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Old 03-09-2018, 07:54 AM
 
3,205 posts, read 2,812,336 times
Reputation: 9265

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeIsGood01 View Post
Like what your love of Star Wars action figures. I could care less what I have in common with my neighbors as long as they are quiet, respectful, take care of the property and are not criminals or drug dealers.

The very nice old man a few houses away I have nothing in common with and he is the nicest person on the block and has the nicest house on the block.
I was trying to politely word my comment. Crime was creeping into the neighborhood. I was ok with the parents, but the teenage and adult children started having run ins with the law. It wasn't just one neighbor. There were at least four 'affected' houses near me. The last straw for us was when we came home from a school event one night and there was a rolled vehicle in front of my house. The guy claimed he was coming around the corner and the dog jumped on him. He hit the next door neighbor's mailbox and that caused him to roll. The police didn't arrest the guy, but should have. He had several empty beer cans inside his suv. He lived about ten houses down from us. These neighbors were mainly polite to us, but it wasn't a comfortable feeling living there.
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Old 03-09-2018, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Williamsburg, VA
1,679 posts, read 766,610 times
Reputation: 3523
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post

-If while doing all this 6 months passes and you realize its not so bad...well then its all good, nothing lost

-Take the opportunity to spend time with your Dad

No sense in looking back except for lessons learned I suppose - look forward to your plan!
I totally agree with this, especially the part about spending time with your dad. Since you happen to be in the same town with him, I'd stay there awhile if you can find a way to tolerate it. My father died recently and was hospitalized for about 7 months before he finally passed. It was extremely difficult and expensive to keep travelling out to be with him. Not to mention the heartbreak of waiting through travel time when emergencies came up.

Would I do it again? Of course! But it would have been so much easier on us and better for everyone if we had been in the same town. You may not know how lucky you are. In many ways this town is a blessing for you right now. It really does seem smart to sit tight for a little while, if you can.
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Old 03-09-2018, 08:25 AM
 
10,265 posts, read 6,495,798 times
Reputation: 10837
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I was trying to politely word my comment. Crime was creeping into the neighborhood. I was ok with the parents, but the teenage and adult children started having run ins with the law. It wasn't just one neighbor. There were at least four 'affected' houses near me. The last straw for us was when we came home from a school event one night and there was a rolled vehicle in front of my house. The guy claimed he was coming around the corner and the dog jumped on him. He hit the next door neighbor's mailbox and that caused him to roll. The police didn't arrest the guy, but should have. He had several empty beer cans inside his suv. He lived about ten houses down from us. These neighbors were mainly polite to us, but it wasn't a comfortable feeling living there.

All you had to say was that the neighborhood started getting bad or going down hill. Otherwise I didn't get your gist.
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Old 03-09-2018, 08:46 AM
 
6,166 posts, read 3,251,225 times
Reputation: 12502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piney Creek View Post
FWIW, I've moved many times and owned a few houses. There are a few things I've learned along the way:

1. If you hate a town and you aren't in immediate danger, spend at least a year there to truly know why you ended up hating the place. Often there are more than one reason to dislike a place, and often the first reason isn't the real one. If you are a picky person by nature and bought the house during a time when you weren't feeling picky, and are now back to being a picky person, it might help to rechannel the "not picky" person for the rest of your time there. Tell yourself you can be picky again after you move.

2. During this year: keep lists with specific thoughts on what will be different in the next town that you move to, and how you are going to make sure you like it there. Renting in your next town might be a good idea, just to make sure you like the place. Write it down on a pad of paper. There is something about writing things like this out on a pad of paper that give you insights you may not have had before.

3. During this year: do some volunteer work with people who are worse off than you. Go to the red cross or a fire/rescue station and ask if they have paperwork you can help with. Go to a hospital and ask if there are babies that need to be held. Ask special olympics if you can help them in some way. Etc. It gets you connected, helps you make at least a few friends, and it gets you to stop thinking about your own problems. A local chaplain might have ideas of who needs help. Not religious? Ask a chaplain at a fire/rescue station. They service all people, and so are usually not into pushing a religious POV.

4. During this year: search for the people you feel are like minded. No matter how much "the people" of a town may seem foreign to you, every town has a wide variety of residents, even if it's not immediately noticeable. There will be somebody you can relate to, and sometimes when the number of like-minded friends is a tiny group, they'll get very close and feel more like a family. Figure out what you're looking for and then search for it--odds are before your year is up you'll find somebody who knows somebody. After you find a few friends you might feel a lot better.

5. If you're able to spend to money to move again, why not spend $100 to hire someone to hang the drapes for you? The drapes seem to be a big deal, the house might feel a lot better if you have them up. The same goes for trying out the tub. I suspect the energy you use to avoid finding out if the tub works is weighing you down. So find out, already. If it doesn't work, now you know and you can stop wasting energy wondering. If it does work you can enjoy it. And remember, if the inspector told you it works, it probably does.

6. Every place you move to will have a few things you don't like. And a few things you do like. This will be true where you move to next, so do yourself a favor and try not to have unrealistic expectations for your next town. And whether you move or stay, it helps to focus on the things you like and ignore the things you hate.

Having said all this, sometimes moving is the best solution. If you do decide to move I hope you like the next place. Although I tend to be a "root where you are planted" type of a gal, I did once move to a neighborhood I hated. Before I moved in I thought I would love living with lots of little children (but I had never actually lived on a street with lots of kids before). After moving in I discovered I didn't like it. Fortunately I was just renting so I was able to move in 6 months.

I never regretted that move, and even though it cost me some of my savings the move was worth it. I didn't think of it as a "punishment" but just a life lesson. If you do end up moving, I recommend that attitude, it helps a lot.
Thank you for your most helpful post. It is so good to read about others who have lived through similar things and what they did or did not do, and offer practical advice.

The inspector did test the whirlpool tub and said it worked. So I'll give it a try.

I highlighted the volunteer paragraph. I'm not a volunteer kind of person, but this might be a good thing for me to do. I do think I should focus more on that and realize what problems I don't have. But to be clear, I have had a fairly difficult life; what I've made of it, I did on my own, without parental guidance or support of any kind, and no one who much cared about me. My father wanting me nearby now is a reflection of regrets he has, and I respect that. Just to point out that I have worked very hard, seen the bad side life of life, been very poor, but saved and educated myself about investing, so that I could have a nest egg to retire on. So my nest egg is very important to me, and this part of my life...I view it as finally I can have a more rewarding life. This is what I worked so hard for, for decades. I sacrificed a lot. I've never been on a vacation in my adult life. I turned down dates. My entire focus was working and saving. My requirements aren't really that much. I blame myself for screwing up. But I didn't foresee what happened to the market last year...all the flippers and investors did impact the market. In one subdivision here, there were maybe 6 or 7 houses for sale. They were priced above market. Turned out they were all owned by one investor, who had bought all the houses and was sitting on them until he could get the price he wanted. He could afford to wait however long; his expenses were tax deductible. That wasn't a normal market.

So my plan is to revert to my original plan. I thought about my original plan a long time and planned it out, but it didn't work out.

But I will stay at least a year. I think that's probably correct. And make a written plan to do improvements that I think will help the sale and cost the least. The drapes are important to me, so I'll get that done. When I sell, the appearance of the home will be very important.

Thanks so much for taking the time to offer your practical suggestions & comments.
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Old 03-09-2018, 08:54 AM
 
10,265 posts, read 6,495,798 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
. I sacrificed a lot. I've never been on a vacation in my adult life. I turned down dates. My entire focus was working and saving. .
Go on a vacation. Go alone, if you like the beach, go there, or mountains, or skiiing. You don't have to spend a lot of money. You can drive somewhere if you like the beach drive to Key West, it's a beautiful drive down the Keys. Drive across the country and stay at motels along the way. Visit places you may like such as national forests or Las Vegas or Hollywood or New York or New Orleans or if you like Country music Branson. Take your dog with you and find pet friendly accommodations.

Last edited by LifeIsGood01; 03-09-2018 at 09:28 AM..
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:05 AM
 
169 posts, read 91,184 times
Reputation: 181
Lifeisgood, I agree, her problem isn’t really just real estate. It’s recentering and happiness. Our problems are really often different than we how we first state them.
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,077 posts, read 3,772,849 times
Reputation: 10047
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Thanks for your (and the other) response.

I'm retired.

I won't have the energy to move in several years, I think. And I risk having to replace the a/c, since it's old ($9,000) and/or the roof ($10,000). So I won't save any money by staying longer.

Yes, I'm in a mess. I know I'll take a loss. I just wondered if I might be able to get the same.

Agents will tell me I can get more for it than I can. That's how they work in this area. So I can get a CMA, but I might be better off doing my own.

As for 6% commission, I was going to try going through an agent who uses the cloud or something and has a lower fee.

Yes, I'm in quite a predicament. I'm seriously depressed. I can't stay for several years. I guess I'll just have to take the loss and live like a pauper.

I guess I get a contract on my house then hurry up and try to buy something in a new city?
Go ahead and sell. I’m retired, too. At our age we should live where we are happy. Maybe you can break even; the market has been going up and you are heading into prime time for selling. If you get a contract you’ll need to rent a place. Get a 6-month lease in Tyler if you can. Bet you can find something to buy in Tyler or the Longview area if you are patient; after school starts the market often softens a bit.
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:26 AM
 
570 posts, read 221,809 times
Reputation: 655
If you don't enjoy volunteering with/for people, consider volunteering with an animal rescue or SPCA. You already have and love a dog so that might not be too much of a stretch and everything you can do to befriend and socialize the dogs they have helps them better adapt to their new homes.
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:27 AM
 
10,265 posts, read 6,495,798 times
Reputation: 10837
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyKatie3 View Post
Lifeisgood, I agree, her problem isnít really just real estate. Itís recentering and happiness. Our problems are really often different than we how we first state them.
She has family issues and regrets about her life. She needs to forgive her family and realize that if they were a good person they did the best they could or were messed up by their parents or had other problems that the could not get past.
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Texas
1,139 posts, read 1,009,419 times
Reputation: 1461
Default maybe, maybe not

"My question is: I guess I can expect to take a hit on the price when I sell, right? I'll be selling, if someone will buy it, within a year of buying it. "
No, depends on the market, if you were in Austin, Tx. you would make a profit or lose 0. There I don't know.

"How do I buy a new house without moving out of my current house? Do I wait to get a contract on my house, then hurry up and travel to the new city and buy something in a hurry? How does that work?"

What warrants you being happy in the new city? Until you can figure out why you are so unhappy and what is a good plan to become happy, I would not sell it. Can you go temporarily live in the new city you are considering for a month and see if you even like it? What made you unhappy there if you rented in the same city 1st? Is living there just not as much fun as visiting?

Make a list of what you are looking for in the next 10 years and do some research. Talk to friends abut this. Are you missing family, hating family and need to get away.

You sound like you might be a bit low on impulse control? It sounds like in pursuit of material possession and/or money you sacrificed emotional skill building? Develop friendships, be interested in them and not just talk of yourself. You are in need of a self-Renaissance of sorts. Re-invent yourself. Any creative urges? Give into them - drawing, knitting, whatever. Take up fishing, archery or hiking. Whatever "floats your boat".
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