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Old 08-06-2012, 01:23 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,523,566 times
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There always seems to be one person that feels they need to be a buzz kill when you buy a house. A friend of mine recently bought her first house. Its adorable and she has worked very hard to get to homeownership. I was thrilled for her. She called tonight a little emotional as she finally invited her critical mother over to see it. Of course her mother found tons of things wrong. Like the kitchen had to be gutted because its a basic kitchen. The house is spotless, well maintained and just perfect for my friend. I assured my friend the house IS adorable and I looked forward to discussing decorating ideas. She relaxed and seemed excited again. I really felt bad for her because out of most people I know, she has worked the hardest for this.

My husband and I never really consulted family members on our home purchases. Most were kind enough to keep their mouths shut. My MIL could be a buzz kill but she did it in a different way. She would pick out the worst thing in our homes and say she liked it. "Oh, shag carpet. How lovely." Umm ya okay. My very vain MIL would give up eye sight before not having the best of everything. I think the only time I ever really got upset was with our last home purchase. We moved out of state and my mother came down the weekend we closed. It had been a very stressful purchase. Our mortgage company folded mid process, our sellers were impossible and our closing kept changing. We were pretty stressed to the max. It was a constant roller coaster on whether or not the deal would go through.

The day we closed my mom stayed with our son at the rental. I told her once we closed we would call her from the house so she could come over. She said that was great. So we closed and drove over to the house with the intention of my husband and I having a few moments to process the whole thing. When we got to the house my mother and son were already waiting for us. The sign was down from the front yard. My mom decided to just head over to the house before us, take a picture of herself and my son in front of the for sale sign, then took a picture of my son removing the sign off the lawn. It really bothered me she had intruded. I kind of feel like she stole those first few moments. She suggested we could put the sign back into the yard and retake a picture. I let it go. I know she was excited for us but ya..it was a buzz kill.

My sister sold real estate for a little while. She said she dreaded when her first time homebuyers had the parents come along. Deals sometimes were blown because mom and dad didnt like the house and for superficial reasons.

What are your buzz kill stories?
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Old 08-06-2012, 03:07 AM
 
Location: In a state of mind
5,998 posts, read 6,384,299 times
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LOL sorry to laugh at your ordeal FW. My Mother is the reverse. I (used) to take her along when my partner and I were doing deals because she was a retired lawyer and ran my companies office until a few years ago.

I'd be looking at a total gut job of a house. My Mother, the quintessential slumlord, would say, "oh that carpet from 1936 is just lovely." Or, "what do you mean you are going to replace the avocado green/flamingo pink sink from 1967 with stainless."

She finally got too old to take along and my blood pressure dropped 40 points.
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Old 08-06-2012, 06:49 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,916 posts, read 58,068,998 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
What are your buzz kill stories?
Most of them involve an earnest, sincere but naive person who refuses common advice
then being sold into a "cute" property that is overpriced and/or a money pit.

Boy was their buzz ever killed!
Sometimes it took six months or a year to happen... but it sure did.
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Old 08-06-2012, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Lakewood Ranch, FL
5,120 posts, read 7,666,186 times
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I've had the same experience, professionally. There have been a number of times when I had a young buyer who was ready to purchase but then had the parents come in and blow it for no good reason. I'm not a very good "sales person". I don't sell. In fact, many times I tend to view places with a more critical eye than my buyers and I voice my observations. If a parent spots something wrong that I didn't, I'd agree and suggest we move on if it was big enough but, usually, it's just their opinion or disapproval that deflates the young buyer's enthusiasm. And, then there's the father that "knows' more about the market than I do and believes nothing I tell them...
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Old 08-06-2012, 09:38 AM
 
3,404 posts, read 4,146,730 times
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I buy the house I want and decorate it like I want and don't ask for anyone's opinion. Most will volunteer a positive opinion unprompted, but you will get their negative thoughts if you ask.
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Old 08-06-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,233 posts, read 57,419,185 times
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Yes, that's my mom, too. When I showed her my first house before I bought it (parental approval was written in as a contingency, LOL), she said "Couldn't you afford something nicer?" and proclaimed the neighborhood "depressing".

Which was funny, because the neighborhood was very similar to the one she grew up in (small 1 1/2 story houses on long skinny lots, minus the noisy social club and bar across the street at my grandmother's house).

And when I reminded her of all the negative things she said about that house, she blamed my dad (who's no longer here to tell my mom she's full of bean soup and who really liked the house).

What can you do? Mothers are like mountains -- they shall not be moved!
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Old 08-06-2012, 10:02 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,916 posts, read 58,068,998 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
Which was funny, because the neighborhood was very similar to the one she grew up in
(small 1 1/2 story houses on long skinny lots, minus the noisy social club and bar across the street...
You say that like it's a bad thing.
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:55 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,523,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamies View Post
LOL sorry to laugh at your ordeal FW. My Mother is the reverse. I (used) to take her along when my partner and I were doing deals because she was a retired lawyer and ran my companies office until a few years ago.

I'd be looking at a total gut job of a house. My Mother, the quintessential slumlord, would say, "oh that carpet from 1936 is just lovely." Or, "what do you mean you are going to replace the avocado green/flamingo pink sink from 1967 with stainless."

She finally got too old to take along and my blood pressure dropped 40 points.
lol. No worries. In the end, it is amusing really. I just find that lots of people deal with a buzz kill after buying a house. It almost seems to be part of the process. I have bought and sold several houses so I have friends and family ask my opinion. I usually tread carefully. I can usually tell when someone doesnt really want it, they just want me to say something nice. Of course if I see something to be of a problem such as a structural issue etc I will voice my concerns but if the deal is done, well not much can be said then. Most buzz kills say something after closing.
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Old 08-07-2012, 11:02 PM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,091 posts, read 5,517,450 times
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I bought a new-construction twin home back in the 80's. The development was a few years old and I was in the last phase of construction. There was no HOA and no rules, so some of the older parts of the development looked a little mis-moshed since none of the houses had to match. Anyway, after I moved in, I was talking to an old friend who lived nearby. He said, "Oh yeah, we call that the ghetto of (town name)". Lovely. Thanks for that.
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Old 08-07-2012, 11:15 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,523,566 times
Reputation: 8514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avalon08 View Post
I bought a new-construction twin home back in the 80's. The development was a few years old and I was in the last phase of construction. There was no HOA and no rules, so some of the older parts of the development looked a little mis-moshed since none of the houses had to match. Anyway, after I moved in, I was talking to an old friend who lived nearby. He said, "Oh yeah, we call that the ghetto of (town name)". Lovely. Thanks for that.
Dang.
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