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Old 06-07-2012, 09:51 PM
21 posts, read 28,990 times
Reputation: 51


I'm white, 26, and go to college and I live in a predominantly black area close to campus in a house that my family owns. The neighborhood is pretty trashy and full of 19 year old single moms with 4+ kids and people who blast music from their crappy cars with shiny rims. Therefore, I try and keep to myself because I really have nothing in common with the neighbors and no desire to interact with them. The neighborhood is pretty close together space-wise in that my front yard is basically a strip of grass and then the sidewalk so unfortunately I'm visible to everyone and I feel like I'm in a zoo.

However, some of the neighborhood children have just decided to interact with me. It started because I have a dog and when I'm walking her they come up and ask to pet, and I didn't know any better and let them. I didn't really want to but I was kind of on the spot so I relented. I had actually kept walking past trying to ignore the kids but they basically kept saying "hey" until it became obvious I was ignoring them so I acknowledged. I mean, most normal people would understand those cues as "I don't want to talk, leave me alone," but the kids don't get it. Then I look online and see it's just a really bad idea to let kids around your dog or even talk to kids you don't know in general. So I've taken to just trying to completely ignore the kids.

Problem is, they have no boundaries. There's this one kid, some girl probably 7-8 who keeps coming up and talking to me, even when I don't make eye contact or respond. The other day I'm laying mulch and she asks to help, I say "no thanks" and try and ignore and she keeps asking before I say a little firmer "i got it under control no thanks."

They know my dogs name now so theyre calling them whenever I take them out back creating problems if the dog decides to run over.

Today I'm out back grilling trying to mind my own business and the same girl comes up onto my front yard on my property and up to the fence separating it from the back yard and asks me what im doing. I mumbled "grilling" and still saw she wouldnt leave. Then I say "this is private property youre trespassing" and she doesn't get it. I finally said "OK GOODBYE" and she left after that.

So what should I do? I don't want anyone thinking I'm friends with these kids so I've started trying to give them the cold shoulder. I don't know why they're so interested in me but I want them to just leave me alone and give me my peace.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:00 PM
Location: here
24,483 posts, read 28,844,341 times
Reputation: 31077
I think you should teach them how to politely ask if they may pet you dog, and show them the right way to do it. I think you should politely acknowledge their presence, but excuse yourself in a nice way. Modeling good behavior could go a long way with them. They probably don't get it because they've never been taught. In the end it could benefit you if they learn.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:05 PM
32,538 posts, read 29,443,527 times
Reputation: 32248
Well you could make friends and never have to worry about coming home and finding your TV jacked.
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Old 06-07-2012, 10:12 PM
775 posts, read 958,055 times
Reputation: 1425
You could just move. No point in living in a neighborhood that you're too good for.

Last edited by luckynumber4; 06-07-2012 at 10:26 PM..
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Old 06-07-2012, 11:10 PM
12,943 posts, read 19,885,336 times
Reputation: 34075
Wear an Ipod when you're outside working or walking the dog. The kids will see the wires and assume you can't hear them, hopefully.

Then, on Halloween, buy lots of good candy to show you're not such a bad guy. I understand your dilemma, and reluctance to find yourself in an awkward position, but as long as you have to live there you don't want to make enemies.
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Old 06-07-2012, 11:27 PM
4,267 posts, read 5,156,700 times
Reputation: 3579
You are going to have to be very clear and very firm in your boundaries and very persistent. Every time. If they come over you can be polite and say hello but then tell them that you are not looking for company and ask them to move along. They will probably continue to do this and you'll just have to be consistent in your response. I had neighbor boy do this to me before I had kids and it drove me crazy so I can relate. Unfortunately, you'll probably have to move in order to stop it completely.
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:19 AM
14,777 posts, read 34,647,129 times
Reputation: 14281
Being a jerk won't help the situation. All you need is one kid to say "that person was mean to me" and then you'll become the target. I watched it happen to a neighbor of mine in a much nicer area then the one you are talking about. He was constantly being rude to the kids, so they made it their mission in life to have "fun" at his expense. Oddly enough, I've generally been nice to the kids in the neighborhood and I've never suffered any of the pranks that were getting pulled on some of my neighbors; nothing malicious just stupid kid pranks like silly string and "ding dong ditch".

When it comes to the dog, you have a responsibility to the kids and to the dog to control the situation. You can either explain that you don't trust how the dog will react, so you can't let them pet it, or you can show them how to do it properly and explain that they must always ask permission.

On the stopping by thing, be polite but firm. Indulge them in a quick conversation and then explain that you are busy and have things to do and you'll see them around. If you have one kid that is consistently pestering you then I would talk to their parents. Yes, I understand the kind of neighborhood you are in, but chances are the parents won't really like the thought of their kids hanging out at your house either. Tell the parent that you are very busy with school and while the child is always polite and just curious, you don't feel right having them coming over all the time, especially because of the dog.

Unfortunately, moving is probably the only way it will really end.
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:32 AM
239 posts, read 524,688 times
Reputation: 188
Did I seriously just read a post about child neighbors who are too friendly? I fear for humanity.
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Old 06-08-2012, 08:47 AM
Location: IL
2,992 posts, read 4,271,453 times
Reputation: 3071
Sounds like you should live in an apartment or somewhere more rural, as you seem to like more privacy. You seem pretty unhappy, is there a way to move?

Unfortunately, a dog in a neighborhood is a kid magnet...that is how it is on our block. My kids love the neighbors dog (they have adult children), so I stopped over to make sure it was okay to have them take the dog for a walk and the neighbor said, "anytime after 7:30Am when we are home, your kids can come over." Just last weekend she said, "I am so happy, my dog is so loved."

Eventually the kids kids will realize you don't want to socialize, so they will let you alone. It may take a little time, but they don't mean ill, they just don't know better.
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Old 06-08-2012, 09:02 AM
2,624 posts, read 4,131,921 times
Reputation: 1879
OP, you sound like a jerk, especially with your blatant racism.
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