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Old 03-13-2018, 09:00 AM
 
4,066 posts, read 2,055,040 times
Reputation: 7193

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Moving in desperate haste did not work the first time and it probably won’t work the second time.

Eight months is not that long. Maybe talk to both RE agents and mental health counselor? Depression might be clouding your ability to see other solutions besides jumping out immediately.
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Old 03-16-2018, 07:26 PM
 
12,607 posts, read 14,609,308 times
Reputation: 14096
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
If youíre that unhappy move! If you canít find another house to buy than rent.
I agree with this. But if you sell it and buy another house in a hurry, you might be in the same predicament again. I'd sell it and then rent until you find another house that you absolutely love.
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Old 04-17-2018, 02:15 PM
 
43 posts, read 29,050 times
Reputation: 35
I'm actually in a similar situation. In our case we followed our kids/grandkids from affordable Texas back to where they grew up in New Jersey where it is very expensive, the property taxes are terrible and we went from a decent 4 bedroom to a teeny tiny condo (all we could afford) that we hate a little less than a year ago.


Yes, we did this to ourselves knowing what we were getting into. And yes I know we shouldn't follow our kids around, but we are a close family and have never been apart and so we did this. I personally dislike New Jersey very much, it is not "me". My husband and I very much want to move to North Carolina but it is difficult to leave family and it is going to cost us to move again. So here we sit, no liking NJ or the tiny place we purchased for cash and pining away for North Carolina.
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Old 04-17-2018, 03:02 PM
 
Location: The middle
468 posts, read 225,998 times
Reputation: 1634
^^^^^
If you can afford it, move to North Carolina. You might as well be happy. Who knows, your kids might follow you there. Also, if they move away from New Jersey for whatever reason then you will be stuck there alone. Move to where you will be happy.
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Old 04-17-2018, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
7,754 posts, read 6,114,541 times
Reputation: 6882
so move.

it will cost you money - to move your stuff. you may come out ahead or way behind on the real estate cost of it - but don't overlook that you had to spend the year living somewhere. Nobody knows right now. But happiness never costs that much.
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Old 04-17-2018, 03:05 PM
 
9,781 posts, read 7,647,539 times
Reputation: 6160
This is cold hearted and mean sounding. I mean you no harm.

It is a house. People are living under bridges.

My mom lost her 1st house to a fire. Totally gone. Years later, she built a house on the beach that we all loved. Storm got it. Lot and all. She then moved to California. My brother was there with his family. She got a house she loved. A builder shaved off the top of the mountain to build a subdivision. The winter rains came. The whole damn mountain came down on her house. Mud, boulders, houses. Nothing left but the Kirby and the kitchen table. While talking on the phone begging her to move in with us in St. Louis. She said why, so I can hide in the basement from the tornados.

Before retiring, DH would get transferred a lot. We lived in 18 houses in 25 years. Many times we moved into towns where I knew not one soul. Sometimes, it takes a long time to find a friend who is on the same wavelength. Give it time. You may be grieving the loss of your old life. I did that a lot.

Fix the house like you want it. If it needs a roof and HVAC, it may take time to find a buyer. You are gonna have to live in it until you find a buyer.

I want to move to Florida. It would cost 50 grand, commission and moving. I can take a lot a trips with that kind of money.

Like the song said, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if ya want to. My intention was not to be rude.
just another way to look at it.
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Old 04-17-2018, 09:40 PM
 
Location: North
809 posts, read 1,270,843 times
Reputation: 956
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove View Post
If it took you a year to buy something and you hate it now, what makes you think you will find something you like if you "hurry up and try to buy something in a new city"? I mean, what are the odds?
Agree. I think the house is not the issue...
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Old 04-18-2018, 08:37 AM
 
3,460 posts, read 1,980,913 times
Reputation: 7854
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Thanks for your (and the other) response.

I'm retired.

I won't have the energy to move in several years, I think. And I risk having to replace the a/c, since it's old ($9,000) and/or the roof ($10,000). So I won't save any money by staying longer.

Yes, I'm in a mess. I know I'll take a loss. I just wondered if I might be able to get the same.

Agents will tell me I can get more for it than I can. That's how they work in this area. So I can get a CMA, but I might be better off doing my own....
(Snip)

... Yes, I'm in quite a predicament. I'm seriously depressed. I can't stay for several years. I guess I'll just have to take the loss and live like a pauper.

I guess I get a contract on my house then hurry up and try to buy something in a new city?
First are you sure you'll take a loss? Have it appraised. Unless you bought at the top of the market, and it has gone down, almost every real estate area across the country is growing.

Second, are you sure agents operate that way only there? Tgey do that every where. The list at day $99,900 knowing unless its a real hot market tgat people will negotiate down the price. If you do have a stable or not market, you may do well but DO finish off the little thibgs, like hanging the drapes.

Your last line bothers me A LOT. I am afraid you will jump from the frying pan into the fire!
BEFORE you get your house appraised and put on the market, RESEARCH AND VISIT you new area THOROUGHLY. OTGERWISE, you'll jump to buy something new just to get out of there.
If also suggest you put stiff into storage and RENT for at least a year in your new chosen area and figure out if you really want to live there, and where you can reasonably expect to buy. Taje only a few things you'll need to rent, minimally live in it and only move your stuff from storage after you are sure you are buying and habe bought in your new area.

Since you only habe one move left in you, DO IT RIGHT this time. DON'T do it wrong and have to come here to complain you don't like the new area/house either.

Getting out of a funk, whether weather related, or over a mistake made can be daunting to get over, but be careful as,we tend to repeat mistakes, not actually learn from them.

Good luck.
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Old 04-18-2018, 10:04 AM
 
Location: Olympia area (for now)
1,058 posts, read 350,574 times
Reputation: 2056
Quote:
Originally Posted by galaxyhi View Post
First are you sure you'll take a loss? Have it appraised. Unless you bought at the top of the market, and it has gone down, almost every real estate area across the country is growing.

Second, are you sure agents operate that way only there? Tgey do that every where. The list at day $99,900 knowing unless its a real hot market tgat people will negotiate down the price. If you do have a stable or not market, you may do well but DO finish off the little thibgs, like hanging the drapes.

Your last line bothers me A LOT. I am afraid you will jump from the frying pan into the fire!
BEFORE you get your house appraised and put on the market, RESEARCH AND VISIT you new area THOROUGHLY. OTGERWISE, you'll jump to buy something new just to get out of there.
If also suggest you put stiff into storage and RENT for at least a year in your new chosen area and figure out if you really want to live there, and where you can reasonably expect to buy. Taje only a few things you'll need to rent, minimally live in it and only move your stuff from storage after you are sure you are buying and habe bought in your new area.

Since you only habe one move left in you, DO IT RIGHT this time. DON'T do it wrong and have to come here to complain you don't like the new area/house either.

Getting out of a funk, whether weather related, or over a mistake made can be daunting to get over, but be careful as,we tend to repeat mistakes, not actually learn from them.

Good luck.
This a great post, galaxyhi! I hope the OP reads it and takes it to heart, and I will too. After slightly over a year of living here, I hate this area more than a year ago, if that’s possible. Making a stupid and rushed decision has cost a lot of extra stress and having to move again.

I’ve really thought hard about what I like in a house and area. A farm property isn’t it. For instance, a nice patio area for enjoying the outdoors is important. This property has nothing but an aggregate slab and even though it’s now painted and covered in plants, it’s still awful compared to the last house which had a flagstone covered area around the pool and a built in BBQ. My spouse really hates it, and being a bare country property, we’re in full view of the creeps on top of the hill. A leafy horse suburb an hour from a city would have been so much better. Spouse also hates mowing this huge grass lot and I hear about it. Frequently.

Anyway, the point you made about researching and thinking of the things that are important before buying is so true. Likewise the area and I’d rent before buying if we didn’t have horses and dogs. The OP can easily rent, and I hope she reads and listens to your advise. Are you taking notes, OP?

Last edited by Taz22; 04-18-2018 at 10:30 AM..
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Old 04-28-2018, 11:35 AM
 
6,166 posts, read 3,251,225 times
Reputation: 12502
[quote=pikabike;51293704]Moving in desperate haste did not work the first time and it probably won’t work the second time.

Eight months is not that long. Maybe talk to both RE agents and mental health counselor? Depression might be clouding your ability to see other solutions besides jumping out immediately.[/QUOTE

I'm not moving in desperate haste. I have no mental health issues.

With each passing month, I dream more and more of moving away from this hellhole.

RE agents? LOL. That must be a joke.
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