U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Real Estate
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-19-2012, 12:36 PM
 
21 posts, read 28,963 times
Reputation: 51

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big John stud View Post
We have a family of 6 that moved in to a single wide mobile home across from us. Parents are 100% disabled (yet can do yard work, lay sod, pavers, etc). Kids are 6 & 7 year old girls, an autistic 10yr old boy, & a 14 year old boy.
The younger girls used to come over constantly when we are on our porch.
No social graces whatsoever. The girls come over in dresses & sit with there legs wide open. I had to tell them not to sit in front of boys like that. It took a couple times of me & my wife telling them, if they act in certain ways, they can't come over. Their parents must have heard cause they stopped coming over so often.
But, they never miss an opportunity to say hi.
Now, they come to the bottom of the steps & ask politely if they can visit or see the dog.
My 14yr old daughter just got rid of all her childish toys. We thought it would be nice to give them to the girls. They are very poor.
There were tears in their eyes when they saw all the collections of toys my daughter was giving them in one fell swoop. Felt like Christmas.
There are a lot of children out there that just don't have any structure in their lives.
Sometimes they just need someone to be nice to them.
OP, kids will be kids.
We all were at one time.
As I kid I never behaved perfectly but I knew not to bother strangers. I never went onto someones yard or driveway. The only adults I talked to were teachers at school, my friends parents, or adults that my parents knew. There's free after-school programs for at-risk kids and all sorts of opportunities that would keep them from bothering random adults. And when I played outside, it never affected other people: I never screamed at the top of my lungs assaulting peoples eardrums, I didn't block cars from backing up by leaving my toys in their driveway, or block traffic and take my time getting out of the way....all things these neighbor kids do. Maybe because when I was born my parents were 30, college educated, and had stable careers. Seriously, having kids should require a license, we wouldn't have these problems.

I must admit, my ex-girlfriend may have started some of the problems with the kids. She lived with me for a year or so and would hang around my house all day while I was at work/school. When I first got my dog, I think she allowed the neighbor kids to play with her in my backyard. I told her I really disapproved because of liability concerns, etc. but she would tell me I was being mean or whatever. My philosophy is that if "mean" keeps you from getting sued who cares.

Apparently my dog ran out the front door once on my gf's watch and one of the kids caught her, my girlfriend for some reason had promised them some candy but never got around to actually getting them any. In actuality, the kids didn't need to catch her, the dog is easy to lure inside with a treat but the kids kind of jump at the opportunity to catch the dog because I think they expect some kind of reward. This is behavior that you primarily see in third world countries: trying to do stupid favors for tips.

Months later, after we broke up, when I got home and exited my car this girl across the street would scream "WHERE'S MY CANDY!?" Just ****in' rude. Other times whenever she caught me outside she'd scream, scream not even ask civilly just absolutely demanding candy from me. Who taught these kids manners? Oh wait, their mothers were 12 when they were born...so no one. I never promised them the candy but somehow they equated the fact that since she was my girlfriend, I owed them the candy.

The doing stupid favors and expecting tips is another trend...they caught the dog another time and seemed kind of disappointed that all I said was "thank you" and took her inside. Also, whenever it snowed the neighbor kid shows up trying to shovel even though I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself. He quoted me $5, I thought I was being nice when I gave him $6. The next time he offered to do it for $10, so I thought it was kind of higher than before but did it anyways. The next time he wanted $20 and I said I'd do it myself, he actually seemed angry like I owed it to him. A couple weeks ago he comes by with a lawnmower and asks to do the front lawn, not the back, for $20. The front lawn is the size of a postage stamp compared to the back and takes a total of 10 minutes...not worth $20...I told him I was going to handle it myself and he walked off mumbling something.

Yeah so I guess the common opinion here is "it's not okay but I have to put up with it."

I really don't agree that poor behavior should just be tolerated.

I guess the moral is you either have to allow yourself to be walked all over or be the "neighborhood grouch" whom everyone detests.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-19-2012, 03:34 PM
 
2,188 posts, read 2,524,027 times
Reputation: 1610
Quote:
Originally Posted by jckmc222 View Post
Yeah so I guess the common opinion here is "it's not okay but I have to put up with it."

I really don't agree that poor behavior should just be tolerated.

I guess the moral is you either have to allow yourself to be walked all over or be the "neighborhood grouch" whom everyone detests.
That's the thing, you don't have to tolerate it. Move. It doesn't sound like it's just these kids that are bothering you from what you've posted here, you have issues with the entire neighborhood. The whole neighborhood isn't going to change for you. I think there's probably lots of neighborhoods in the USA that I would not enjoy living in, so I don't.

But you've already said you're not moving because you want to live in mom and dad's house rent free, so then yeah you'll have to just tolerate it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Columbus, Ohio
124 posts, read 141,501 times
Reputation: 159
Default Kids With No Boundaries

I had the same problem when I lived in a half-double in a (shall we say) marginal neighborhood. I put up with the usual ring-and-run crap, but where I drew the line was when the kids (boys and girls, varying in age from four to 10) and their friends played on my porch or thought it was a thoroughfare to the sidewalk.

Usually there was no adult supervision, but I got an earful from one parent. One of the kids was calling my daughter names, and I kindly told the child that if he ever called my daughter "fat" again, he would be spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2012, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Gilbert - Val Vista Lakes
6,069 posts, read 12,700,380 times
Reputation: 3810
You have a couple of choices:

  • Move to another area where you will be more comfortable
  • Be a good neighbor and adhere to the neighborhood established customs
From the description this seems to be a neighborhood with some very decent, friendly, sociable people. You are not complaining about drugs, alcohol, shoot outs, kids vandalizing or robbing you.

The kids are being friendly and sociable. You chose to live in the neighborhood and most all neighborhoods have established norms. In this neighborhood it's the norm for kids to be friendly and want to have some social interaction with the neighbors. This neighborhood seems to also rely on neighbors when they need help.

When kids want to pet a dog, that is such a great opportunity to become a "good guy" in their eyes, and they will admire you for that. They will become your friend. In a highly populated neighborhood you want friends; not enemies. The kids will only take a few minutes of your time. It is your opportunity to teach them how to greet and pet your dog. It is your dog's opportunity to learn to interact with other humans.

The neighbor that asked for a ride will certainly return the favor in some manner if you ever need something. And there may come a day, when living in that neighborhood, that you need to ask the neighbor for a favor.

If a kid wants to come in the yard and help, by all means, let them. The child is asking to do something, and learn something constructive. You would be a mentor.

You can be friendly and sociable and enjoy the people in this neighborhood, or you can be the jerk of the neighborhood and be the social outcast and suffer the consequences, whatever they are. It's your choice.

It is much better to be friends with the kids who, if they don't like you, can cause you to be extremely uncomfortable through vandalism.

One caveat
when interacting with the kids:
  • Never touch them, other than to shake hands, or a pat on the back (near the shoulder, not the lower back, which could be misinterpreted).
  • Never say anything to them that could be interpreted as having a sexual overtone.
  • Never allow them into your house without a parent with them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-23-2012, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Gilbert - Val Vista Lakes
6,069 posts, read 12,700,380 times
Reputation: 3810
Quote:
Originally Posted by conusmound View Post
I had the same problem when I lived in a half-double in a (shall we say) marginal neighborhood. I put up with the usual ring-and-run crap, but where I drew the line was when the kids (boys and girls, varying in age from four to 10) and their friends played on my porch or thought it was a thoroughfare to the sidewalk.

Usually there was no adult supervision, but I got an earful from one parent. One of the kids was calling my daughter names, and I kindly told the child that if he ever called my daughter "fat" again, he would be spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
You threatened a child with bodily harm. You shouldn't be surprised that you got an earful from the mother.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Real Estate
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top