Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We planned a relocation to South Carolina from MA for many years. Lots of research went into it. I did not like it when I arrived here , it is a very different place than MA and not at all like we had thought it would be , especially the community we are in. I came alone my husband stayed in MA so it was very difficult to get him to understand and he had his heart set on moving to warmer weather and what he thought would be a better life for us. He also felt that being at a distance my change of heart had more to do with being alone down here than truly not liking it. Anyway even when my children arrived it did not get better because this was not the right place for us. Against my better judgement we bought the house, he wanted it so badly I thought I was doing the right thing and that it would work out when he arrived. It took me all till the end of Aug to convince him that we don't belong here and it was a mistake. My children are extremely unhappy as well. My husband agreed but asked that we look into other places down South , again his heart was set on warmer weather. This was his dream. That is where Wilmington NC came in. I agreed to look and we did. It is very nice there and if we had gone there to begin with it might have worked out. I am terrified to make another made relocation choice and we have now agreed to go home where we have been happy and where we KNOW it will work. My husband has been at his same place of employment for over 20 years and I have been a RN for 16 years doing the same work for almost 10 of those years. We are not unstable unbalanced people. Just people who thought chasing a dream might work out and it did not for us.
It sounds like the issue isn't the home, but the move itself. According to you, the move was based on what your husband wanted, not the rest of the family. If you planned the move for 5 years, aren't you rushing too much to leave without giving SC a chance? It has a lot to offer; if you hang in there until spring, which is a better time to sell anyway, you may find you really warm up to it. My MIL has lived in Charleston 20 years and chose Charleston to get away from the colder climes of the north. The South is very different from the North in a lot of ways, but that doesn't make it a bad place to live. But if you ultimately choose to move back to MA for sure, being patient will net you more money. Selling in the spring is a better time. RE moves better in warmer weather, regardless of area.
Charleston is a pretty place. If going back to MA is your choice, by all means go for it, but patience is a virtue as they say, and you certainly don't want to lose a ton of money just because of homesickness. I do think you hasn't given SC enough of a chance, and rushing into a move back to MA may end up causing a lot of regrets, both financial and in other ways.
Fact: A lot of sellers think lowering the commission gets them more money.
What they don't seam to realize is, when you lower the commission what really happen, is it turns off selling agents, and they don't even make an effort to sell the house.
Fact: The agent than sells the home, will not be from the listing office. Buyers are being told, to have their own buyers agent, and do not buy from the listing office especially not to buy through the listing agent.
A commission is split 4 ways. 1/4 to the listing agents office to pay office overhead and make the broker a profit. 1/4 to the listing agent. 1/4 to the selling agents office. 1/4 to the selling agent.
If a home sells for $400,000 each will earn $6,000 at 6% commission. At a 5% commission each will earn $5,000. At 4% commission each earns $4,000. Agents take this in consideration, and it greatly influences which homes they will even bother to show. No showings, no sale. There will be other homes that the agent can show, and get a full commission.
Median income for all Realtors per the National Association Of Realtors selling single family homes, was $45,800 in 2014, down from $47,700 in 2013.
This is gross, and most will spend about 1/3rd of that in expenses per year, and leaves them with about $30,000 per year net take home spendable. Not a very high income profession for all but the top 5% who make great money.
So the amount of commission is very important to them, and they only work the listings with a normal commission, not the cut rates a lot of owners want to pay. Cutting the commission 1%, may very well be the reason your home has not sold, as it definitely is getting a lot less showings.
I was a commercial/investment broker from 1972 till I finally retired. As I did not specialize in selling homes, I always relied on other offices to sell my own homes. Instead of asking for a cut rate commission, I would offer a bonus to the selling office on the condition they pay it to the selling agent (buyers agent) if it was a full price offer. After I retired, I would make up 3 brochures on the house for every agent in the area. One on the house, and one on the bonus. The third one, was a notice I would not be selling my home myself, but would list the house on a one party listing and the selling office got both the listing and sellers commission. My homes sold very quickly. I have bought homes at a real low price, and turn around placed them back on the market selling my method. I always made a real nice profit, and my money was not tied up very long. An agent would bring me a contract for one party, and if they sold it they would get the listing and the sale, and a bonus. This way I could not cheat them out of a commission.
If you have a home that is not selling, try my method of getting it sold, and you will get it sold fast. No home ever lasted more than a week, except one time for very hard to sell home it took 3 weeks. Without doing it my way, that home may still have been on sale.
Fact: 5% of agents make a very high professional living. 80% of homes are sold by 20% of the agents. That top 20% of the agents do very well. The rest just get by, or flunk out of the business as they go broke.
Remember: Agents use the amount of commission to determine which homes they show and which ones they sell. It is the same if they are selling a $50,000 cottage or a Million Dollar property. If an owner wants to cut their income by cutting the commission, they just sell another home that makes them a full commission.
These are the facts of the real estate business. Imagine you work for a company in a nice office, earning $5,000 per week. Your boss comes in some morning and says we are only going to pay you $4,000 this week and will repeat doing it every month or so. I know from what posters post, that would start a big exodus as employees would be looking for another job. That is the same notice you give agents, when you offer a cut rate commission.
I'm curious if that is really true in today's market to the extent that you are suggesting? I remember my parents house shopping and yes, their agent would sow up with a list of homes that the agent had selected to show them. But I have bought several times in the last couple years (homes to live in and rental properties) and all cases - my husband and I have been the ones to suggest which we wanted to look at. I'll find a place on the MLS I'm interested in, shoot the agent a text and she'll let me know when we can meet at the property to take a look.
I think a lot of this is about perspective. It's ok if you move back, some people don't like new areas. But you can make the best of it while you're there.
Think of it this way: if you can wait until spring, you'll make more money in the home sale (home appreciation and more buyers). It's warmer there, so no shoveling snow either.
It's like you're getting paid to not shovel snow this winter! And turn it into a vacation, explore the area and what it has to offer before you go back home. Less of a wasted experience that way.
looking for some insight and or ideas.......
We sold our home in MA in May. ( big mistake)
bought a home in Summerville SC and closed on it July 8. We paid $405k our mortgage is $372. 45 days later we put the house back on the market. It was a huge mistake to relocate and we are going back home.
We have had the house on the market since Aug 21, no offers , very few showings. We have reduced the price to less than we paid. We can't reduce much more or we are going to have to bring money to closing. Should we pull the listing from the realtor and try to sell ourselves? If we didn't have to pay commission we could afford to drop enough to prob sell quickly. We are going back to MA the end of Oct so we are running out of time. Any thoughts?
45 days? You are going to be bringing money to the closing. Sorry to have to inform you. I suggest you lower the price and take your lumps. It isn't going to get better, unless the home is dated or in need of a freshening up and you can do that work yourself to make it a better property than when you bought it. I hate to tell you, but you are going to be out at least $20K with all the taxes and move, etc. Lesson learned. Should have rented first.
We planned a relocation to South Carolina from MA for many years. Lots of research went into it. I did not like it when I arrived here , it is a very different place than MA and not at all like we had thought it would be , especially the community we are in. I came alone my husband stayed in MA so it was very difficult to get him to understand and he had his heart set on moving to warmer weather and what he thought would be a better life for us. He also felt that being at a distance my change of heart had more to do with being alone down here than truly not liking it. Anyway even when my children arrived it did not get better because this was not the right place for us. Against my better judgement we bought the house, he wanted it so badly I thought I was doing the right thing and that it would work out when he arrived. It took me all till the end of Aug to convince him that we don't belong here and it was a mistake. My children are extremely unhappy as well. My husband agreed but asked that we look into other places down South , again his heart was set on warmer weather. This was his dream. That is where Wilmington NC came in. I agreed to look and we did. It is very nice there and if we had gone there to begin with it might have worked out. I am terrified to make another made relocation choice and we have now agreed to go home where we have been happy and where we KNOW it will work. My husband has been at his same place of employment for over 20 years and I have been a RN for 16 years doing the same work for almost 10 of those years. We are not unstable unbalanced people. Just people who thought chasing a dream might work out and it did not for us.
Moderator cut: personal remarks
I'll just shake my head. I have no advice. My mom followed her husband to a new state and basically ruined all us kids' education as a result. Just like you are writing, it was not like she had thought, and she had to take a pay cut and got a big setback in her career.
I'm SO GLAD I'm single. If they are married, do many women feel they have to give in when the man wants to do something? Are you afraid he would have just left by himself and left you in MA? So you decided to leave your decent job and happy home and basically screw up your and the kids lives? Best of luck. But I don't see how this is going to work out well.
I also agree with others. You have already uprooted your children (sorry I'm bitter) and yourself to make your man happy. OK so now uproot the KIDS AGAIN? God that is so unfair, and makes me so angry. They're probably still trying to get used to the first big change. And it doesn't seem like they'll be able to have their life back home, since you SOLD THE HOUSE.
Kids need stability. Don't make another RASH (yes this was rash...nobody in their right mind overpays this much for a house in the South...with a pool...for a lower salary...when they are already having second thoughts and have DEPENDENT CHILDREN) decision. You are rushing now, and I understand you seem upset, but it is crazy to sell a house and MOVE JOBS just because you are not super happy or traffic is bad.
Something else must be going on? Is the husband cheating on you or something? Is there some other reason he was so gung ho to get away from MA even though you guys had kids? How on earth did you end up buying THE MOST EXPENSIVE house on the market in SC, and why on earth do you think you can flip it now? I hope you're a troll, because this sounds crazy. I'm sorry for the kids.
I feel for the OP, but I do think a lot of it is homesickness.
We moved from NC to Seattle in 2012. Up until this spring all I could think about was moving back. I hated the weather (still do), hated the culture (still not a fan), hated the traffic, and it's very expensive to live here. All I could think about was my huge home back in NC (now sold), and our old life.
BUT after 3 years I've come to realize that our lives are here. My children have friends, my husband has a great job, and we're doing ok. I still miss NC, but I know I can never "go back." I think we look back wistfully on certain times in our lives and think if we can "recreate the past" that we will be happy again. But it doesn't work that way. Kids grow up, we grow older, and we cannot turn back time. Life evolves, and we have to evolve with it. Nothing ever stays the same.
I always feel like the reasons for making the move give you the biggest clues as to why you should give SC another try. It reminds me of a saying, "Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted." You are where you are for a reason, explore that. You disliked MA enough to make the move, reconsider your reasons for leaving, and you may find the reasons to stay.
As someone who just made a cross-country move 15 months ago with three school aged kids in tow (from South FL to Minnesota); it wasn't instantaneous but we LOVE it here now. While we miss our friends and family, we've made the most of this fresh start-- and our kids are all now very happy and settled-- and this feels like home for them (contrast that to when we first moved and my tweenager wouldn't even speak to me for four months-- other than to growl in my general direction-- because she was so angry that we had moved)
I would say, give it a try-- happiness, to a large extent, is a choice (I know that it doesn't always seem that way, but it is-- as long as you have your family with you, you can make the best of anything). It takes more than a few months to get your bearings; perhaps give it until spring before heading back to MA? Especially as compounding an emotional mistake with a financial hit may not be the best idea.
As far as the financial side, if need be, consider picking up some home care or per diem work to supplement your income, but if you can power through the next few months, you will likely be in a better position to sell-- and you might even find that you won't want to do so.
That would be the stupidest move the OP could do. She already has cut the commission, which is reducing the chances of selling the home a tremendous amount. Remember the listing office, will almost never be the selling office, as buyers want a buyers agent, to represent them.
When the commission was reduced by 1%, means that instead of each party from the listing agent, to the listing office, to the selling agent, and the selling office, each getting 1.25% commission instead of standard in the are of 1.5%. On a $400,000 home that means each went from $6,000 to a $5,000 commission. Now you want to cut it to $4,000 or less commission. Average real estate agent makes about $30,000 net annual income after all expenses. Agents are not bothering showing the house now, due to the lower commission, so cut it again and forget about selling it.
If you really want to sell the home, you have to get the selling agents around town attention. Price it at it's current value and offer a bonus to the selling office on the condition the office gives it to the person that sells it. That is what gets a home sold. Cutting commission is turning off the potential buyers agents, a bonus makes sure
i.
I have 100% control over what my clients see. I'm not showing them a house with reduced commission unless they specifically ask to see it.
Lowering commission doesn't work like that. The two agencies don't split the lowered commission. The agent cannot speak for other agencies and only lowered her agency's cut.
Why did you move before your husband was able to retire or switch jobs? I have so many questions about all of this. You are performing most of the duties of a single parent in a brand new area - no wonder first impressions weren't great. Where is your husband living now and how is that being paid for? I just feel like there are a lot of holes in this story - the one person whose dream it was to move to warmer climates is the one person who didn't move. Also, if I was really dead-set against purchasing a house or selling my current house, no way is my husband going to get me to sign the necessary papers until we had talked it through and worked it out.
I'm really not trying to be critical, but so much of this situation genuinely confuses me.
If you can hang on until the spring, try to do so. A lot of this sounds like homesickness, particularly if you've never lived outside of MA before - it's a culture shock. Also, your kids are definitely picking up on your unhappiness. The area can't be entirely awful - isn't there anything you like about it?
If you CAN'T hang on until the spring, then I think you're going to have to dip into those savings and sell the house at a loss. Kids are back in school and it's the start of the slow season in most places. Best of luck to you.
Note to anyone looking to move: This is also why it's usually not a great idea to buy a house as soon as you move to a new and unfamiliar place. Rent for awhile, get to know the area first.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
