U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
 [Register]
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary The Triangle Area
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 01-22-2010, 08:24 AM
 
9 posts, read 11,382 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

Hello Everyone, I am a single mother of two children ages 12 and 8 I would like to move out of NY and relocate to Raleigh. I recently visited the area and loved it! I can see myself and children having a much better quality of life there. I know this is all pending on if I can find a job in the area first before I move. I work in the Human Services field. I have no friends and family in NC and I am wondering if this is a wise move to make with no support system. But I cant see staying in NY and struggling to make ends meet either. I want to try and provide the best life I can for my children. My questions are:

Has anyone made this move with their children alone and were you successful?

Is there any support groups/resources for single parents moving to Raleigh?

Advice will be greatly appreciated.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-22-2010, 09:05 AM
 
6,185 posts, read 13,844,098 times
Reputation: 4456
I moved here "alone" with two kids, two dogs, and two birds, 17 years ago. My kids were 12 and 5.

I knew absolutely no one.

I prepared by placing an ad under "Situations Wanted" in the local paper. The clerk taking my ad strongly advised me NOT to do it and said the classification was only for housekeepers. I insisted.

I was a training consultant, and I was fortunate that a fellow training consultant was reading the Sunday paper, and he had been asked by his major client to hire another consultant for a project.

I also sent a letter and resume to all members of the Raleigh chapter of a professional organization. (I was a long-time member of my local chapter.) My efforts resulted in 5 interviews, including one in the training consultant's family room, and the interviews resulted in employment for many years.

HOWEVER, it's a whole new world now, and it's very difficult to find a job in most fields. Raleigh has also grown substantially, and it's an expensive place to live in many ways.

I decided when I moved here that I didn't want to be alone, so I joined the local singles club, invited them all over to my house so I could decide if it was worth going to another meeting. It worked. I didn't have to go to another meeting because I found someone during that meeting. I married a native Raleighite about a year after arriving, and so far, so good.

(A few months later, my ex did move down, with his wife [I sincerely liked her very much], because he was always a good father, and they both always wanted to get away from the snow and cold. So that did help as far as child care.)

I was also glad to have YMCA after-school care available, as I did back home.

As far as support, there are now "mommy" groups and Meetup groups to help you connect with people.

I also found that some friends from back home aren't good "long-distance" friends, and some are. So you can use the phone and computer to continue some friend and relative relationships. With others, you can easily reconnect, as if you never left -- when you go back and visit in person.

Good luck -- but make sure you have a job before you move.

Last edited by lovebrentwood; 01-22-2010 at 09:21 AM..
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2010, 09:47 AM
 
9 posts, read 11,382 times
Reputation: 10
lovebrentwood, thank you for sharing your experience with me. It sounds like it was meant to be for you! I hope I will have similar results and thanks for some ideas on how to meet people. I appreciate it.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2010, 10:01 AM
 
1,162 posts, read 1,843,059 times
Reputation: 354
Now there are all kind of meet-up groups you can join to meat people with similar interests and lives. I even started my own and made wonderful friends. They provide that support system for us.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2010, 04:32 PM
 
6 posts, read 10,770 times
Reputation: 13
What are the sexes of your children? I have two near those ages and I just moved here myself and my kids could use some friends! Lol. Seriously though, there are so many people new to this area with older kids (single parents and with both parents), and I dont know if you are a woman of God but the churches around here are so very welcoming and helpful...they have some really great youth groups, and activities to get involved in...some even have newcomers program because of the high #s of new residents. I think you will be fine here. It's got a little of everything. I moved here from Pittsburgh and am finding it a very friendly place with lots of opportunity for the children. Jobs are another story...good luck with that one. I have been here almost5 months and still havent found anything.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2010, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Southeast US
1,301 posts, read 4,493,282 times
Reputation: 756
I moved here with two dogs and knew no one. I always said back then that if I had a child or two, I would have had an automatic "in"; meaning mommies groups, play dates, and other family oriented groups.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2010, 04:47 PM
 
Location: GOVERNMENT of TRAITORS & NAZIS
20,551 posts, read 22,715,248 times
Reputation: 7625
We have moved several times. Until coming to NC it was mostly within one state. Before we were married, I had lived in COlorado, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Florida and Maryland.

Each time there was no one I knew.

It may have been easier because I did it without children?

But each move was great and I enjoyed it.

My wife and I came to NC with 2 weeks notice. I applied on the state site for teachers and the next day was asked when could I come down..

It has been absolutely great.

There are so many places here that one can fit into with children.

Try looking on craigs list for possible positions as human service jobs are (so they seem) always around.

Not sure which area you would be "qualified" for, also the other job hunting sites might be helpful..

BEST of Luck...
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2010, 05:05 PM
 
9,680 posts, read 23,484,973 times
Reputation: 4122
DO NOT give up a steady job to come here without employment.

Things are not the same here as years before when I came from New Orleans (1989).

The safety net here is full of holes and subsidized housing is not easy to find if you need it while getting established.

Without family to put you up until you get a job, you might wind up at the Raleigh Rescue Mission.

Wait for better times. Good luck.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2010, 05:14 PM
 
30 posts, read 61,699 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by daliteme View Post
Hello Everyone, I am a single mother of two children ages 12 and 8 I would like to move out of NY and relocate to Raleigh. I recently visited the area and loved it! I can see myself and children having a much better quality of life there. I know this is all pending on if I can find a job in the area first before I move. I work in the Human Services field. I have no friends and family in NC and I am wondering if this is a wise move to make with no support system. But I cant see staying in NY and struggling to make ends meet either. I want to try and provide the best life I can for my children. My questions are:

Has anyone made this move with their children alone and were you successful?

Is there any support groups/resources for single parents moving to Raleigh?

Advice will be greatly appreciated.
Hello, I am in the same position. My two are 14 and 10. Any good leads? After reading the posts, do you still want to do it? I know a lot of people tell you not to leave the "job" you have now to come to Raleigh without one. If I keep waiting, I am NEVER going to get out of here! (hometown) I know the nation is in recession, however, I am not because I serve a GOD that will supply ALL of my needs.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2010, 08:35 PM
 
Location: NC
4,529 posts, read 7,035,557 times
Reputation: 4720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nin Tai View Post
Hello, I am in the same position. My two are 14 and 10. Any good leads? After reading the posts, do you still wto do it? I know a lot of people tell you not to leave the "job" you have now to come to Raleigh without one. If I keep waiting, I am NEVER going to get out of here! (hometown) I know the nation is in recession, however, I am not because I serve a GOD that will supply ALL of my needs.
Nin: the reason people advise not to leave a job to come here, they mean you need to be prepared, they are only trying to help. Only you know if you have enough money to live on for perhaps a few months until you find a job. If you do, then you are safe.
But if you do not, you might consider Saturn's post. We do have shelters in this area like Saturn mentioned. And many of them house women who came here unprepared for our economy. I also believe God supplies our needs, and for people who run out of money here, that means a shelter.

I wish you well!
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > North Carolina > Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top