice quality of life here. Good luck again.
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.
). As I have always stated, I do not feel comfortable in ANY city downtown area, as it is not my thing. I am happy for those that love it there. More power to 'em. However, I have stated that my favorite parts of Raleigh are North and West Raleigh. These parts are very Cary-like. The same people that would buy there would most likely buy in Cary also. See VickiR as an example. She lived in BOTH.
