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Old 01-26-2018, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Illinois USA
291 posts, read 147,623 times
Reputation: 211

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Quote:
It sounds like she is ready to settle down, raise family and you are not.
I'm ready but I dont like the idea to be burdened with running the ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD and plus having the commitment of an expensive house while all she does is make payment for a condo which she can barely afford on her salary
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Old 01-26-2018, 07:13 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,837 posts, read 57,830,396 times
Reputation: 29235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post
I'm 38 yr old guy , 1 kid
living with my baby mama
we live in CHicago suburbs
we are both working but cannot decide on if we want to buy a house or not
Live in the condo until you can get out from under the loan.
Then, once rid of the loan, rent CHEAP for a couple years to save up some cash.

If you still want to buy a house when you actually have some CASH in your pocket...
find a psychiatrist.
---

There are places in the world where owning makes good sense.
Chicago (and NY Metro and San Fran) really isn't those places.
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Old 01-26-2018, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
7,754 posts, read 6,110,007 times
Reputation: 6882
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
Buying a home with someone you are not married to has "disaster" written all over it.
especially, regardless of gender, when you earn 3X what they do.
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Old 01-26-2018, 08:18 PM
 
7,031 posts, read 3,744,270 times
Reputation: 8354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post
I agree
but she has little to lose by making us buy a house, if she decides she wants to leave me later I will be in hot water
probably lose the house AND make the payments

I dont trust anyone 100% other than siblings and parents
In that case, could you compromise and rent a nice house (or a larger/nicer house if you already live in one) together for a few years instead of buying one now?
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Old 01-26-2018, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Tennessee at last!
1,870 posts, read 1,719,956 times
Reputation: 3714
Buying a house for the baby and baby momma who can not afford the payment of the house on her own is setting you up to pay for that house (mortgage, taxes, repairs, etc.) for the baby and baby momma long after you leave the relationship.....

Way too often the guy ends up loosing a house to this type of a situation. And with a kid, you could easily be supporting the house costs until the kid is 18 years old.

Do not buy that house, with out being married and a pre-nup, AND a desire to stay in that area for at least 5 years!


And if you do end up buying it anyway, put it TOTALLY in your name, pay for the expenses with non-mixed funds, and have her pay you monthly rent for living there! And buy a house you can afford with out her rent.

You gotta take care of your future.
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Old 01-26-2018, 08:21 PM
 
7,031 posts, read 3,744,270 times
Reputation: 8354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post

makes me nervous to have 2 properties esp in a climate that can be uncertain given the law n order situation of chicago
Is your name on the deed of the condo as co-owner?

If not, the risk (as well as any future profits) for the condo is all hers, given that you are not married.

Similarly, one way to protect yourself if you decide to buy a house before marriage, is to insist that the deed be only in your name since you think you'll be paying the lion's share of the associated costs (i.e. mortgage, taxes, etc.). At some future point, should you marry your girlfriend, you can then add her to the deed.

In the mean time, have an attorney write up a will, and put your child as your sole inheritor of all property should you die; have everything - including any future sale of the house - put into a trust for him upon your death with one of your siblings as the trustee.

As lae60 said above, you gotta take care of your future -- but you also have to take care of your child's.

However, I'm not an attorney (I just play one on the internet) so definitely consult with an attorney before considering any of this.

Last edited by RosieSD; 01-26-2018 at 08:38 PM..
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Old 01-26-2018, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,074 posts, read 3,770,509 times
Reputation: 10047
If you can’t commit to marrying your girlfriend then my input is not to buy a house
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Old 01-26-2018, 10:36 PM
 
6,166 posts, read 3,249,243 times
Reputation: 12502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post
I'm 38 yr old guy , 1 kid
living with my baby mama
we live in CHicago suburbs
we are both working but cannot decide on if we want to buy a house or not

here is our situation

my baby mama
1-she makes 50k
2-she owns a condo in chicago which she is in no position to sell as still is quite under water, it was worth 315k but there condos only going for 230-250 or so
3-she wants to buy a family home ASAP and is trying to sell the condo, she wants a family home in 250-350 k range 3 bed/2bath
4-she feels we are throwing money away renting ( we cant live in her condo as its too far from our jobs but its rented right now)


Me
1- I make 150 k
2-own no property, terrified of owning a house as

a- I'm ADHD I forget and terrible at take care of things
b-not handy at all
c-not sure if I will stay in IL for a long time to make it worth while, I'm the kind of guys who like switching jobs every few yrs
d-if she leaves me I'll be stuck with the house and unable to sell it

she is pressuring me to buy a house and I'm resisting it
my gut tells me dont do it and renting is not always "throwing money away" either

I'm ok with buying an ugly fixer upper with potential for upgrade which we can over the yrs put in sweat equity ( and shes very handy btw) but she wants a turn key ready upgraded house

so we cannot find any common ground

Please any advice will be welcome
If by "baby mamma" you mean you aren't married, I wouldn't buy a house with someone I'm not married to. That's just asking for trouble. There are courts to handle separation of property of married people, if it doesn't work out. There are no courts to handle separation of property of unmarried people living together. Not a good position to be in.
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Old 01-26-2018, 11:37 PM
Status: "Living the good retired life." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
5,861 posts, read 3,139,843 times
Reputation: 11824
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post
mom is my kids mom ...my baby mama

sorry
I knew exactly what you were saying.
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Old 01-26-2018, 11:42 PM
Status: "Living the good retired life." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
5,861 posts, read 3,139,843 times
Reputation: 11824
Illinois has some severe financial problems. As things get even worse, expect more people who actually work for a living to exit. I personally don't like renting, but in your case, it's probably the wise choice for now. Case in point...your BM's upside down condo. You could get a nice deal right on a house right now, but as things get worse, you could have two homes that you're upside down in. And if you lose the renters, then you have two mortgages to deal with on your own.
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