U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Real Estate
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 03-10-2018, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,425 posts, read 17,619,243 times
Reputation: 39904

Advertisements

I do think a lot more is going on here. Listen, I get mad when my husband puts holes in the wall because he didn't measure right the first time... but it's nothing some putty and paint can't fix. Same with the curtain hardware. Take a chip of paint and have it matched, or repair the whole thing in a color you like. I like a neutral palette in the kitchen, then you can add any color you want to make a statement, all this is super fixable.

Don't move somewhere depending on your neighborhood to make friends, that will hardly ever work out.

All this stuff is typical when you buy a house.

And all of it can be dealt with IF you are in the right frame of mind. Nothing exterior is going to fix problems on the interior (you). You are retired, you have a home and you should be enjoying it.

My Mom was the same way, "if I do this, I will be happy", she would do it, and be unhappy still.... she spent thousands she didn't have chasing the whole "grass is always greener" thing.

The trick is learning to be happy with what you have, where you are and what you can do. Do you really want to turn your life and finances upside down because of a bunch of petty things?
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-10-2018, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Kuwait
3,038 posts, read 1,178,326 times
Reputation: 2323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean897 View Post
have read thru several pages on this. I spent a long time moving around New England trying to find the best place for me, and my family to live. Now luck would have it that i grew up in that area and knew many of the places i was going to. My wish came true and moved to maine, within a half hour drive to ellsworth and 45 minutes to bangor. It was not until 2 moves after that, a realization came to me. I was not leaving places because i did not like them. yeah some were not the best and some were in rough parts of town. However the moving around i was doing was to escape the one thing i kept taking with me, myself.

Now i am living in Oklahoma, yeah i hate the summers here, the winters are not bad but there is no real fall. I can find lots of things wrong with this area. More so because we had fallen on hard times and forced to live in rentals now for 5 years. Right now i am living in a run down mobile home in a park that is over run with meth heads and dealers. however there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it is not a perfect place, but it is in good repair and we are moving there next month. it is not perfect because it is intown. I prefer out of town in a more rural area with neighbors that have a little distance from my place.

However when i was bouncing around New England my kids were small, we ended up in WV and that was the biggest mistake i could make. however at the time my ex was looking to get a divorce and was pushing all kinds of things and had me convinced i was nuts. when i caught her cheating it was the end, i moved to a small place that was in the hills, alone without a car ( who ever had the kids had the one car we had)

point being, seasons might not be what you expect them to be, the house might not be waht is expected. however unless you address the real issues you are not going to be happy living other places either. my suggestion is to prepare the house and yourself for moving. get to the root of the issue also. see if you are trying to run from yourself. see if there are sr programs there. and start going. find a house of worship for your chosen religion, or one that handles all them. get involved in something besides your hate of the house, and neighborhood.

I can find many things to hate about this place, however trying to make the best until we can leave. I can also find a lot of things to hate about the new house. Namely my wife is back tracking and going to leave it as close to what her mom had it as possible. I for one want to make the place outs and not into chrome and glass furniture. I am stuck with things as they are for now anyways.
It's quite the revelation when you realize you're your own worst enemy....testifying to the same.


I admit to being an idealist but life has taught me (I hope) to be a realistic idealist.


Between wife and I, she's always about setting down roots and being happy where you are and I'm about finding where you can be happiest....been and continues to be an interesting journey.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-10-2018, 10:47 PM
 
6,164 posts, read 3,249,243 times
Reputation: 12502
Quote:
Originally Posted by PCakes572 View Post
I hope you get out of there. I had to sell my house back in 2014, had only lived there 11 months, took three weeks to get an offer and I made money on it. My situation was different though, I liked my house but, was being laid off and had to sell. You'll get through it but, make plans to leave, peace of mind is worth it. And think of how relieved you will be when you get to the other side. I'm hoping all the best for you.
Thank you. Helps me be optimistic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-10-2018, 11:04 PM
 
6,164 posts, read 3,249,243 times
Reputation: 12502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove View Post
But wasn't the whole problem with renting in the first place the fact that you have the dogs and you weren't finding "pet friendly" rentals? How would that change in the future? What if your home sells and you have to find a place to rent quickly and you can't find a rental that will accept your dogs? You will be going from bad to worse in that case.
True. The dogs were a problem, when I checked on it before. However, one of my dogs died (which has added to my issues here), so it's better having just the one. And I did locate previously ONE place that would let me lease with my dogs, the catch being the lease term and the cost (if that place would still allow it). A little pricey because of the dogs, and a 6 mo. lease. Most places for rent require a 1 year lease, with some allowing 6 mos. (Well, there is another option if I'm desperate; there are sometimes small houses for lease in a bad part of town, but I think that would not be safe.)

Another issue with renting is...it would take off the price of house I could afford. There are also extra costs for storage of my 3 bedroom house full of stuff. Then I'd have to set up utilities in my own name (deposits, initial service fees). So no, I don't want to rent. But I would have to see. If it turns out I need only a month of renting, as another poster suggested, staying in an economical hotel/motel might be the way to go. I've already stayed in one there a number of times with my dogs. It was great for my needs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-10-2018, 11:25 PM
 
6,164 posts, read 3,249,243 times
Reputation: 12502
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoBromhal View Post
you've come back to this point again, and are still in error it seems. When you say "advisable to rent", I can't help but think you mean "a good financial decision", and are going back to the unaddressed thought I gave you about thinking every $ rented = -$1 for the house. It doesn't work that way - because you have to pay to live somewhere.

You have to decide whether you're willing to sell and likely go the rental route, or whether you'll go under contract on your sale and FIND the NEXT house to buy. That's not a financial decision, that's an emotional decision, and that is OK!

Buying a home is so much easier or more quickly decided now - there are pictures, clickable satellite maps, home layouts posted online, recent sales to have an idea on comps (and let your highly-qualified real estate pro give their opinion and listen to it). You should be able to tell me within an hour if what you want is available in Tyler or whatever town you choose.

If 30 houses a month go for sale in your chosen town that would work for you - that's a data point (and a high number). if only 1 per week comes up, then that weighs on your rent v buy decision.
Well, you do make a good point. When I rented here before, my father made arrangements for a "good deal" for me here (through extended family).We figured out that because of the low rent & low utilities, and having my cash getting interest in the bank (from sale of my home), I was actually breaking even on the cost of renting vs owning a home (mainly because of the high property taxes & high utilities in Dallas).

So the cost of renting wouldn't be quite $1 = $1, but you're right that the cost would be defrayed somewhat because of what owning a house would cost me for that time.

Yes, I used all those resources in house hunting. The maps, the pics, several r.e. sites, the appraisal district sites. The agents I used were not helpful to me much, though. They really weren't...in Tyler or here. They didn't know anything about the houses (whereas I knew a lot, having researched that house and area). They could tell me about the general area, maybe (but I had already researched the amenities nearby). I knew the zones, whether there was vacant land nearby and what it was zoned as, etc. They didn't know any of that. And I wouldn't expect them to. They show a lot of houses. They can't know all that detail about all those houses.

But you see...I did all that research before. For over a year before I sold my house. But the market changed last year, and long story short...it didn't happen for me. What matters is what's going on at the time I plan on selling. I'm working out a plan on paper, as posters suggested...to prepare my house to sell. When I think it's ready, then I'll make decisions at that time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:05 PM
 
710 posts, read 395,440 times
Reputation: 1065
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
True. The dogs were a problem, when I checked on it before. However, one of my dogs died (which has added to my issues here), so it's better having just the one. And I did locate previously ONE place that would let me lease with my dogs, the catch being the lease term and the cost (if that place would still allow it). A little pricey because of the dogs, and a 6 mo. lease. Most places for rent require a 1 year lease, with some allowing 6 mos. (Well, there is another option if I'm desperate; there are sometimes small houses for lease in a bad part of town, but I think that would not be safe.)

Another issue with renting is...it would take off the price of house I could afford. There are also extra costs for storage of my 3 bedroom house full of stuff. Then I'd have to set up utilities in my own name (deposits, initial service fees). So no, I don't want to rent. But I would have to see. If it turns out I need only a month of renting, as another poster suggested, staying in an economical hotel/motel might be the way to go. I've already stayed in one there a number of times with my dogs. It was great for my needs.
You are retired, why do you need to keep all 3 bedrooms? I downsized from 4 to 3 to 2 to 1 and am now back to 2 bedrooms. I wish I hadn't gone back to 2, the "stuff" is just weighing me down. Good luck with what you decide to do, it's your life and your money, you need to be happy!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:22 PM
 
10,265 posts, read 6,491,094 times
Reputation: 10837
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanyBelle View Post
You are retired, why do you need to keep all 3 bedrooms? I downsized from 4 to 3 to 2 to 1 and am now back to 2 bedrooms. I wish I hadn't gone back to 2, the "stuff" is just weighing me down. Good luck with what you decide to do, it's your life and your money, you need to be happy!
It'a always nice to have a guest room. You could always get rid of the stuff.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:25 PM
 
710 posts, read 395,440 times
Reputation: 1065
Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeIsGood01 View Post
It'a always nice to have a guest room. You could always get rid of the stuff.
Yep, the second bedroom is my guest bedroom, but it's been filled with "stuff" I don't really need... and I'm feeling too lazy to clear it out... lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-11-2018, 04:07 PM
 
10,265 posts, read 6,491,094 times
Reputation: 10837
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanyBelle View Post
Yep, the second bedroom is my guest bedroom, but it's been filled with "stuff" I don't really need... and I'm feeling too lazy to clear it out... lol
Me too, I get overwhelmed and want to keep everything. Then I put it in my shed never to use it again or to find something when I need it. I don't even remember what I have in there. but it's too much and I have to move more junk from the closets into the shed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-12-2018, 12:31 AM
 
6,164 posts, read 3,249,243 times
Reputation: 12502
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanyBelle View Post
You are retired, why do you need to keep all 3 bedrooms? I downsized from 4 to 3 to 2 to 1 and am now back to 2 bedrooms. I wish I hadn't gone back to 2, the "stuff" is just weighing me down. Good luck with what you decide to do, it's your life and your money, you need to be happy!
I don't see what being retired has to do with it. I still do the same things I did before. I sleep on a bed, keep clothes in a dresser, read a book, sit on a sofa, keep my office supplies in my desk, etc.

I had a 1563sq house before. My stuff all comes from that small house. So it's not as much as most people have. Although that smallish house did have 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. The rooms were small. I have 2 bedrooms of furniture...and a rolltop desk for the study.

You should think in terms of square footage, not bedrooms. Bedrooms are just dividers in the square footage. I have a 2200sf house, which is on the small side for this area. In fact, mine is the smallest house in my subdivision.

I would prefer to have an older, small cottage, but that didn't happen. The flippers and investors have gobbled those up where I was looking.

When you move, though, you realize how much stuff you have once you get all the pots & pans out and boxed up, the dishes, the small appliances, the clothes, stuff from cubbyholes, Aunt Bertha's silver utensils, etc.

What REALLY took up space when I moved were the several large pieces I have. I have an antique rolltop desk, an armoire (which I now use as a closet since this house doesn't have any closets in general areas), and an armoire/small entertainment center.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Real Estate
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top