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Old 01-27-2018, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Illinois USA
291 posts, read 147,916 times
Reputation: 211

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Quote:
(Don't be surprised though if you break up down the road and she sues you for enough child support to allow her and your son to continue living in a house)
Thats why I'm opposed to lifestyle inflation, I think a safe neighborhood and good school is enough it could be the smallest house
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Old 01-27-2018, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,638 posts, read 3,316,997 times
Reputation: 12748
Lived my entire life in Illinois until we moved out of there in 2016. I'd caution buying a house there as taxes are ridiculous! I would also caution buying a house with someone you're not married to, even if it is your babies momma!

As an FYI.......just in case you're thinking about getting married, in Illinois a married couples property becomes community. So if you were to marry her, her upside down condo becomes your problem as well!

There are some affordable homes in the Chicago suburbs, but I see you're currently in Naperville. I used to live in North Plainfield. You can get a $350k home in Naperville but it will most likely need a lot of work. Renting a home in Naperville will cost an insane amount of money because of the good schools there! I personally WOULD rent a home rather than buy one until she gets rid of her condo and you figure out if you plan on staying in Illinois long term. You might want to look at a different suburb though where rent isn't so high.
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Old 01-27-2018, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Boise, Idaho
704 posts, read 550,560 times
Reputation: 650
Typically, if you aren't planning to live there for 5+ years, you might think twice about buying a home. I figure it typically costs about 2.5% closing costs (plus down payment) to buy a home and then about 8.5% to sell it. Therefore, the property would have to go up 11% to break even. If house payments are less than rent, I would change my position since you would actually save cash by purchasing each month and you will be building your retirement and have a potential rental if you needed to move.

Just my free $0.02
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Old 01-27-2018, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Illinois USA
291 posts, read 147,916 times
Reputation: 211
Quote:
As an FYI.......just in case you're thinking about getting married, in Illinois a married couples property becomes community. So if you were to marry her, her upside down condo becomes your problem as well!
indeed , thanks for reminding me
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Old 01-28-2018, 06:09 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,855 posts, read 57,874,473 times
Reputation: 29278
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post
I don't want her to give up her job either so I'm not too keen interested in moving out of the area
It's impractical to move far even with a recruiter paying moving fees.
But the question needed to be broached.

So it seems to be the consensus that getting married has NO advantage for you.
And buying a home has no advantage for YOU.
And leaving the area has no advantage for either of you.

Next up is just how long a commute is required to find a house you can afford** to rent.
And these questions might be better in the Chicago area local forums.

Quote:
unless she agrees to move to northern california...
I was thinking more like Peoria or maybe Iowa City
--

**As to what "afford" means... well, I've written on that a fair bit around here.
(A: far less than many want to accept as being correct)
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Old 02-20-2018, 08:38 AM
 
2,769 posts, read 1,498,302 times
Reputation: 2173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dad01 View Post
indeed , thanks for reminding me
No. IL is an equitable distribution state. Only if your name goes on the condo deed does it become your problem.
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Old 02-20-2018, 09:38 AM
 
1,542 posts, read 848,256 times
Reputation: 1168
If there is no recourse, let her default on the condo, and ruin her credit. You buy the house in your name, let her pay rent to you, then when her credit heals, put her name on the deed and or loan. Or..get a job near the condo and move in..boom, you're homeowners. Let her sell you half, and you both can pay it off. There is a price to pay for gambles and bad decisions.
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Georgia
4,514 posts, read 3,775,544 times
Reputation: 15511
Don't buy a house. You have far too many other reservations about this situation other than just buying a house. You aren't 100% committed to your relationship, you don't trust her, and as far as I'm concerned (a little old fashioned, but a lot practical), it's messy to buy a house with someone you aren't committed to, unless you are doing it as a business venture. Suddenly, you're in a house together -- what if you break up? Now you don't want to throw both mom and child out on the street, right? Messy . . .

On the other hand, it might be cheaper than paying child support AND rent . . . :-) She's earning $50K in a high cost-of-living area -- what would she be able to contribute to the rent of a house that you purchase? If she made improvements, could she later claim a portion of the house as sweat equity?

But, your rationalizations are a little suspect:

Quote:
1- more time for my son
2-more time to spend on my health
3-more time to work and earn more money
4-less taxes and maintainence costs
Most homes are not such a drag on your life that you spend all your time in service to the house. Everyone who has a house finds a way to make time for their children, stay healthy (what does that even mean, "more time to spend on my health"? You mean, working out?) More time to work and earn more money is pretty much a direct conflict to #1 and #2, you know. There's a work-family-self balance, and I suspect that another reason you are balking at a house is that you don't want to get tied down in a family situation that will eat up the time you can now spend on yourself and your work. A house represents a true commitment -- and that's why she's pushing for a house. Nothing wrong with being focused -- but sounds like your child's mother is wanting you to shift your focus against your will.
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,969 posts, read 6,716,042 times
Reputation: 10707
Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
Buying a home with someone you are not married to has "disaster" written all over it.
I agree.
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Old 02-21-2018, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,679 posts, read 4,836,858 times
Reputation: 11014
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
you may be leaving the area shortly - this can be remedied by making sure the house is desirable (our friends bought a house and sold it 8 months later at a $80,000 profit, they avoided capital gains by repurchasing another house)
This is market specific and may not apply to Illinois. A quick turn around like that, in most markets, will mean taking a loss. There aren't many areas of the country where the value of the home raises more than $80k in eight months.

OP, follow your gut.

However, if you choose to buy a house, these are some questions that you should think about:
  • Do you have a down payment saved? An emergency fund in addition to that down payment?
  • Will you and her buy the home jointly?
  • Can she even qualify for the mortgage? With her already holding a mortgage while making only $50k it's likely she would not qualify for another mortgage.
  • If the house is in your name only (and with the disperity between income levels), you and her would need to come up with an agreement on how much she will contribute financially.
  • And since you're not married, and presumably the house in your name only, an agreement for what happens if you two split. Would she be the one to move out? If she paid half the mortgage payment, does she deserve an equal split of the equity when you sold? Would you buy her out? Or would her contribution be seen as rent, and she would receive nothing? (FWIW, 4 and 5 should be an agreement in writing and signed by you both)
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