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It's a shame your husband is being so passive over this. There is a real problem and it needs to be taken care, which you obviously well understand. But, quite frankly, he should have taken the lead from day one in resolving this.
Yes, your absolutely right. I feel like I'm swimming upstream.....ugh
Whoa! Who decided it was the man's job to determine if a boundary was encroached, if it represented a problem and how to deal with the situation? It seems to me that if there are two names on the deed they should be equally responsible. Are you guys promoting some kind of double standard here?
House bought in 2003. Spouse and I were just living together. Married in 2006. House is not in my name.
You may be a woman but Alaska Erik, who you were agreeing with, is probably a guy. Team work would begin in this case with accurately determining exactly where the boundary lies and if there was a reason to take any action. Perhaps the husband is not convinced that there is a problem or that one landmark and a telephone box are sufficient to establish where the property line actually lies. The OP has already stated she is unwilling to pay for a surveyor to make that determination.
Spouse is the one who brought up the issue about neighbors encroaching on land. Spouse pulled out the "plat survey" done on this property when spouse bought this house. I simply wanted to put up a fence and I paid for the fencing materials. Spouse is unwilling to pay for a survey and I can't because I don't have the money. Spouse was ok with me sending the letter to the neighbor shed and items clearly on our land but now spouse backed out on letting me send letter. Spouse now says we will just put up the partial fence along the part where land has the woods.
Yeah, my hands are tied and I'm not too thrilled about it.
In my household I am the one who would deal with this type of issue. That's just the way it is. I guarantee you that any neighbor, especially an arrogant one, will take me much more seriously than they would my wife. I had a neighbor try the bully and intimidation routine on me once right after I had moved into a new neighborhood. It didn't work out too well for him and he never tried it again. It probably had something to do with me being retired military, including six years in the Marine Corps, and being retired LE. You can try and intimidate me, but you're not going to get anywhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm normally a pretty easy going guy, but try and push me and I'll push back way harder. That's why I handle any type of disputes.
I wish you had my back AlaskaErik!
"You said: "Team work would begin in this case with accurately determining exactly where the boundary lies".
The accurate boundaries cannot be determined when one of the markers is missing. We've been all through this a million times already. It would only be guessing. Those other landmarks are not accurate enough to measure by. If that is all they use, then I expect them to be challenged. Even if they do go about it the right way they could still be met with resistance. No one knows if the neighbors are reasonable people, or not.
Teamwork would begin by not sending the OP over into a possibly dangerous situation to talk to people who could react badly all by herself. Asking her to painstakingly compose a letter, and then changing his mind about sending it. I've been reading that long thread about the survey mishap whose link was included much earlier. Very interesting indeed. What a mess! Those neighbors are crazy.
You said: " Perhaps the husband is not convinced that there is a problem". If that is so, then why start this thread? Of course there is a big problem, and a reason to take action. They can't even sell their place without accurate boundaries. It can't be done haphazardly. The problem won't go away by ignoring it. And he needs to help her more, and not leave it all up to her. It's very stressful on her. It's not because we don't think she is capable since she is a woman as you insinuated earlier. That is just plain silly."
Thanks Mulu!
It really is a frustrating situation.
I would talk to the neighbors first and asked them, if they know that they are on your property. They night not know and you can solve it easy. If they tell you that they think they own the property they use, you need to get a survey. One thing is sure you need to act to avoid any kind of liabilities later.
Thanks for filling us in with more of the details. That clears things up a lot. Particularly about the place being in your husbands name, not yours . Yeah, there is only so much you can do since it's technically his place. If he doesn't want to step forward to deal with it all you can do is go along with what he says. Ultimately the responsibility is his, as will be the blame if things go south. You did the best you could do given the situation . You'll just have to back off a little, and let the cards fall where they may. Hugs.
Thanks for filling us in with more of the details. That clears things up a lot. Particularly about the place being in your husbands name, not yours . Yeah, there is only so much you can do since it's technically his place. If he doesn't want to step forward to deal with it all you can do is go along with what he says. Ultimately the responsibility is his, as will be the blame if things go south. You did the best you could do given the situation . You'll just have to back off a little, and let the cards fall where they may. Hugs.
I know after so many posts about this subject that it gets confusing LOL
I really am annoyed that my spouse is backing out now about this issue. I have explained "Adverse Possession" and said that once we sell and move it may be a big issue "Just so you know".
Can't believe that the issue is kind of being pushed aside. But, like I said, I'm still putting up the partial fence. If my Dad was alive he would chew my spouse out about ignoring this!
Thanks for the support Mlulu! I appreciate your understanding and cyber Hugs
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. Yeah, there is only so much you can do since it's technically his place. If he doesn't want to step forward to deal with it all you can do is go along with what he says. Ultimately the responsibility is his, as will be the blame if things go south. You did the best you could do given the situation 
