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Yes, and it's not his first thread of this either. It's pretty clear why this poor couple wants to move out to the country/woods.
Geeze, you're right! I hadn't made the connection between now and an earlier thread... where I said this, about another house they were interested in. As I read it again, it sounds like advice I would still give again...:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana Holbrook
So you're getting all over-wrought about lawn equipment you think they need and cant afford, on a place you don't even think they're going to end up with?
As others have said, this is not a real estate question, it's a family relationship question. And you're not being helpful, you're being a killjoy. And you will not prevent them from buying a house, but you will cause them and their mother a lot of stress, and push them further from you. A $180K mortgage is a pretty achievable dream for a young couple of smart, employable adults who are making pretty good money for their age. They'll figure it out. And they'll figure out how to get the lawn mowed and the snow cleared.
It is possible "dad", to be completely "right" and be a complete jerk. Yes, it would be best if they had cash to buy new yard machines, and service the oil tank, and buy another car, and put the rest in savings. Once you've said that.... and I think you already have... you've done your part. STOP lecturing and pouting and trying to get your wife to talk to them when they stop talking to you, and wish them well. I say this as a daughter who once had a know-it-all controlling dad who made my life IMPOSSIBLE when I didn't do things his way.
I know it's hard being the smartest person in the room. But there are lots of ways to live a good life. Not just yours. Stop thinking you need to not just love and advise, but also control, your wife's adult son and his adult wife. You don't need to micromanage their budget and their relationships with their other parents too.
Remember... you're probably fracturing this relationship over an offer you don't even think will be accepted. How silly is that? Sometimes the worst case scenario doesn't play out. And then you spent a lot of energy worrying and making everyone else crazy.... for nothing.
If you want to be helpful, a lawn mower OR some useful tools the kid doesn't already have, would be a better choice than a gas grill which no one really needs. Does the stepson have a circular saw? Variable speed reversible drill? Good sharp hand saw? A quality claw hammer? Trouble light? Extension cords? A couple of medium quality wood chisels will go a lot further than you might think.
No homeowner tools. just a few mechanics tools. Circular saw, hand saw, hammers, squares, levels, drills (corded or battery), etc. He has none. Yard tools like rakes, shovels, shears, wheelbarrow, trimmers, chainsaw, leaf blower, lawn mower, etc....NONE.
I don't know your contracts, but our contracts say the seller has X number of days to either agree to do the repairs requested, reject them, or offer some compromise. They don't have to have the repairs FINISHED, only to agree to do them or not. They probably have more time... up until closing, to actually get the work done.
5 days to get it done just isn't practical.
I agree. You can't get the quotes back in 5 days.... most of my career has been in commercial construction in sales, estimating, and project management.
No homeowner tools. just a few mechanics tools. Circular saw, hand saw, hammers, squares, levels, drills (corded or battery), etc. He has none. Yard tools like rakes, shovels, shears, wheelbarrow, trimmers, chainsaw, leaf blower, lawn mower, etc....NONE.
Geeze, you're right! I hadn't made the connection between now and an earlier thread... where I said this, about another house they were interested in. As I read it again, it sounds like advice I would still give again...:
Like I said when I started this thread....."I'm back".... Kudos to you who found it.
The first house had more going for it but the sellers never got back to them on their offer. The other house is controlled by one of the local Indian reservations. No clue why they never responded. The first house had little going on other than the financial aspect. This one looks to be a train wreck for the same money. Not my kid. I'm here just looking for opinions. I've heard plenty....most say RUN Forest, RUN.... 3 acres on a hillside with only 1/4 acre usable yard. Tick heaven. House has lots of issues. It taps them out financially just to buy it, let alone fix it up. Won't have money to buy furniture, let alone things like a washer/dryer..... I don't know. there are many more affordable options out there, but he wants to be in the woods, although he's never lived in the woods, and she wants 2 floors for some reason. The sellers are selling because one of them can no longer traverse the stairs. Boy's mother and I, when the time comes, will only be looking at ranches, because her back injury makes stairs difficult.
My suggestion was that "Jim" instead of racking his brain for ways to convince his adult not-quite-stepson and the stepson's wife (it is "wife", isn't it) to do what he wants them to do rather than what they want to do - could instead rack his brains for inexpensive gifts that would help them (things like a rake, a short bladed lopper and a long bladed shrubbery shear, and a couple ladders, for example, would be superior examples of housewarming gifts. Maybe one of those "how to fix everything in the house" books too.)
As I said. I have a mower in the basement here that I think only needs a carb rebuilt. I either get a kit and get it running, or put in on the curb for the scrapper who comes by every week or two.
As for hand tools, easy to go from "oh, that should only be fifty bucks" to the fifty bucks plus $80 in tools on top of that.
Case in point. In the kitchen in my dad's house, where I live for now to take care of him, I have to replace about 20 broken ceramic floor tiles when he goes in for a surgery in April. There are spare tiles in the basement. I went to Lowes last week and between tools, adhesive, grout, to replace only 20 tiles, going to be $100 plus for me to do the job.
Ummmm... Go to pawn shops, garage sales, and Craigslist to buy used tools? When I was young and broke and I needed a tool, that's what I did.
There seems to be a new philosophy of helplessness in this country that says if you don't already have all the skills and tools to do a particular task, it is practically impossible to gain them. I have seen this with statements like "Oh, I can't paint my house" - why not? Are you crippled or extremely elderly? If not, you can paint your house - or "All I need to do about a real estate contract is to get the right lawyer, right? Then I won't have to read what I'm signing, or even think about it, right?"
I expect that a couple of early-20s buying a house like this are going to have to scuffle some. If they have a commitment to living frugally, staying together despite difficulties, and doing every single thing possible by themselves, they are likely to come out ten years from now with a nice little property, some money put by, and a lifetime's worth of skills and self-reliance they can use.
That is why I put the (abbreviated) story of my parents above. There are a lot of ways this story could go wrong but there are also a lot of ways it could go right. I guarantee the OP's relatives' oldish compact car is way better for transportation than the old 1940 Plymouth my parents used for transportation when they were first married. And I suspect a 20 something apprentice pipefitter can stand the gaff better than a disabled veteran with a heart condition.
Dad.... I wish you the best, in spite of yourself. You do remind me of my dad.
And I wish them the best in spite of you. Keep us posted!
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