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Old 02-02-2019, 04:52 PM
 
4,794 posts, read 2,433,553 times
Reputation: 8751

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
So what's your point?

I don't think I insisted they would take my lowball offer. Whatever. If they want to sell, they have to lower the price. As it sits and sits, it further supports my assertion that it's way overpriced.

You said the seller would get desperate enough to accept your offer if you waited longer.

As many readers of that thread stated, you are emotionally attached to a house that is not for sale at your price.

It sounds like you are using the threat of dying early to guilt your husband into making another offer.

I am sure you will not like this bluntly stated perception. Have a nice day regardless.
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Old 02-02-2019, 04:55 PM
 
3,068 posts, read 740,209 times
Reputation: 2479
Quote:
Originally Posted by twingles View Post
This would be a very easy cross town move from what I'm getting. What you really need to know (you, not us) is - Is your husband ACTIVELY ANTI MOVE or just not interested? There is a BIG difference. If you sat down with him and said "you know that house at 123 Smith St? I really think we can get it for "X" amount and I want it if we can. Are you on board with that?" Don't take a wishy-washy "I don't see why we have to move" for an answer. This is the time to delve deep and ask him - if it looks like when can get it, can we put in an offer and buy it, or will you make my life a living hell for "making" you move?

Once you have a mature and rational discussion about this using DEFINTE terms, you will have your answer. But the conjecturing is not going to cut it. I get the impression you are the type of person that throw out a lot of "what ifs" (not judging at all - really) and your husband just thinks this is another "what if" - not that you would definitely move into this house if you could.
I have been definitive. I have been wanting to move for 13 years. Seriously, this is the ONLY house in 13 years I wanted to bother with. I am not the 'what if' person. HE IS. What if the economy crashes again? What if he loses his job? What if alien spaceships invade earth? HE is the what if person.

He is actively anti move.

He agreed to make the lowball offer and we agreed to a max number (which we didn't counter with yet). I told him that I wouldn't pay more than that either and if they sell it for more, he is off the hook because I wouldn't have paid that anyway. He will agree to make the max offer. My concern is if we move, will he throw every thing back in my face....if something breaks or something...

I know deep down he wants me to be happy and deep down, I want him to be happy. I know you might think I am exaggerating when I say, I will NOT find another house in the neighborhood I love as much as this one. And if I do in two years, he will just say we shouldn't do it because we should downsize. He already tried to use that one but I am not buying it because we will still have our kids for several years to come. So really it's now or never. My hope is that we can make and offer and if they say no, I can just forget it because at that point, there is nothing I can do. I still think that eventually, they will come around because, as I said, the house is way overpriced. I know every comp and every sale for the last few years.
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Old 02-02-2019, 04:57 PM
 
3,068 posts, read 740,209 times
Reputation: 2479
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
You said the seller would get desperate enough to accept your offer if you waited longer.

As many readers of that thread stated, you are emotionally attached to a house that is not for sale at your price.

It sounds like you are using the threat of dying early to guilt your husband into making another offer.

I am sure you will not like this bluntly stated perception. Have a nice day regardless.
No, I am not using the thread of dying early. My point in mentioning that is I want to live my life. His life is going to work and coming home. He loves his job and lives to work and I just don't live my life that way.
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Old 02-02-2019, 05:01 PM
 
3,068 posts, read 740,209 times
Reputation: 2479
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
You said the seller would get desperate enough to accept your offer if you waited longer.

As many readers of that thread stated, you are emotionally attached to a house that is not for sale at your price.

It sounds like you are using the threat of dying early to guilt your husband into making another offer.

I am sure you will not like this bluntly stated perception. Have a nice day regardless.
I don't understand why anyone cares if the seller accepts my price or not. What's it to you if I make a low offer? Do you think their is another plausible explanation for a house sitting on the market for 9 months with no other offers? Every single valuation website has it priced significantly lower than what they are asking and I see the comps. I used to be an appraiser so I know how to appraise a property. And if I were unreasonably emotional about it, I would be more likely to overpay, not underpay. If I wanted to offer full ask, you might have an argument. But it doesn't make sense that you would offer lower than market if you were just being emotional.
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Old 02-02-2019, 05:04 PM
 
10,345 posts, read 7,944,474 times
Reputation: 25505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
So what's your point?

I don't think I insisted they would take my lowball offer. Whatever. If they want to sell, they have to lower the price. As it sits and sits, it further supports my assertion that it's way overpriced.
So, you've made the offer and it was rejected? Okay. Since this is the only house you wanted and they said no, isn't it time to move on? Are you waiting for them to have a change of heart?

Your husband doesn't want to move. Does he know you made an offer on the house?

This whole thing is beginning to sound like other issues that have nothing to do with real estate.
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Old 02-02-2019, 05:10 PM
 
3,068 posts, read 740,209 times
Reputation: 2479
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
So, you've made the offer and it was rejected? Okay. Since this is the only house you wanted and they said no, isn't it time to move on? Are you waiting for them to have a change of heart?

Your husband doesn't want to move. Does he know you made an offer on the house?

This whole thing is beginning to sound like other issues that have nothing to do with real estate.
Of course he knows we made an offer. He signed it. But that was not the top offer we had agreed to.

We were waiting for several things before submitting our best offer that were all financial. Those have all been clarified.
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Old 02-02-2019, 08:16 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,463 posts, read 2,360,182 times
Reputation: 8707
Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life in the Chicago suburbs?

I have read many posts of yours in forums about how you would love to leave Illinois but cannot (husband's career, children in school). Your husband has likely heard you make these comments, too. Does he want to stay in the Chicago area for the rest of his life, or is he hoping to move, maybe to a warmer and/or sunnier location, once he retires and the kids graduate? Maybe he foresees moving then and only then and does not want an intermediate move now, only to have to move again in 8-10-12 years.

Your husband is the most important person to ask "How long would you plan to live somewhere to buy a house?".

Just a thought.
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Old 02-02-2019, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
8,464 posts, read 6,645,304 times
Reputation: 7581
you may not like, you may disagree, but ...

this is not a real estate issue.

this belongs in the Relationships forum.
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Old 02-03-2019, 10:04 AM
 
3,068 posts, read 740,209 times
Reputation: 2479
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life in the Chicago suburbs?

I have read many posts of yours in forums about how you would love to leave Illinois but cannot (husband's career, children in school). Your husband has likely heard you make these comments, too. Does he want to stay in the Chicago area for the rest of his life, or is he hoping to move, maybe to a warmer and/or sunnier location, once he retires and the kids graduate? Maybe he foresees moving then and only then and does not want an intermediate move now, only to have to move again in 8-10-12 years.

Your husband is the most important person to ask "How long would you plan to live somewhere to buy a house?".

Just a thought.
We have never discussed where we want to live in retirement much. He is only starting to actually talk about retiring. He used to say he was going to work until he dropped dead.

We both feel the same way about Illinois. The difference between us is, I recognize we are stuck here for at least 10 more years (which he does now too) so I figure me might as well make the best of it. I only kind of figured this out recently as my friends start sending their kids off to college. I thought the kids will feel uprooted if you move when they graduate from high school and we assessed when my husband could retire. We only then recognized we are stuck for 10 more years.

We discussed it and decided to make our best offer and if they don't accept, then there is nothing else we need to do. In a way, the answer is right there because if they won't accept our best offer, it's a moot point.
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Old 02-03-2019, 10:05 AM
 
3,068 posts, read 740,209 times
Reputation: 2479
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoBromhal View Post
you may not like, you may disagree, but ...

this is not a real estate issue.

this belongs in the Relationships forum.
I don't disagree. The reason I put it here was because my initial question is, if you knew that you were going to live somewhere for 10 years +, would you buy a different house or is that too short a time horizon?
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