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Old 06-27-2018, 02:37 PM
 
193 posts, read 76,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaxPhd View Post
Do you think the deceased intended for her to have the house, and communicated that to her but failed to update the will, or is this just her own expectation/belief?
I have no idea, nor do the inheritors. As far as they knew, the estate was being split between the two of them. They said that they would not have been surprised if LIG got a cash amount or something specific that was sentimental in addition to cash or a car, etc. But I don't think either of them expected her to get the house as they still see it very much as their deceased mother's house. She was the one who picked it out and decorated it, lived in it for many years. LIG is a relatively new addition to this space.
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:43 PM
 
5,242 posts, read 2,391,659 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desperatedogadvice View Post
I have no idea, nor do the inheritors. As far as they knew, the estate was being split between the two of them. They said that they would not have been surprised if LIG got a cash amount or something specific that was sentimental in addition to cash or a car, etc. But I don't think either of them expected her to get the house as they still see it very much as their deceased mother's house. She was the one who picked it out and decorated it, lived in it for many years. LIG is a relatively new addition to this space.

That that wasn't provided for in the will makes makes me believe that the deceased did exactly what he intended to do.
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:44 PM
 
15,398 posts, read 8,702,899 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfcambridge View Post
Do you mean after a typical relationship break up, or after a death? It's different in my book.

I think it is quite kind and reasonable to consider the LIG's feelings and needs. Sounds like the kids were not that close with their father, if they barely know the girlfriend after them living together for 4-5 years. How wonderful for their father (and for the kids!) that he had this apparently healthy relationship late in life. I haven't heard anything critical posted about her. They also don't describe his death, whether he suffered from chronic illness or whether it was sudden, and if his LIG was doing significant caregiving late in life. If she was doing caregiving, for example, I would consider being even more generous to the LIG, as I understand a lot about caregiving and the stress involved.

LIG has a lot to deal with right now emotionally and financially, and we don't know anything about her situation, although she is incredibly lucky to have a family member willing to take her in with a casita.

I also wonder if this is exactly what the father would have wanted, in retrospect. Of course, we will never know. If you think everyone has their wills perfectly organized at the time of their death and allocate their monies/property/personal items carefully, well I've got a bridge to sell you..... Many people put it off, or just don't deal with it thinking "I'll have more time....."
Except we kind of "know". By not changing the will, he made his wishes known.

My mom has been single since I was just out of high school. She's dated on and off since then. She has a sizable estate. If she were to meet someone right now, she would never marry them. And she would never leave them a cent of her estate. Not because she's a horrible person, but because a few years of dating (even living together) doesn't come close to the lifetime she's had with her children.
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:46 PM
 
975 posts, read 534,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desperatedogadvice View Post
She commented over and over after the funeral that she had no idea she would not have "something to remember him by" and when asked she elaborated that she thought she would have a share in "their home." My husband and I heard this more than once. I don't think she thought for a moment that the house was not coming to her.
Oh boy. The statements about a share in "their home" makes the necessity of a lawyer even more important.

Sounds like the dad owned his home when she moved in. Pretty sweet deal to not have to contribute much, if any, money for her living expenses for several years.

I'm sure it was difficult to listen to the distraught woman at a funeral. It is a very emotional time for everybody. But I know many people who would not disinherit their children for a relatively short, unmarried relationship later in life.

The woman will not be homeless. She has a casita to live in with her child nearby. Mementos and perhaps some money for moving would be appropriate. If she wants to buy the house, so be it - perhaps her own children could help her but it sounds like an impossibility in a "hot" area. With her own children offering to take her in, she is not the responsibility of the deceased man's daughters who barely know her.
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:04 PM
 
193 posts, read 76,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4 View Post
Oh boy. The statements about a share in "their home" makes the necessity of a lawyer even more important.

Sounds like the dad owned his home when she moved in. Pretty sweet deal to not have to contribute much, if any, money for her living expenses for several years.

I'm sure it was difficult to listen to the distraught woman at a funeral. It is a very emotional time for everybody. But I know many people who would not disinherit their children for a relatively short, unmarried relationship later in life.

The woman will not be homeless. She has a casita to live in with her child nearby. Mementos and perhaps some money for moving would be appropriate. If she wants to buy the house, so be it - perhaps her own children could help her but it sounds like an impossibility in a "hot" area. With her own children offering to take her in, she is not the responsibility of the deceased man's daughters who barely know her.
Its so interesting to me how people have assumed gender in this situation. I have not indicated the gender of the inheritors at all. Fascinating.
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
7,798 posts, read 6,155,029 times
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[quote=phonelady61;52311020]
Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
I find it rather shameful of the deceased to leave a 70 year old live-in girlfriend of several years with nothing.


You and me both on this ^^^^^. what were they thinking they would live forever .I also think the deceased would be ashamed that his family is coming against this LGF .
Yes I think you all should offer her a percentage of the place's sell and let her take what she wants from the house that is the least you all can do .
actually, they could certainly offer it to the LIG at market value, and let her buy her way in.

If Dad wanted LIG in the will, he would have put her there. Hesitant child is projecting, without any expressed info from Dad.

As at least one person has pointed out, will or no she might have some legal claim depending on common law marriage statute but moreso contribution to the household expenses.
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:12 PM
 
5,242 posts, read 2,391,659 times
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[quote=BoBromhal;52326750]
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post

actually, they could certainly offer it to the LIG at market value, and let her buy her way in.

If Dad wanted LIG in the will, he would have put her there. Hesitant child is projecting, without any expressed info from Dad.

As at least one person has pointed out, will or no she might have some legal claim depending on common law marriage statute but moreso contribution to the household expenses.

So, contributing to gas and electric would create a legal claim on the house? No necessity to actually contribute to the mortgage?
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:14 PM
 
975 posts, read 534,051 times
Reputation: 3391
Quote:
Originally Posted by desperatedogadvice View Post
Its so interesting to me how people have assumed gender in this situation. I have not indicated the gender of the inheritors at all. Fascinating.
I thought I read somewhere along in the thread that the heirs were daughters. My fault alone if I am wrong!
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,450 posts, read 24,253,264 times
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Evict her ASAP!
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
7,798 posts, read 6,155,029 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaxPhd View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoBromhal View Post


So, contributing to gas and electric would create a legal claim on the house? No necessity to actually contribute to the mortgage?
because of phonelady's mistyping, you're actually quoting my post.

Let's say she moved in, and she paid 20-50% of the total household expenses, including whatever the housing cost.

It doesn't *sound like* there was a mortgage (having owned the house many years, as well as no mention of keeping up with payments after Dad's death). What if there wasn't and she paid the property taxes?

Heck, we don't know who's paying utilities right now.

I don't know the laws where this property is, and I don't know this specific law anywhere. I'm stating a consideration before they tell LIG to move along.

I stand by what I gave as a gameplan though - tell her you're selling, offer it to her at a discount, and also give her a reasonable (90-120 days is AMPLE) time to buy or leave.
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