"Southern hospitality" - yeah right (Raleigh: home, neighborhoods)

[joey2000]

Now granted maybe it's because of all the stinkin Yanks moving down here (oops wait I'm one of em )......but I am not seeing this southern friendliness/charm which allegedly exists here. Not saying people are terrible or anything, but hardly so friendly, at least not in N Raleigh areas that I frequent (or other areas that I can tell, although I am there less often). This has been driven home to me as i have taken up walking around various neighborhoods......I pass many people walking along, and almost never will someone give me so much as a hello or smile. And if I do so first, usually I get back - at most - a barely polite (and rather terse) response/acknowledgement.

Again don't get me wrong, I have certainly met nice people, but generally I have always heard this thing about people in the South being so friendy ie much more than "up North" and I'm not seeing it at all.

Anyone else experience similar, or something very different?

[MrsRhythm]

I have. I live in a walkable neighborhood and some days, everyone waves and says hi, and others, no one does and everyone looks glum or acts terse. Some days it just seems are happier than others and others have a pall upon them, like something is in the air. After getting my feelings hurt a couple of times, I decided I'd try to always smile and speak or wave no matter what - it's got to start somewhere and it's catching. I don't think it has anything to do with north or south. People are the same everywhere, it's just the current environment that's different. I was talking with a friend earlier tonight and we were discussing how pretty much everyone experiences everything at some point: at one point in your life you will be the person who offends, and at another you will be the person who gets offended. One day you will be the Moderator cut: language in traffic in a rush to get home, the next you may be the person who takes it easy and lets everyone in. One day you are a southerner who looks down on "yankees" from up north, the next you are looked down upon as a "yankee" american by someone from a different country. There's always an "other" side to the coin. I also think sometimes we don't know what's going on with other people and should be more tolerant and patient - maybe someone was just diagnosed with a serious illness or received some terrible news - and that's why they didn't do [x] or did do [x]. We can only control our own actions and strive to be better each day.

[TarheelsMatt]

Originally Posted by joey2000

Now granted maybe it's because of all the stinkin Yanks moving down here (oops wait I'm one of em )......but I am not seeing this southern friendliness/charm which allegedly exists here. Not saying people are terrible or anything, but hardly so friendly, at least not in N Raleigh areas that I frequent (or other areas that I can tell, although I am there less often). This has been driven home to me as i have taken up walking around various neighborhoods......I pass many people walking along, and almost never will someone give me so much as a hello or smile. And if I do so first, usually I get back - at most - a barely polite (and rather terse) response/acknowledgement.

Again don't get me wrong, I have certainly met nice people, but generally I have always heard this thing about people in the South being so friendy ie much more than "up North" and I'm not seeing it at all.

Anyone else experience similar, or something very different?

I believe what you think is southern hospitality is different from what people down here actually think. People are all yee-haw polite and stuff, but what we northerners miss is the straight-forwardness in a person. People here talk to you, go out to lunch with you, invite you to dinner or something, but never give you anything in return or vice versa. I get hellos, goodbyes, waves, et cetera, but I don't see the southern oh my god polite, I'd let you sleep here if you wanted effect. I don't know if you get what i'm saying, but i'm finding that people here don't tell you like it is.

[MrsRhythm]

There may be some truth to that. I'm a southerner and was raised that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Short of a place to crash, what more do you expect from people than greetings, talks, lunches, and dinners? (not being snarky, just curious what you mean)

[TarheelsMatt]

I forgot to say that it usually doesnt happen more than once. Like if you do lunch with a close friend, it won't happen for another 3 weeks. I don't know how they can't make room for it, ever. Most friends don't return calls from what i've heard. :x

[MrsRhythm]

Originally Posted by TarheelsMatt

I forgot to say that it usually doesnt happen more than once. Like if you do lunch with a close friend, it won't happen for another 3 weeks. I don't know how they can't make room for it, ever. Most friends don't return calls from what i've heard. :x

Ah I get you. Yeah people do seem a lot busier these days. Maybe Facebook is to blame

[joey2000]

Originally Posted by TarheelsMatt

IPeople here talk to you,

No, they don't. That's more or less my point. They are very much to themselves that I have seen.

[TarheelsMatt]

how hard are you trying to be social?

[Bmateo]

If you live in the sub-burbs, much like the rest of America, it is (well) like the rest of America.

I'm a city boy, but I've lived in country for about 15 years now. Neighbors stop by and bring us veggies, come by if someone is sick, make sure to take care of those that need it, and generally never let another neighbor go in need.

Southern hospitality is live and well out here in the country. I'm a city boy from the north, but I've come to appreciate some good ole southern hospitatlity. (I guess my point is that you can't go looking for "something different" if you're not willing to venture out of "homonizedville"...)

[North_Raleigh_Guy]

I find that people reflect back what you project. That holds true most anywhere.