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I also blame the realtors for this. There is no need to give feedback to the seller unless it is something constructive. As in, something they can do about it. Telling the seller that the buyer didn't like the home because they want a three car garage and you only have a two isn't helpful. The seller isn't going to add a 3rd garage, and the buyer's realtor is an idiot for showing them a home that didn't have their basic requirements.
Most people can't think abstractly. They walk into a home, and if they don't like the color of the walls, they can't imagine what it would look like with the color they want. They don't like the house and walk out, which is why everyone is told to paint the walls a neutral color. Because those colors are safe. It is the same reason a house needs to be staged, because people can't walk into a master bedroom and imagine a bed in there and that it is really a bedroom. They make everyone go through the expense of staging the house.
"Oh, dear, there is a small room they said is a den, but we need a room for the baby. There's a freaking desk in there. We need a house that has a baby room".
Ok, I skimmed the whole thread and wanted to expand on my previous comment which sounds kind of harsh
For a lot of sellers, moving is a huge emotional process. Sometimes it's about coming to terms with aging, letting your house go to move into somewhere smaller and more manageable. There could a divorce involved, a death, financial issues, a disability. Even a relocation can cause a lot of emotional upset. When it's a happy move (moving to a bigger house, a desirable town etc) people seem to detach much more quickly from their current property.
The problems happen when sellers conflate these "big feelings" with the actual sale of the physical property. To be honest, on our househunt last year, there were quite a few "sellers" who should have done some sessions with a therapist first to unpack their emotional baggage before putting their house on the market.
I have a saying..."It's on the market but it's not for sale" These are the houses that sit for two years on the market before the sellers finally lower their price to a reasonable point. These are people working through the "big feelings."
However, it's not the job of prospective buyers to help a seller along this journey.
In an ideal world, sellers would have the resources to be able to completely move out and make their next move before putting their current home on the market. That would probably be the healthiest option but that is unlikely to happen for most folks.
As predicted this is certainly an unpopular view point!
Maybe my realtor and I can start a blog about the role of objectivity in selling as house. Or buying one. I will be sure to post a link so everyone can complain bitterly.
If your point of view was actually objective, maybe it would be. But it's not - you have the flawed premise that the way you operate is somehow objectively correct and therefore anyone different from you is wrong. But your point of view is subjective, just like everyone else's.
And no, I'm not being personally sensitive, because when I sold my last house, I did all the "right" things according to you, and went from listing to closing in 34 days.
I just think that you criticism of people under the guise of objectivity is annoying, particularly as you continue to dismiss anyone who behaves differently than you do as being wrong.
Ok, I skimmed the whole thread and wanted to expand on my previous comment which sounds kind of harsh
For a lot of sellers, moving is a huge emotional process. Sometimes it's about coming to terms with aging, letting your house go to move into somewhere smaller and more manageable. There could a divorce involved, a death, financial issues, a disability. Even a relocation can cause a lot of emotional upset. When it's a happy move (moving to a bigger house, a desirable town etc) people seem to detach much more quickly from their current property.
The problems happen when sellers conflate these "big feelings" with the actual sale of the physical property. To be honest, on our househunt last year, there were quite a few "sellers" who should have done some sessions with a therapist first to unpack their emotional baggage before putting their house on the market.
I have a saying..."It's on the market but it's not for sale" These are the houses that sit for two years on the market before the sellers finally lower their price to a reasonable point. These are people working through the "big feelings."
However, it's not the job of prospective buyers to help a seller along this journey.
In an ideal world, sellers would have the resources to be able to completely move out and make their next move before putting their current home on the market. That would probably be the healthiest option but that is unlikely to happen for most folks.
I agree 100%. The reality of selling a home is that other people will be coming into your space, using it for a time, maybe even touching your things or not behaving as you would. They may have different values. They might not want to keep your home the way it has been under your watch.
Maybe a new business model for RE might be to have someone on staff who helps clients work through all these emotions. A good RE agent is fantastic but I agree that from what I often see posted on this forum the objections go deeper than just people coming to view during a meal. Maybe RE offices can start having "transition counselors" who help get sellers in a better mindset to objectively complete the transaction if they need more time to come to terms with the change.
I love your saying. I have definitely seen those houses.
We bought our current house from a woman who was 3rd generation growing up there, her grandfather had it built.
She was selling under somewhat less than ideal circumstances, but not in immediate distress by any means.
We found out early on that her agent was also her childhood friend and former neighbor. That made my antenna go up. Our agent picked up on it too. We thought "uh oh, she won't let go."
My wife and I didn't really talk about it explicitly but we DID tread politely but firmly throughout even when we hit some bumps during closing. I mean, we knew we were getting the house so we focused on that and knew it cost us nothing to be kind and polite when we needed to push a point. And I have to give credit to both agents, the seller's for being the crutch the seller needed to let go and move on and ours for remaining calm but firm and continually reminding us we're getting the house and it's a very good deal.
Our last home was the home where we had our first (and only) child. We painted her room, decorated it with matching decor and furniture, etc. When we were done, it looked like a perfectly coordinated baby's room you'd see in a magazine. We were very proud of how it turned out, and of course, the sentimental factor.
But, we were only there for 1 year after our daughter was born. We'd outgrown other aspects of our home, and were looking to trade up. When we found our current home, it was so much better in nearly every way, and with the price being so attractive, we didn't let any sentimental feelings on our part stop us from getting a good deal.
That's a very cool idea. Some sort of floating counselor that listing agents could bring in (at a client's approval of course) just to assess the situation and perhaps provide some guidance
I do think there are simple things that agents and the industry could do to bring a bit more civility back into the process.
One of the things that seems to cause the most unnecessary stress, IMO, is this sense of urgency that some agents express about accepting any and all showings with little notice. Which I completely get from a business perspective. But some sellers just cannot handle that pressure when they are living in the home at the same time.
It is also my opinion that some listing agents do not screen showings enough before agreeing to them. There are lots of ways to research neighborhoods without private showings. I think it's too easy for anyone to email via Zillow or wherever and get a private showing. Buyers agents of course play a role in this too.
I also blame the realtors for this. There is no need to give feedback to the seller unless it is something constructive. As in, something they can do about it. Telling the seller that the buyer didn't like the home because they want a three car garage and you only have a two isn't helpful. The seller isn't going to add a 3rd garage, and the buyer's realtor is an idiot for showing them a home that didn't have their basic requirements.
Most people can't think abstractly. They walk into a home, and if they don't like the color of the walls, they can't imagine what it would look like with the color they want. They don't like the house and walk out, which is why everyone is told to paint the walls a neutral color. Because those colors are safe. It is the same reason a house needs to be staged, because people can't walk into a master bedroom and imagine a bed in there and that it is really a bedroom. They make everyone go through the expense of staging the house.
"Oh, dear, there is a small room they said is a den, but we need a room for the baby. There's a freaking desk in there. We need a house that has a baby room".
I've noticed the same. Some buyers are terrible visualizers! That is definitely something a good agent should be able to help them with in terms of talking it through, but I also agree that unless the feedback is constructive or helpful it really shouldn't be shared.
IDK. I don't get it either. I've bought & sold many homes over the years, from ones that I've had built & loved, to ones that didn't suit us & were a short ownership, to ones that I had no feelings about one way or another. I have never taken any of the comments personally & I don't understand why anyone would. The comments to me, are telling you why the prospect didn't buy. They are being polite in giving you a piece of information. That's it. If someone says they don't like purple walls or as was said to me "your garage sale stove", I have 2 options, change them out or not. No one else has to have my taste, it's not a commentary on me, it's simply why *they* didn't buy. It's my job as a seller to make my house attractive to the greatest number of people possible, so that I can make a sale. If too much time goes by without a sale, then I may have to give some consideration to what my prospects are saying, in order to meet MY goal - to sell it & move on.
The goal is to sell the house. Not to not be inconvenienced or to feel warm & fuzzy about the transaction, the goal is to sell, period. In some markets you can do that with little inconvenience & in others, people will be traipsing through your house for months or even years. In some markets you can sell to people you like, in others, you have to sell to people you hate. Either way, the point is that you sell. I once had to sell a house to people I hated & the neighbors desperately didn’t want me to sell to them (this was back when you often met buyers). It was the only offer we’d gotten. I had no choice, nor would I have blocked it if I had a choice. Unless the neighbors were ponying up the money to buy the house, I had to sell to whoever offered to pay. It didn’t matter that they were rude or annoying or cocky. They were the only ones that offered $$.
I think Twingles is right on, as to the why though. Many people aren’t selling b/c they really want to & so they have mixed feelings abt the transaction. Also, some people are just sensitive to what others think of them.
I’m pretty shocked as to how much I read here that sellers want to limit the number of people that come through their home. Sales is a numbers game. The more people that see it, the more chances it will sell. Not too many people selling houses really have the luxury of limiting their chances of a sale. Even if you have the luxury, why would you? It defeats the goal. It's a strategy that is in direct odds with the ultimate goal. In a sellers or hot market, you can get away with being picky & choosy about your prospects. In most markets, not so much. Every salesperson has a ratio…I’m guessing in real estate that ratio is showings/closings…it takes X number of showings to make close a deal.
As for why people view houses that don’t on paper have everything their looking for? 2 reasons that boil down to sales is a numbers game. No house can meet every single desire, unless it’s custom built for that person (& then it won't be perfect for the next person anyway). Plus, most people have likely bought a house that doesn’t have every single thing they want. How many people do you think have bought a 2 car garage house, when they insisted they need 3? Or with 2 baths instead of 3 or whatever? It happens every single day. People fall in love with everything else about the house & make compromises. If it meets most of the criteria, of course the RE agent is going to show it & SHOULD show it. Sales is a numbers game, they are going to show it to as many people as possible to meet the ultimate goal, whether it meets every single check box or not.
I get that it’s very inconvenient. But selling a house is always inconvenient. Even if you move out of it first, it’s still inconvenient. People still leave your lights on, your blinds askew & sit on your furniture. It’s an expected part of an inconvenient process & you put up with it b/c it helps bring you towards your ultimate goal, which is the sale. If you’re lucky enough to be in an amazing market, where you don’t have to cater to your potential customers, good for you. Enjoy it, b/c the next time you go to sell, it’s unlikely that you’ll get so lucky again. Markets change all the time. Today’s hot location or seller’s market is tomorrow’s overpriced passe’ location.
I think many people lose sight of the ultimate goal due to the inconvenience factor & I think in some cases, people don't feel it's their goal. Esp if they had to sell b/c they can't afford it anymore or are moving for a job & maybe 1 partner doesn't want to move, etc.
It floors me that some see this as an unpopular opinion. It's never occurred to me to think of it as anything other than a financial transaction. If your goal is to sell, then you gotta do everything in your power to meet your goal, unless you're lucky enough to live in Denver . But, I do tend to be a goal oriented, logical person. I have had mixed feelings abt selling a property, but for me, by the time I put it on the market, the emotional part of my decision is done & there is only 1 goal. I know not everyone sees it that way, cuz I've seen houses that go on & off the market over & over without what appears to be serious intent on the sellers part. I even had some neighbors like that.
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I will be sure to post a link so everyone can complain bitterly.
. But, I do tend to be a goal oriented, logical person. I have had mixed feelings abt selling a property, but for me, by the time I put it on the market, the emotional part of my decision is done & there is only 1 goal. I know not everyone sees it that way, cuz I've seen houses that go on & off the market over & over without what appears to be serious intent on the sellers part. I even had some neighbors like that.
