U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Real Estate
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-03-2018, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Salem, OR
13,744 posts, read 31,570,576 times
Reputation: 12105

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post

If the bank tells them that they can afford a $220,000 mortgage on a 2400 square foot house, and neither has lived in a house bigger than 1300 square feet, why not get a 1300-1500 house for a $140,000 mortgage and live comfortably, instead of no money for furniture, no money for an inexpensive family vacation, no going to Applebees once a month for a family dinner? having a big house with empty rooms because they can't afford furniture and no money to paint the exterior does not sound like a good plan.
It seems they want a different lifestyle than the one you think they should have?

Seriously, Applebees? That's terrible food. Maybe they want to grow their own vegetables and cook? Some people are homebodies and don't like to go out a lot. Maybe that is what they want to do.

I guess I'm a bit confused because you say the young man is smart and was applying to engineering school. He works as a pipefitter but you don't think he has the intelligence or skills to fix up the house? I would think a house that needs a bit of work might be right up his alley?

College is not for everyone. It sounds like college wasn't for him, but you don't see any other path for him to be a success other than going to college?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-03-2018, 11:23 AM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
582 posts, read 185,223 times
Reputation: 747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana Holbrook View Post
You say that's true, but you're saying it's not an option for them to buy garbage cans and figure out how to get it to the dump? This is an unsolvable problem for you? Really?

Just keep the goal in mind, then Jim... are you honestly trying to help them, or are you trying to throw land mines in front of them? Because your motives matter in whether they should listen to you, or whether this turns into a big family squabble that is hard for the relationship to recover from.
I don't have to solve the problem, only inform about it. There are already two trash cans in the garage that I doubt the sellers would take. Short money if they did. There is ONE car, a small sedan with a small trunk. Transfer station is only open Friday and Saturday and closes at 4. She has the car M-F during the day and gets home in time for him to go to his second shift job. She works longer on Saturday because that's usually an off day for him. He ONLY has about an hour window on Friday, or at best two hours on Saturday, to load trash bags that may include week old diapers, into the trunk and get them to the transfer station....living the good life. Probably $30-40 per week for a trash hauler to pick up at their curb at the end of a 300ft gravel driveway.

Again, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, these kids have not written a detailed budget, had their parents review it and tell them all that they missed, and that's a LOT.

Not to sound like MY dad, but if one of my daughters were doing this, I would be advising them that they are out of their mind. I've actually told my oldest, 25 next week, that she should be looking at the multi-families that are a minutes walk from where she works. At 25, she needs to get out of mom's house.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 11:40 AM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
582 posts, read 185,223 times
Reputation: 747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silverfall View Post
It seems they want a different lifestyle than the one you think they should have?

Seriously, Applebees? That's terrible food. Maybe they want to grow their own vegetables and cook? Some people are homebodies and don't like to go out a lot. Maybe that is what they want to do.

I guess I'm a bit confused because you say the young man is smart and was applying to engineering school. He works as a pipefitter but you don't think he has the intelligence or skills to fix up the house? I would think a house that needs a bit of work might be right up his alley?

College is not for everyone. It sounds like college wasn't for him, but you don't see any other path for him to be a success other than going to college?
Applebee's, Chili's..... about what's out their way where you would bring a 2-1/2 year old. Neither garden. Usually lots of pizza boxes or processed food boxes in their kitchen. Kid is smart. He never got to see if college life was for him. He applied too late then made a baby..... Pipefitter was what he found to make money to support his child. Good paying job helping to build submarines, but not what was his "plan". 5 minutes of fun changed that forever. Now he is either working or taking care of my granddaughter. Same for the mom. I never said that he didn't have the smarts or skills to fix up a house. Not likely that he can move from blue collar to white collar at the submarine plant without college papers. They have a tuition reimbursement program, but his life has become second shift work, get home at 1am, sleep, take care of the child, and go back to work....repeat. No time for part time college unless his wife quits HER job. He and his wife basically have mid afternoon Saturday until evening, then Sunday's together..... minutes here and there otherwise. They are moving so far out that they can't even easily have a "date night" because there is nobody to watch the toddler. Hour for us, 30-40 minutes for the other two grandpa's. Right now the wife's dad lives in the apartment right above and the wife's ex is only 15 minutes away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 11:40 AM
 
4,620 posts, read 2,612,307 times
Reputation: 4108
Interesting thread. Net-net is that they are adults and are free to make good - or poor - decisions on their own. FWIW I largely agree with your assessment, they are taking on a lot with a lot of potential downsides. But it’s their choice, you can only advise.

I’d say the best present you could buy right now would be to help them ensure the home gets fully and properly inspected, and to help outline the “must do” fixes and the costs.

Do they have a real estate attorney they are working through? Maybe your step-son will let you speak with him/her. I’m assuming they are past offer but before contract?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 01:27 PM
 
1,326 posts, read 529,298 times
Reputation: 2308
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
Well: the home inspector stopped the test when it wasn't close to what it needs to be. I'm sure the sellers agent needs to get the seller to agree to pay for a well service to come out and do a professional analysis.



Oh, and the kid doesn't like the popcorn texture on the ceilings, thinks he can sand/scrape off.... Like I said, he knows it all. I mentioned this plan to the paint guy at Lowes. He said he'll end up starting scraping, then putting another layer of gyp board over it....

Anyway, I think if the seller fixes these major things, two months before they can close.
The paint guy at Lowe's is an idiot. I know several people who scraped off the popcorn ceilings in houses. It is actually not hard, just tedious, dirty, and requires some minor spackling. The issue to me is the safety issues of the house not the cosmetics. Mold? How much where and can it easily be remedied. Mold can be damaging to a baby. The stairs issue and railings, railings can be fixed the stairs apparently can't. Could be an issue for the baby later. Your wife should recommend they walk and look for a better house.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 03:07 PM
 
26,910 posts, read 38,152,457 times
Reputation: 34844
Who gets to clear that driveway after a storm? Yikes!

Babies and mold make me very nervous.

Her being alone all night every night with no way to get anywhere... Tick tick tick. That little bomb will go off at some point. Sure hope the baby doesn't get seriously sick while he's at work.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,638 posts, read 3,319,645 times
Reputation: 12748
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Repairs and trip hazards aside, I would never advise people that age who've never bought a home to take on "3 acres out in the woods" with a well and septic. Never.

Is this house typical of those in your area?

Why are they trying so hard to buy? (I could look through your post history I guess but am hoping not to.)

My nephew and his wife just bought a house in Seattle after a grueling year and a half trying to navigate that hellish market. Their patience paid off. I would advise more patience for your stepson.
I agree! The driveway and mold would be deal breakers for me! And if they don’t have money for repairs and an emergency fund than they shouldn’t be buying, especially a home that needs repairs!

At any rate....the son is old enough to make his own decisions and doesn’t need mommy and daddy to do a budget for him. He should already know how to do that, as well as know what he can afford and what repairs s home will need that he’s purchasing. You can advise but don’t be surprised when he doesn’t take the advice!

Last edited by CGab; 03-03-2018 at 03:45 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 03:46 PM
 
Location: New Britain, CT
582 posts, read 185,223 times
Reputation: 747
Son should have been named Jesus, not David.... he walks on water in her eyes....

David gets to clear that driveway.... or pay a guy with a plow to do it. He's never dealt with a gravel driveway, nor a 300 footer.

Never had to pay to fill an oil tank. When I was renting a 2br apartment I had to buy a good 800 gallons during the winter that I was there. Not including domestic hot water. 2,400 ft house? Never lived in one so big. 1200 gallons? I hope that is the high end. He's not going to be expecting that hit to the wallet.

They've been stealing her father's wifi from his apartment right above theirs. Have to buy their own cable/internet now.

Wife was just talking to her kid. He gave the seller 5 days to respond to repair requests including the well and mold. I doubt they can get contractors there that quick for an "assessment" They don't make money on assessments on speculation. they make money on fixing stuff. Inspections were done on Thursday. I bet they can't get anybody there until Wednesday at the soonest, and estimates to the seller for a week after that. I used to work in HVAC sales. I know what it takes to get a quote put together.

I'm not emotionally connected to this, so I just say it how it is

Kids are totally emotionally connected.

Wife is emotionally connected to Jesus, er, David..... and SHE was a realtor before the 2009 crash...... She should know better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Salem, OR
13,744 posts, read 31,570,576 times
Reputation: 12105
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
Pipefitter was what he found to make money to support his child. Good paying job helping to build submarines, but not what was his "plan". 5 minutes of fun changed that forever.
He sounds like he is taking responsibility for the consequences of his actions, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
Now he is either working or taking care of my granddaughter. Same for the mom. I never said that he didn't have the smarts or skills to fix up a house. Not likely that he can move from blue collar to white collar at the submarine plant without college papers. They have a tuition reimbursement program, but his life has become second shift work, get home at 1am, sleep, take care of the child, and go back to work....repeat. No time for part time college unless his wife quits HER job.
This sounds like what adults do to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
He and his wife basically have mid afternoon Saturday until evening, then Sunday's together..... minutes here and there otherwise. They are moving so far out that they can't even easily have a "date night" because there is nobody to watch the toddler. Hour for us, 30-40 minutes for the other two grandpa's. Right now the wife's dad lives in the apartment right above and the wife's ex is only 15 minutes away.
This is the harder way to raise kids, but it doesn't sound like they value all of that support close by.

You may get lucky though because if the well is only coming out at 2GPM, then I know it wouldn't qualify for financing out in my area. The lender would kill the deal for the kids.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2018, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,069 posts, read 37,716,477 times
Reputation: 73719
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
Not to sound like MY dad, but if one of my daughters were doing this, I would be advising them that they are out of their mind. I've actually told my oldest, 25 next week, that she should be looking at the multi-families that are a minutes walk from where she works. At 25, she needs to get out of mom's house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post
I feel that they should buy a 2 family for less money in one of the small cities near his work...
Why are you hung up on the multifamily idea? It's not like being landlords would be easy

Why don't YOU buy a multifamily if it's such a great idea??

Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2 View Post

I'm not emotionally connected to this, so I just say it how it is
That's the least true thing you've said all day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Real Estate
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top