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Old 07-06-2012, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Salem, OR
13,753 posts, read 31,631,381 times
Reputation: 12126

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Why don't you just chat with the police? I know here we can do an address search for complaints. I'd find out if there have been any calls on that house. I'd also run a report for the house you are buying.

The good thing about low IQ people is that they often take simple directions well. So if you say "you can come over and visit with us on Fridays at 3:00 only" they tend to follow that. I don't know. Maybe set aside 15 minutes every week that he can come over and show you things he wants to show you. That way he doesn't just drop by when he feels like it. Clearly his dad isn't helping him to understand personal boundaries so you'll have to help him understand yours.
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Old 07-06-2012, 11:34 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,527,735 times
Reputation: 8514
I'd bail. Take the hit and move on. My husband and I had horrible neighbors with one of our homes we had purchased. If I would have known I would have taken the loss and moved on. Years of stress and then having a hard time unloading the house because the neighbors were nutters. They scared off any potential buyers. I have owned several homes now and our biggest concern about bailing was getting sued. Now that I am older and bit wiser I have yet to see anyone get forced to buy a home or get sued for damages later. I suppose its possible but I seriously doubt the bank on this foreclosed home is going to come after you. More than likely you will lose your deposit. You don't have to make up an excuse. You simply say you got buyers remorse and you want out. The realtor that is representing the bank will notify all the other bidders that the house is back on the market. Just because this guy is slow doesn't mean he isn't dangerous. My cousin owned a house that was on the same block as a halfway house (he had no idea). He heard a noise and caught a guy crawling in the window of his daughter's room. He restrained the guy and called the cops. Not much was done because the guy was "slow". Who knows what his intentions were.

My husband and I did bail on a house a few years ago. It was the first time we ever this. We were new to the area and put a bid on a new home in a new sub. The builder did not disclose that a superfund site was right behind our house. Lucky for us my husband's coworker told us about the toxic chemical accident that had happened years before. We bailed. The builder was pissed and wanted to keep our earnest deposit. We went to court hoping to keep it as we felt justified that we were not told about the situation. Since the super fund site was not technically on our property, we lost. we also lost our money on inspections. A total of around 4k. Honestly, it was worth it. It beats getting cancer.

Good luck OP.
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:36 AM
 
Location: Kailua Kona, HI
3,199 posts, read 10,990,925 times
Reputation: 3379
Quote:
Originally Posted by behindenemylines View Post
How much are good neighbors worth to you? How about safety for your 4 year old and wife? If you are really concerned $2k is a small price to pay. We've had bad neighbors in the past and would have gladly lost $2k to find out before that they were nut cases and be able to find a different neighborhood.

Amen to this. If you are uncomfortable about this neighbor, have your realtor try to find a way to back out legitimately and legally and maybe not lose your earnest money. But if not, I agree that $2K is nothing compared to hating where you live.
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:14 AM
 
22 posts, read 25,487 times
Reputation: 17
I guess I'm trying to reconsider alternatives to backing out still. I think I played too heavily of emphasis on 2k$ deposit : because if the name of the game is hassle for the next 10 years or security of my family, then obviously the loss of a 2k$ deposit doesn't weigh in enough.

If the other weighing factor is I really love this house, I would like to make sure either all options are exhausted prior to backing out or that there's no way of a peaceful balance between us.

I mean, I've only lived in one place where I actually got along with my neighbors (out of 5 houses in my adult life). The favorite place I lived was ironically where my neighbors hated me the most (late teenager on a private mountain in WV w/ a bunch of "mountain folk" - didn't fit into their stereotypical group at all). I mean those neighbors there cut my break lines and slashed my tires on multiple occasions - yet that was by far the best place I've ever lived. So it's not that I'm just going to be moving next to your average "troublesome" or "annoying" neighbors. I could deal with them no problem. This is a whole new breed of problems based on an individual who is of low IQ, potentially unstable, and dangerous (dangerous because they're unpredictable and possibly uncontrollable). However I haven't had enough experience with these kind of people to draw a conclusion on if this situation can be remediated. I imagine each person is so unique at this level it probably is going to be a case by case basis.

I think in the basement there is a higher then normal 4 PCi/l measurement of radon. However its in a non livable space with well and sump thats not covered, plus a partial crawl - so that's to be expected. I'm testing the lowest living level currently (waiting 3 days), if it comes back higher then 4 (which it could) it would be a legitimate way to back out of the contract. Assuming the bank doesn't agree to pay for radon remediation (which they would be stupid not to cough up the 1500 to do it - but knowing banks they would probably be that stupid). Other then that I've talked with my realtor and we've found no other legal reasoning to back out of the contract. Radon is an environmental hazard and is a major problem. Nothing else in the house would qualify. I don't think BOA would take me to court to sue for damages or loss, especially since they asked me to cough over an additional 1k$ of earnest after i made my initial offer. I have another thread going about this house - the previous owner hung himself in it. I asked my realtor about that too and in the state of Ohio theyre not required to disclose anything that is not known to the seller (bank) and is not a material defect. So that also isn't a valid reason to back out.

Even though like I said, I'm currently trying to find ways NOT to back out of the contract. I figured I'd elaborate on my options since a lot of response have been geared towards that. I do appreciate people recommending me not to, I'm actually keeping a tally of everyone polled from various places and am weighing all comments and others experience into this decision - even if i have a personal bias to try to make it work - i'll follow the math and logic. lol.

Thanks for the responses everyone! keep them coming!
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Old 07-07-2012, 08:50 AM
 
14,463 posts, read 16,359,430 times
Reputation: 12910
I think you should buy the home. If there are issues over the next year or two, then you can decide to sell. If you are getting a great deal, you could make a profit when you sell.

You should investigate whether the neighbor owns or is renting and how long they lived there. They could very well move in 1 year or in 6 months, especially if renters. Even folks that own homes move, on average, every 5 years.

For all you know, the adult son is visiting on summer break. Maybe the son stays with his father during the summer and mother other part of the year. Who knows.

You can always get another lock for the screen door so he does not get in.

Put a privacy fence in back yard and keep your family back there for awhile.

You could always say you need to go inside every time you see him outside. Say you have to make a phone call or do whatever. have all family members do this.

the goal is to get him to avoid coming to your home without meanly chasing him away. by avoiding him, being cordial but going inside, etc, he will realize that you arent a buddy that will hang out with him.
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:13 AM
 
3,803 posts, read 4,813,538 times
Reputation: 3464
Quote:
Originally Posted by sware2cod View Post
I think you should buy the home. If there are issues over the next year or two, then you can decide to sell. If you are getting a great deal, you could make a profit when you sell.

You should investigate whether the neighbor owns or is renting and how long they lived there. They could very well move in 1 year or in 6 months, especially if renters. Even folks that own homes move, on average, every 5 years.

For all you know, the adult son is visiting on summer break. Maybe the son stays with his father during the summer and mother other part of the year. Who knows.

You can always get another lock for the screen door so he does not get in.

Put a privacy fence in back yard and keep your family back there for awhile.

You could always say you need to go inside every time you see him outside. Say you have to make a phone call or do whatever. have all family members do this.

the goal is to get him to avoid coming to your home without meanly chasing him away. by avoiding him, being cordial but going inside, etc, he will realize that you arent a buddy that will hang out with him.
i would like to know the circumstances of the hanging---any suspicions of murder---talk to local police,neighbors,etc---but with a little kid--i would bail----once lived next to a "slow" neighbor---made my teens life miserable----had to get a double locked steel door and put special glass over her bedroom windows-----and security screen on back door due to his attempts to get it-----peace of mind and safety are worth the cost of bailing
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Old 07-07-2012, 09:14 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,527,735 times
Reputation: 8514
Quote:
Originally Posted by the.root View Post
I guess I'm trying to reconsider alternatives to backing out still. I think I played too heavily of emphasis on 2k$ deposit : because if the name of the game is hassle for the next 10 years or security of my family, then obviously the loss of a 2k$ deposit doesn't weigh in enough.

If the other weighing factor is I really love this house, I would like to make sure either all options are exhausted prior to backing out or that there's no way of a peaceful balance between us.

I mean, I've only lived in one place where I actually got along with my neighbors (out of 5 houses in my adult life). The favorite place I lived was ironically where my neighbors hated me the most (late teenager on a private mountain in WV w/ a bunch of "mountain folk" - didn't fit into their stereotypical group at all). I mean those neighbors there cut my break lines and slashed my tires on multiple occasions - yet that was by far the best place I've ever lived. So it's not that I'm just going to be moving next to your average "troublesome" or "annoying" neighbors. I could deal with them no problem. This is a whole new breed of problems based on an individual who is of low IQ, potentially unstable, and dangerous (dangerous because they're unpredictable and possibly uncontrollable). However I haven't had enough experience with these kind of people to draw a conclusion on if this situation can be remediated. I imagine each person is so unique at this level it probably is going to be a case by case basis.

I think in the basement there is a higher then normal 4 PCi/l measurement of radon. However its in a non livable space with well and sump thats not covered, plus a partial crawl - so that's to be expected. I'm testing the lowest living level currently (waiting 3 days), if it comes back higher then 4 (which it could) it would be a legitimate way to back out of the contract. Assuming the bank doesn't agree to pay for radon remediation (which they would be stupid not to cough up the 1500 to do it - but knowing banks they would probably be that stupid). Other then that I've talked with my realtor and we've found no other legal reasoning to back out of the contract. Radon is an environmental hazard and is a major problem. Nothing else in the house would qualify. I don't think BOA would take me to court to sue for damages or loss, especially since they asked me to cough over an additional 1k$ of earnest after i made my initial offer. I have another thread going about this house - the previous owner hung himself in it. I asked my realtor about that too and in the state of Ohio theyre not required to disclose anything that is not known to the seller (bank) and is not a material defect. So that also isn't a valid reason to back out.

Even though like I said, I'm currently trying to find ways NOT to back out of the contract. I figured I'd elaborate on my options since a lot of response have been geared towards that. I do appreciate people recommending me not to, I'm actually keeping a tally of everyone polled from various places and am weighing all comments and others experience into this decision - even if i have a personal bias to try to make it work - i'll follow the math and logic. lol.

Thanks for the responses everyone! keep them coming!
Everything you are feeling is understandable. You didnt go through this process to bail. Also considering the loss of money is also understandable. Who wants to throw away 2 grand? My husband and I purchased our 5th house a few years ago. I have been through the process several times obviously and I can tell you, there is no sure fire way of knowing how the neighbors will be. Its not like if you interviewed the neighbors they are going to say, "welcome to the neighborhood and oh by the way, I'm an huge A hole." There are signs you can pick up with experience. This may be a sign.

My aunt was mentally handicapped. She was a complete doll as far as I remember but my mom said before I was born, it was a huge challenge. She and my dad were newly married when my grandparents passed away. So mom started out her marriage taking care of my aunt whom was a handful. My mom said they would go to the store and my aunt would run up and hug people. When my aunt didnt get her way, she would slap people's faces. She said times have changed but back then lots of folks were not so kind to the mentally disabled. This boy could be completely harmless and just wanting to get to know you. He may be devastated by the death of the prior neighbor. Who knows on how it was explained to him. My concern is the access to the handgun whether it was a relic or not. Usually when people have that sort of thing they are avid gun collectors. Sounds like this boy isn't watched very well and in all honesty, its like having a small child with an adult body. He could have a close head injury. That is a whole different ball of wax. In reality, you really don't know what his medical condition is.

Buying a home is emotional. I don't care how many times someone says not to get emotional about it, you do. I can tell you that the love for a home quickly diminishes when what is around the house is a nightmare. Your realtor doesn't want you to bail. He/she has spent time helping you search for a home and did all the legwork. He/she doesn't get paid till the deal closes so keep that mind regarding his or her advice. I have had good realtors and really bad ones. None of them were my friends. You don't need to find a flaw, just buyers remorse and yes, everyone is going to get pissed. The radon issue will need to be addressed and its quite possible the bank will not pay for a system especially if they had a bidding war. Since you have permission to spend time at the home doing repairs, I would spend A LOT more time hanging out there to see how this neighbor is going to be.

ETA: Don't count on if you don't like the neighbors and plan to sell. Not in this market. This is going to be a house you will have for a long time.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:30 AM
 
491 posts, read 1,976,554 times
Reputation: 530
Contact a real estate lawyer for a consultation. Neighborhood nuisance disclosure rules vary state by state. Call the local police to find out whether they've been called out for any disturbances related to the person.
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Lexington, SC
4,281 posts, read 10,313,314 times
Reputation: 3700
Arthur "Boo" Radley comes to mind, but with a small child I would have some major concerns that I would have to alleviate in my mind. Talk to his parents/guardian. Pull police reports on both addresses, etc.
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Old 07-07-2012, 12:02 PM
 
3,404 posts, read 4,147,513 times
Reputation: 2397
This story bothers me. I have a son who is severely autistic and it really sounds to be like this kid could be. Whatever it is he must be developmentally disabled in some way. I can see why you aren't too impressed with his parents. Any one that would allow their disabled child to carry a gun around, loaded or not and go into a strangers house repeatedly isn't a good parent. Besides that, though it could be he is harmless he needs a lot more supervision for his own safety at least. If I am right so far it's pretty easy to guess that the previous owner befriended him and he was allowed to hang out there. So, he's just doing what he has always done because he has no idea that things change now that someone different lives there. I think what I would do if I decided to buy the house is tell his father that coming over to that house seems to upset him greatly because of how his friend died and he has become really upset and agitated more than once. It's the truth and maybe they will watch him more closely.
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