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Old 07-25-2012, 11:25 AM
Location: Barrington
42,006 posts, read 31,800,634 times
Reputation: 14109


Originally Posted by Silverfall View Post
These are both bizarre situations to me.
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Old 07-25-2012, 12:34 PM
1,035 posts, read 1,560,424 times
Reputation: 2155
Thanks Bbronston. I guess it's just one of those hindsight things where if all moves along with no hiccups, it won't really matter how involved or diligent you were because everything turned out fine anyway lol It's only when things don't turn out fine that people look back and wonder what could have been done differently that may have prevented it or at least made you better prepared for it.

I did finally assert myself in a "heart to heart" and explain to my lawyer that I just want to stay informed like a good client and buyer and be taken seriously and he conceded and said he'd get me whatever info I wanted right away. I just don't like being in a position where I feel like I have to keep asking to be taken seriously but it is what it is. It might just be the nature of the deals or of the experiences they've had. At least he seemed receptive.

I had a talk with my agent too and I think he understands how I feel on his end about diminishing what I think or what I want just because it's my first time buying a home. They were never rude to me or anything. Maybe they didn't realize how dismissive they were being and I guess if you've dealt with hundreds of clients, you might fall into a pattern of just breezing along without thinking of the individual.

Not all pros are like that but I can easily see how some pros can get like that. It's really been the only part of this experience so far that I wish had been better but given some of the horror stories I've read here, I'm one of the lucky ones lol And it's something I'll know to put more emphasis on the next time around as far as wanting to be heard and kept in the loop.

Originally Posted by MiamiRob View Post
Cyberphonics has trust issues since he interviewed 6 agents before settling on one which is ok since you have to be comfortable with such a deciscion.
Just a quick note on this, it's not so much trust issues. All of them had great credentials but the first set I spoke to wasn't familiar with the region I wanted to buy in (which they were honest about upfront) and the second set had a lot on their plates, indicating they'd be hard to get hold of. I wanted someone who knew the area and someone I didn't have to wait a month to hear back from.

The agent I ended up going with worked almost exclusively with my region, even lived there, and claimed to be available all the time. When that wasn't the case and a lot of time was passing in between communications and without me being taken to see a single house, I decided to look for another.

Found out while looking for another that agent wasn't around because she started school for a career change and I was in the set of a handful of clients she took on in spite of it and couldn't serve. I didn't hold that against her but it wasn't mentioned to me upfront that she'd just be out of the picture for weeks at a time, which would have been nice.

The one I found after her is the one I'm with now.

Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
Those are the people who don't know what they want.

Before you even think about buying a house, you have to know what you want, where you want to live, and how much you can spend. It's not rocket science.
Agreed. And the responses those people would get to my question of treatment would likely be different because I'm not one of them. You (and another) made a comment that implied I could be the problem solely because of how long it's taken to close on my first home.

The point to my response was that there are any number of reasons why it may take one person longer than another so time isn't a gauge of anything on its own. Every situation is different and I appreciate those who replied acknowledging this and saying they simply can't be sure what's going on because there are so many variables involved.

Is there a rule on message boards that there always be someone whose sole contribution to a thread is to be snarky for no reason? If not, I think you can go now. Thanks to all for your responses and input!
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Old 07-25-2012, 12:39 PM
Location: Columbia, SC
8,861 posts, read 17,468,555 times
Reputation: 6240
FWIW, I think BBRonston's and Accufit both had excellent posts that bear noting.
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Old 07-29-2012, 06:52 PM
Location: Northern Virginia
274 posts, read 575,117 times
Reputation: 94
My previous life involved training, so I remind my clients up front that sometimes I assume that they know what we're talking about (jargon alert), to stop and ask for a better explanation. In any case, I will tell them what the options are, what might happen, and next steps. I also let them know that they'll hear from me at any time that something new happens, sometimes if "nuthin'" is happening and we expected something to happen, etc.

And I'm not known for communicating if I have little to say. So if I have a client on an email search, but he's been searching for quite awhile (and not looking), he's not going to get a warm-fuzzy from me every two weeks. But, again, if he's been looking for awhile he already knows that when he's found something, he's got my full attention.

Sorry it's been a difficult process for you, and I hope it has a happy ending!

Originally Posted by cyberphonics View Post
One, I started the process a year and a half ago. We don't have a huge market in this region that falls within my budget so most of that time was spent either waiting for listings to come up, waiting on underwriters, or waiting on the flaky real estate agent that I got rid of after it became a pattern for her to not be in touch with me for two weeks or more at a time.

It's only been within the last few months when we've really been fully active and any of the finer details have had to be asked with this new set of agents and lawyer. One was a property originally with FHA financing that fell through because of some fishy business with the sellers that couldn't be proven because everyone was a bit lax on documenting things so for the second property, I tightened up on that and asked if we could all be sure to have copies of things in writing. No problem.

Second property fell through on financing close to closing when there were some issues with the taxes having been reported almost $3000 less than they actually were due to some county error they never really explained, which put me over the ratio for my lender to approve the loan so for the next property, I tightened up on that and asked that we try to be sure the taxes are accurate. No problem.

So I'm in the middle of things with a third property now.

All of the above takes up time. It's not like it was a year and a half spent seeing 200 homes with me asking silly questions every five seconds like a little kid high on sugar lol

Two, I don't ask a lot of questions. I did a lot of research before I started the process of looking for a home and have been keeping notes and learning more as we go along. The questions I do ask, I don't ask more than once, I don't ask when they're irrelevant, and I don't ask rudely or in an arrogant or challenging way. I just ask.

For example, this property is subject to the right of first refusal. I asked my lawyer if I could see a copy of the bylaws that will explain how the process works as far as how they've outlined the procedures and the timelines and that sort of thing and that if I couldn't see a copy of it, could he explain a couple of things, like how long they have to decide if they're going to waive their right? That sort of thing.

His answer was like, "Don't worry about things like that, trust me, I've been doing this for years, I doubt they won't waive the right." And I try to assert myself, not in a mean way but just saying, "Oh okay, well, can you still explain to me what the process is so I know how things are supposed to go and what to expect?" Then the answer is, "Look, it's your first time buying a home, I understand being nervous, don't worry about." And it's like that for most (not all) things I ask to see or have explained to me.

Even with the process of looking at homes. We'd be touring a listing and I'd say, "Oh, I like this XYZ!" And my agent would say, "Nah, first time buyers usually prefer ABC" and I'd say, "Oh. I really like this though" and he'd say, "Well, this is your first time buying a home. Trust me, I've been doing this for years and buyers prefer ABC" and I'd just say, "Ok".

These may not be the best examples but the point is that I feel like that's been the tone throughout the entire process and again, not just from these specific people. Everyone I approached throughout this process to consider taking me on as a client or just to ask for advice or whatever has had this same attitude of, "This is your first time so you don't know anything, not even what you want, and we'll tell you what you need to know".

So I'm not saying they're being mean or disrespectful and they've really been great otherwise. Just saying I feel like they're sort of in cruise control, if that makes sense, and that anything I say or ask that contradicts the cookie-cutter first time buyer they've been dealing with all these years, they just dismiss or gloss over it and keep moving so I wondered if it's typical or if I just really have bad luck with the people I'm encountering (or maybe it's regional lol).

Maybe it's just that they have a lot of clients and get sick of going over things or maybe they're not used to a client who actually asks to see things or wants to understand things instead of just signing whatever's put in front of them so it catches them off guard and throws off their routine.

It could be any number of things. I just wondered if real estate pros behave differently when their client is someone who already has a few homes under their belt? Do they take their opinions and concerns more seriously? Just curious what everyone's experience has been on both sides.
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Old 07-29-2012, 07:02 PM
Location: Northern Virginia
274 posts, read 575,117 times
Reputation: 94
I get it, Cyber.

I actually think that my first-time buyers ask fewer questions (maybe because I give them more answers up front), but the ones that are priority are the "what-ifs". So that's when the do-si-do comes out. They're understandably worried that something will go wrong, while some experienced buyers are more brazen about what will go right (they have their challenges as well).

Originally Posted by cyberphonics View Post
Oh no, everything is moving along. The first time it was mentioned, my lawyer said the same thing, "Oh, and they have the right of first refusal but don't worry about that, I'm sure they'll waive that right." And I asked, what happens if they don't? And he said, "Don't worry about it, that almost never happens."

I like to be prepared for things, even if they're not likely to happen, because if I'm one of the lucky ones where it does happen and have to scramble to understand what's going on while it's happening, I feel like any frustration I have will be met with, "Well, it's your fault for not asking about it or familiarizing yourself with the process" just like I see a lot of people respond to posts on here. But I let it go.

Then when me/seller settled on a price and details and the final contracts were drawn up, my lawyer mentioned kind of off hand, "Hmm, this price is a great deal but it's low. I mean, there's a chance the board may exercise their right on this..." Then he started having a convo about it and the last time the board exercised their right a few months ago and I just sat there quietly while they went back and forth.

It was after that I asked what I posted here about if I could see the bylaws to understand the procedure or if he could just explain to me how it's supposed to work. Then he was back to, "Eh, don't worry about it, trust me, it's your first time, it's not gonna happen, xyz".

It's not that I don't trust their experience or knowledge but this is a big decision and I don't want to be a first time buyer whose first home purchase was a "lesson learned" in a negative way because I ended up screwed or caught off guard and got no sympathy from anyone because the blame was all pushed on me for not asking questions.

And if something does happen, the pros involved may feel bad for me, but at the end of the day, I'm just one client in who knows how many and they'll have their roof over their heads. None of them are going to give me money out of their pockets to pay for an unforeseen problem they opted not to mention could come up or let me crash at their place until everything works out lol

So I trust their knowledge but I still need to understand what's going on and be prepared for how things might go wrong. Like I said, it could be any number of reasons and I don't think they're trying to swindle me or anything. I just feel like they don't share my concerns or take my thoughts as seriously as they would if this wasn't my first time buying a property and wondered if any of you have noticed a difference in treatment or regard when buying your third or fourth property or on the other end of it.

There's no "right or wrong" party here. I'm just asking for observations on this difference but I guess the answer is that it just depends.
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