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As fate would have it, our intended babysitter (grandpa) has just unexpectedly had a surgery this morning. I will be unable to travel now.
I will take all your wonderful distance suggestions to heart and trust my husband. We are 99% in agreement, except my #1 is his #2, and vice-versa. So be it.
And no, unfortunately 450k does not by a dream house here, a modest 1200 sq ft family home at most. We are not in the USA where some states have mansions at that price. I wish! Thanks for the help.
If both of you traveling to look at houses is out of the question, look online at houses together and when he visits them, have him facetime you (or an app similar) while he is walking through the house.
Your question has little to do with housing and everything to do with marriage.
And there it is, the entire crux of the thread, in a nutshell.
Trust and teamwork.
I would buy a house without my wife seeing it without worry of being second-guessed.
But, I would not be burdened with locating the "absolute dream perfect" house. And I would be wise enough to dial into my perceptions of her sensibilities, rather than ignoring them just so I could have a man cave.
And, I would communicate choices to her in the process, with photos, videos, and play by play.
She would not be there, but her voice would be involved.
A year ago, I did just this! My husband was deployed and I had to fly across the country and find a house in less than 48 hours alone. STRESS! I narrowed it down to 5 houses prior based on months and months of research. What helped my husband was taking a walking video of the property. I videoed the neighborhood, schools, ect. If you trust your husband and feel like you already love a house and just need him to confirm it is what you think it is, it can work. If you are all over the place and don't have a few narrowed down, you may want to make that trip. We've been in our house, happily, for almost a year. It was crazy but the only choice we had. Whatever you do, find an agent you TRUST and who will be 100% available during your time in town.
If you don't go, I'd change that "forever" house dream to "maybe forever." You might be able to deal with something that's less than your ideal for 4 or 5 years and then look for your "forever."
I will take all your wonderful distance suggestions to heart and trust my husband. We are 99% in agreement, except my #1 is his #2, and vice-versa. So be it.
That's probably a compromise both of you can live with, seeing that no house is perfect anyway. Good luck, and I hope Grandpa is on his way to recovery.
We did this. Every time I looked at a house I sent her pictures, and several times she saw them and said "no." When I finally found one that she liked, she flew in to look at it in person. My offer was contingent upon her approval upon a tour, in addition to the usual inspections.
>"Plus if you have smart phones he can start a video or takes numerous photos and send them to you."
Heh, apparently all the posters here missed the thread about objections to taking photos in homes. Quite a number of commenters were opposed to the very idea of prospective buyers taking any photos at all inside their homes for sale.
The exact "long distance / only one spouse can travel" situation of this thread was raised, and the response was that back in the good old days people used to do just fine without photos or video. The husband takes a clipper ship around the Horn, looks at properties, hands over a pile of gold dust, then writes out the new address with a quill and ink, sends it home by Pony Express. The obedient little wife loads up the Conestoga wagon, meets hubby in St. Louis, and then hopes the Indians don't attack.
>"Plus if you have smart phones he can start a video or takes numerous photos and send them to you."
Heh, apparently all the posters here missed the thread about objections to taking photos in homes. Quite a number of commenters were opposed to the very idea of prospective buyers taking any photos at all inside their homes for sale.
The exact "long distance / only one spouse can travel" situation of this thread was raised, and the response was that back in the good old days people used to do just fine without photos or video. The husband takes a clipper ship around the Horn, looks at properties, hands over a pile of gold dust, then writes out the new address with a quill and ink, sends it home by Pony Express. The obedient little wife loads up the Conestoga wagon, meets hubby in St. Louis, and then hopes the Indians don't attack.
The general consensus was that it is rude to take pictures of a house for sale and that express permission needed to be obtained before snapping pictures.
I thought this was overblown and that taking pictures is an expected and necessary part of house buying that has become so commonplace that asking for permission would be akin to asking if you could open a closet to look in it. The number of people who responded that "MLS pictures and written notes should be enough" was astounding.
Thanks to all who offered advice on my thread "selling a house when you have kids", we have just sold our house in a teribble market partly in thanks to all that help.
In a few weeks, my spouse will be spending a week house hunting and will make a purchase that same week as part of emoyment relocation. My question is-
Would you let spouse do this without being present OR would you travel 4am-2am straight (2x 5 hour flights), attend 2nd viewings only, all within 24 hours?
I cannot be away longer than that so I'm not sure what to do. Cost is not an issue, my concern is whether it would be if it was a better alternative to nothing.this is supposed to be our " forever house" so I am nervous plus it is a 450k purchase.
My husband was unable to get away from work to look for our retirement dream home. We had been to Asheville many times so he knew the area. We agreed on a list of must haves. I had a great agent,who had been recommended to me by close friends. Because she knew the area and available homes it only took two days to find our perfect place. I made the offer and negotiated the deal. All through the process I was in contact with my husband, through texting photos and videos of the homes. Also he was able to see the homes on satellite view/Birds eye view/street view.
This was in March. My husband is now retired, he loves our new home. He did not see the home until the walkthrough on the day we closed. He says that he wasn't worried about it in the least. Our tastes are so similar
after 42 years of marriage. I'm not sure that this would have worked the same way if it had been 31yrs ago when we bought our last house.
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i did exactlly that
