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Old 04-02-2018, 10:38 PM
 
6,121 posts, read 3,316,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23 View Post
Oh my goodness yes ^^^^^. I feel like most of the burden is on you.
Whoa! Who decided it was the man's job to determine if a boundary was encroached, if it represented a problem and how to deal with the situation? It seems to me that if there are two names on the deed they should be equally responsible. Are you guys promoting some kind of double standard here?
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Old 04-02-2018, 11:19 PM
 
2,215 posts, read 753,524 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
Whoa! Who decided it was the man's job to determine if a boundary was encroached, if it represented a problem and how to deal with the situation? It seems to me that if there are two names on the deed they should be equally responsible. Are you guys promoting some kind of double standard here?
"You guys"? I'm a woman, but anyway when you are married it involves team work. That's the name of the game.
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Old 04-03-2018, 12:56 AM
 
6,121 posts, read 3,316,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23 View Post
"You guys"? I'm a woman, but anyway when you are married it involves team work. That's the name of the game.
You may be a woman but Alaska Erik, who you were agreeing with, is probably a guy. Team work would begin in this case with accurately determining exactly where the boundary lies and if there was a reason to take any action. Perhaps the husband is not convinced that there is a problem or that one landmark and a telephone box are sufficient to establish where the property line actually lies. The OP has already stated she is unwilling to pay for a surveyor to make that determination.
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Old 04-03-2018, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
8,139 posts, read 7,463,231 times
Reputation: 17039
But didn't one of the neighbors put up a shed on your property? How will the fence work?
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:12 AM
 
972 posts, read 279,560 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
How do I turn off notifications for this thread? You are wearing me out!
Oh I'm with the popcorn guy.
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:16 AM
 
972 posts, read 279,560 times
Reputation: 1421
Quote:
Originally Posted by CindyRoos View Post
Well Hellllllllo Everyone!
Sorry to keep ya hanging over the weekend but I usually don't go on City Data over the weekend. Plus, I left work early on Friday. Anywho, it was Reallly Realllllly Cold over the weekend so nothing got done outside. (19 degrees and this is spring in Wisconsin? Unacceptable! LOL ) Fencing should be coming today or tomorrow. Since my hubby has backed out of sending the letter (and we Both need to be on the same page), we are simply going to put up the partial fence as soon as the ground is thawed out enough to bury the posts. We are not going to say anything to the neighbors unless they inquiry about the fence when we are putting it up or after the fact. We are placing no trespassing signs on the fence. As far as the neighbor with the lawnmower and canoe on our property, we will simply move them when we are putting up the fence. We will have the survey in hand when doing so. We made copies and will gladly had one over if any neighbor asks. My spouse said "The less said the better". I'm just trying to be a team player here. It's really hard to make everyone happy. Gheeeeez.
It is too bad about your husband but I can see if you don't agree the neighbors will be saying SHE's the problem, he's nice. Combined with anger and it could get worse when they know they have an in...building/tossing more on your property. And your husband may come to say to an angry neighbor...well I never wanted her to send the letters. The whole things could be a mess with you being blamed when you didn't want it that way.

Maybe at some point there will be a need for taking a stand and your husband will agree.
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:39 AM
 
314 posts, read 244,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
determining exactly where the boundary lies and if there was a reason to take any action. Perhaps the husband is not convinced that there is a problem or that one landmark and a telephone box are sufficient to establish where the property line actually lies. The OP has already stated she is unwilling to pay for a surveyor to make that determination.

This is an interesting point. A landmark and telephone box mean nothing. Putting this fence up without any sort of survey has the potential to escalate things very quickly. Surveys are pretty cheap in the scheme of things, especially in situations like this.


At the very least - why not at least have an initial conversation with the neighbors?
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:53 AM
Status: "Living the good retired life." (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
5,855 posts, read 3,139,843 times
Reputation: 11816
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
Whoa! Who decided it was the man's job to determine if a boundary was encroached, if it represented a problem and how to deal with the situation? It seems to me that if there are two names on the deed they should be equally responsible. Are you guys promoting some kind of double standard here?
In my household I am the one who would deal with this type of issue. That's just the way it is. I guarantee you that any neighbor, especially an arrogant one, will take me much more seriously than they would my wife. I had a neighbor try the bully and intimidation routine on me once right after I had moved into a new neighborhood. It didn't work out too well for him and he never tried it again. It probably had something to do with me being retired military, including six years in the Marine Corps, and being retired LE. You can try and intimidate me, but you're not going to get anywhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm normally a pretty easy going guy, but try and push me and I'll push back way harder. That's why I handle any type of disputes.
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Old 04-03-2018, 11:46 AM
 
2,215 posts, read 753,524 times
Reputation: 3734
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23
"You guys"? I'm a woman, but anyway when you are married it involves team work. That's the name of the game.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kokonutty View Post
You may be a woman but Alaska Erik, who you were agreeing with, is probably a guy. Team work would begin in this case with accurately determining exactly where the boundary lies and if there was a reason to take any action. Perhaps the husband is not convinced that there is a problem or that one landmark and a telephone box are sufficient to establish where the property line actually lies. The OP has already stated she is unwilling to pay for a surveyor to make that determination.
You said: "Team work would begin in this case with accurately determining exactly where the boundary lies".

The accurate boundaries cannot be determined when one of the markers is missing. We've been all through this a million times already. It would only be guessing. Those other landmarks are not accurate enough to measure by. If that is all they use, then I expect them to be challenged. Even if they do go about it the right way they could still be met with resistance. No one knows if the neighbors are reasonable people, or not.

Teamwork would begin by not sending the OP over into a possibly dangerous situation to talk to people who could react badly all by herself. Asking her to painstakingly compose a letter, and then changing his mind about sending it. I've been reading that long thread about the survey mishap whose link was included much earlier. Very interesting indeed. What a mess! Those neighbors are crazy.

You said: " Perhaps the husband is not convinced that there is a problem". If that is so, then why start this thread? Of course there is a big problem, and a reason to take action. They can't even sell their place without accurate boundaries. It can't be done haphazardly. The problem won't go away by ignoring it. And he needs to help her more, and not leave it all up to her. It's very stressful on her. It's not because we don't think she is capable since she is a woman as you insinuated earlier. That is just plain silly.
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Old 04-03-2018, 11:59 AM
 
2,215 posts, read 753,524 times
Reputation: 3734
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaErik View Post
In my household I am the one who would deal with this type of issue. That's just the way it is. I guarantee you that any neighbor, especially an arrogant one, will take me much more seriously than they would my wife. I had a neighbor try the bully and intimidation routine on me once right after I had moved into a new neighborhood. It didn't work out too well for him and he never tried it again. It probably had something to do with me being retired military, including six years in the Marine Corps, and being retired LE. You can try and intimidate me, but you're not going to get anywhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm normally a pretty easy going guy, but try and push me and I'll push back way harder. That's why I handle any type of disputes.
^^^^^ This is what I like to hear. I'd want you on my side every time. The proper chain of command .
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