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I am in Texas. My 26 year old son and his wife want me to sell my home. My son said I have too many liabilities with my house. He said that I cannot get homeowners insurance until the house is complete and that if someone sued me they would get the house, he pointed out that a tornado, hurricane, or fire could take my home from me, and that I will never be able to finish the house. My son said that my liabilities are out weighing my assets.
The house is sitting on an acre and a half. It is on concrete. It's a two story house with an attached two car garage, has a front porch, big deck in back with steps that wrap around, it has tall ceilings, arched doorways, central air & heat, and is 3156 sq. ft., 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. The County has appraised it at $100 thousand and that is what they are taxing me on.
My husband built the house, but passed away before he got it finished. At the time of my husband's death, two sides of the house had siding, the other two sides had insualted board and housewrap, the roof had tar paper and plywood but no shingles, the septic system had not been installed, and nothing was done inside. I hired contractors to get the house liveable as I was living in it, took all the life insurance to get it to this point.
To finish the outside, I need 3 pieces of siding, trim, paint, ceilings on front porch and back deck, and the eaves need to be closed off. To finish the downstairs, I need paint, baseboards, tile on the bathroom and kitchen walls, closet doors, laundry room doors, kitchen cabinets and countertops, and finished flooring in the master bathroom. Nothing is done upstairs, so everything needs to be done up there.
Things to consider:
I am a disabled widow (55) barely surviving on my husband's SS with Medicare which is a joke as I cannot afford the co-payments.
I am almost to the point where I cannot take care of myself anymore and will need someone to take care of me soon.
I cannot keep up with the housework in such a big house anymore.
If I sell, SS will cut my checks down considerably as I am not supposed to have more than 2k in assets. They don't consider my home an asset as I live here, but if I sell it becomes an asset.
My husband was so excited that we would have something of value to leave our son when we died. I promised my husband on his death bed that when I died our son would get the house. My son says sell that he doesn't care about the house, that his wife can't have children and he has nobody to leave it to. He says he doesn't need the money as he has a six figure income and has more money than he knows what to do with, so the house would be a burden to him because he doesn't know what he would do with it.
My son thinks I should sell while I can still get something for the house, because he says if something happens to the house I will end up with nothing. He wants me to sell and move in with him so he can take care of me. He says he will see to my needs and wants, and when the time comes, he will hire someone to live there and take care of me. He says that I can do whatever I want to with the money from the sell of the house and my SS every month, he doesn't want any money from me. He is already paying for my phone and takes me out to dinner every night. My son is 26 and married, he is too young to be strapped down with having to take care of his mother and support me too.
How much are duplexes near your son? I am starting to see some folks buy a duplex, and have a "caregiver" live in the other side for some reduced rent and checking in on them daily, helping to make meals, etc. Could some sort of hybrid situation like that work for you so you don't feel like you are a burden to your son, but at the same time you are being taken care of?
Location: Mokelumne Hill, CA & El Pescadero, BCS MX.
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I think your son should take some of that 6 figure income and finish the house off for you. that way you can still live there comfortably and when the time comes it will be worth more to whomever buys it.
I think your son should take some of that 6 figure income and finish the house off for you.
that way you can still live there comfortably and when the time comes it will be worth more to whomever buys it.
Whoever (or however) it is paid for the work to finish the house needs to be done before it can be sold.
When that work is complete then everything else in the "problem" column is about resolved.
Focus on getting that work done... have everyone take a deep breath... and then go from there.
I think you have to balance selling it as is and or financing the finishing then deciding shall I live here or sell it and move on.
An alternative idea for thought is son and family move in, he pays for the finishing including a nice, private in-law/family suite for you and he cannot sell it without your permission. You pay him nothing and it is yours for the rest of your life. Many people are doing this even when the house is fine as in they add on for such.
Get homeowners or construction insurance as some carriers call it. My new construction insurance is similarly priced to actual homeowners.
It may be hard to sell for anything near value if it's half done. You can always gift the house to your son to collect more in SS. Talk to an accountant.
My initial thought is that if your son can live in a bigger, nicer house with you that his father mostly made, why not?
So, what you are all saying is that I can't sell the house until it is complete? Well, it's never going to be complete, so I'll just have to hope that nothing will destroy my house then.
My son will not move in with me as I am too far out from Town (an hour's drive) he works in Town and has to be near his job.
So, what you are all saying is that I can't sell the house until it is complete? Well, it's never going to be complete, so I'll just have to hope that nothing will destroy my house then.
My son will not move in with me as I am too far out from Town (an hour's drive) he works in Town and has to be near his job.
Thank you everyone for your input!
Jeanette
Jeanette, first of all, my condolences on the loss of your husband. I feel so bad for you, dealing with the death of your husband and now having to make such a huge decision, especially when it meant so much to him.
One question -- you are allowed to be living in the house while it's unfinished? (Certificate of Occupancy?)
So, what do you mean when you say it will never be complete? It doesn't sound like you have much of a choice -- you can't afford to pay for the amount of work needed to complete the house, and you can't get insurance while the house is unfinished. And you can't take care of the house (and yourself) anyway. So it sounds like your son is just looking at the reality of the situation and wanting to help his Mom. Yes, he's young, but you need help, and he sounds like a good son!
What is this about an asset limit for receiving Social Security? I only knew about an asset limit for Medicaid....but admittedly, I don't know much about it. Does your son have an accountant you could speak to about it?
If your son is the only family you have and he has a solid income he ought to be fully involved in the decisions about any assets you have. It is true that homes that are the least bit unfinished in terms of exterior and similar weather-tightness construction issues will NOT attract any buyers willing to pay a fair price. It would be foolish to try to sell a home in such condition.
In a perfect world your son would help pay for costs to get the home in "ready to sell condition". Anything left over from the sale of the home should be used to buy you a new place to live closer to him. You need to budget for quite a long life if you are 55 and not suffering from illness that will shorten your life. If you need a care giver you need to think about how much that will cost and how to pay for that.
I know your situation is NOT UNCOMMON AT ALL. There are MANY folks that have tried to "pass something on to their kids" but the reality of not having some cushy pension and needing to get help for health issues makes that increasing difficult. I am sure your husband would not want to see you "hang on"'to some pile of lumber in a vain attempt to "pass something on" if you really need help with your day-to-day health issues.
A realistic plan for getting the house ready to sell should be a first step. Once you have that plan you ought to plan for your long term health needs. Your son ought to want to do everything he can for helping him have the background to have a good career and family. Talk in realistic numbers.mget advice from local real estate agents and investigate reliable health care companies.
I wish you the best of luck.
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