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I don't see the big deal if it's a multi family home. I know quite a few families who have done it and it works out fine.
If they or you eventually have to move, you can rent the open unit.
My aunts own a 3 family building in Queens together and it allowed them to get into a nicer neighborhood than if they got 3 sfh.
My brother and SIL wanted me to get one with them but we couldn't find one that was big enough for them and not too big for me.
I guess it really depends on the market by you. If you're really not into it and can afford to buy a sfh, then do it. If you're worried about being screwed, there might be a way to sell each unit. I've seen people who only own one side of a duplex. You can possibly get the 2 family unit, find out the value of theirs and have them buy it. I'm not sure how it works, though.
This isn't about letting extended family live under the same roof, this is about family partnership in purchasing a property. One person wants to redo the kitchen, the other doesn't want to spend the money. How is it resolved? I wouldn't want to mix family and business in that way.
She said it's multi family, that means that you have your own everything. If you want to redo your kitchen, the other unit isn't involved.
Op hasn't stated if in-laws would be contributing to down payment, making payments towards the mortgage, etc. She did state that inlaws don't want a mortgage so I'm assuming they would not have their names on the loan??
Op, if in-laws are in the 50's you and your DH must be younger. I see good and bad here.
Good:
You can afford a home quicker.
Help close by.
Potential babysitter when you have kids.
Bad:
In-laws always in your business.
No privacy.
Potential conflict when it comes to the home.
What if one party wants to move down the road?
Do you want to live with your in-laws? For me, I'd rather live in a burned our Yugo than with my in-laws. There's only about a million ways this could go bad.
Ever watch Everybody Loves Raymond? Need I say more?
I think it's sad how many people would absolutely not consider letting their extended family live under the same roof. We expect other people to take care of our children for us when they are young, and take care of our parents for us when they're old. And yet, even with those burdens removed from us and taken care of by others so we can live our lives supposedly unhindered and free, we still have the highest depression, drug use, and divorce rates in the world.
The problem is we've stopped having to compromise, work it out, or get along with anyone. I think if you really look at the oldest cultures throughout most of the world, they don't think this way. Multi-generational households are normal, and cooperative through most of history. People work through problems together and take care of their own family. Too soon to tell how long this selfish society will endure, but I think there is at least something to be learned from cultures that truly value family over self.
Don't be so quick to judge! Many of us did not grow up with great families. Donna Reed was a tv show. Nothing more. There are all kinds of family dynamics to deal with. Not everyone gets along and that's ok.
My parents PAID for daycare when I was young. They didn't have someone in the family to watch me. They will need to PAY for their care when their elderly and need it. I'm not a nurse. Nor do I want to be one. My mother already has numerous health issues and flat out refuses to follow medical advice. Why would I torture myself with that mess? And I grew up in an extremely abusive home. If my parents house burned down tonight, I'd set off fireworks and roast marshmallows over the flames!
I think it's sad how many people would absolutely not consider letting their extended family live under the same roof. We expect other people to take care of our children for us when they are young, and take care of our parents for us when they're old. And yet, even with those burdens removed from us and taken care of by others so we can live our lives supposedly unhindered and free, we still have the highest depression, drug use, and divorce rates in the world.
The problem is we've stopped having to compromise, work it out, or get along with anyone. I think if you really look at the oldest cultures throughout most of the world, they don't think this way. Multi-generational households are normal, and cooperative through most of history. People work through problems together and take care of their own family. Too soon to tell how long this selfish society will endure, but I think there is at least something to be learned from cultures that truly value family over self.
Do you want to live with your in-laws? For me, I'd rather live in a burned our Yugo than with my in-laws. There's only about a million ways this could go bad.
Ever watch Everybody Loves Raymond? Need I say more?
LOL, I agree!!
I lived in my in-laws basement for 5 months while our home was being built. It was literally the WORST five months of my life! I had ZERO privacy and was treated like I was 10. I seriously would never do that again! I appreciated the fact that they let us stay there, but I liked my in-laws before that and it has never been the same since.
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