Living next to or near a cemetery. (2013, value, rating)
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I've been casually researching condominiums, and I found that some of them are very close to cemeteries, like on the same block or within 1/4 of a mile. Maybe that's not true for most people, but I'm just not comfortable with that. It's, well... kind of depressing. I realize that no one lives forever, I just prefer not to be reminded about it whenever I leave home and again when I return. Or even worse, having it right in front of my eyes outside my window.
I suppose it's kind of different with historic cemeteries or inactive military cemeteries, where no new deceased are being buried. Which likens them to very serious museums, rather than burial sites. But functioning modern cemeteries don't always have the graceful aesthetics of historic ones, which dampens the depressing part. Or the stone walls, which mask the cemetery altogether, and give it sense of mystery without taking things into the paranormal territory.
I suppose the same can be said about venues like memorials for the Holocaust or POW MIA's. There's a Holocaust museum in Skokie, IL, and a high-rise glass-and-steel condominium went up nearby not too long ago. I may be Jewish, but I wouldn't feel comfortable living there, either, for obvious reasons. In fact, when I was in Yad VaShem Museum (a Holocaust memorial) in Jerusalem, the tour guide said to the group: "If this museum feels sad to you, it should. It's as close to a cemetery as these people will ever have." (Jewish religion places very high importance on having proper resting places for the deceased.)
How do others on City-Data feel? OK, depressing, or something else?
The only way I would worry about it is in a zombie apocalypse
I picked Other because I LOVE it and have lived near or next to several cemeteries. They're essentially gorgeous parks with graves. I've always liked wandering through and reading them and thinking about what their stories might have been. It's a great place to go for walks, especially if you need a good cry. I have a few favorites to gush out my issues to, talk out loud, cry, and in - almost always - absolute privacy. A few have brooks running through and the kids and I would find crawdads and play in them on hot summer days. If you live next door, there's often beautiful music and something heartwarming to watch. Bagpipes, musicians, Taps playing and the gun-salute...
But I do, always, tell them I'm done and they may not leave the cemetery with me or my children or friends. I thank them for listening and being good company but it's time for us to leave, alone. I'll be back to visit on another day. Our kids say this now too.
When my husband and I were first married, we lived above a florist next to the cemetery. As with most couples, the first year was the hardest... and with my husband terrified of going into the cemetery, it's where I fled when I needed time to think and get away. He never dared to follow me in.
As a youngster, I learned all the fearful, scary, ignorant details without the facts. Was even told by some deacon I'd go to hell....and I told mom, maybe I was around 9 , and she told me that was ok, I didn't have to go back. Little did I know my folks had discussed that, and that was the catch, it was ok for me to go as long as I didn't object and the moment I did, I didn't have to go back, and so it was. I eventually found my own way.
Working 2nd shift and not married left me with time to watch plenty of tv.....one day in the wee hours, maybe 3-4am I caught some old guy talking about the 3earth ages, and he got my attention. After studying with someone else and quitting cause it wasn't working for me, this man explained chapter by chapter and verse by verse and after studying awhile it all started to make sense to me.
Anyways, nobody is in a hole in the ground their spirit left their flesh the moment they died, and they're in another dimension, is what I learned, so the cemetary no longer has any fearful or scary connotations for me, just peace and quiet, and some memories for folks. Less room for noisy neighbors to disturb the peace.....
lots of folks bury their deceased pets in their yards. seldom do they remove the remains when they move way.
My family tends to plant memorial shrubs or trees on top of loved ones - beloved pets and miscarried babies (not stillborn or anywhere near full term... I'd say 13-16 weeks or less.) There are MANY roses and lilac trees planted around. My husband wanted to plant peonies on top of one once and my mother and I were aghast... he didn't understand how you have to SPLIT peonies out of the ground. Not appropriate for a grave plant.
I picked other because it depends upon the individual cemetery.
For example, a town cemetery in New England is not going to change in your lifetime. It will always be a green and quiet place. So, for me, great to live next door.
On the other hand, we have cemetery here in Denver that lost its water rights due to mismanagement. Now, it is brown and dusty and completely neglected. While quiet, would not want to live next to it. And, of course, everyone from the East Coast is going "what are water rights?".
Anyways, nobody is in a hole in the ground their spirit left their flesh the moment they died, and they're in another dimension, is what I learned, so the cemetery no longer has any fearful or scary connotations for me, just peace and quiet, and some memories for folks. Less room for noisy neighbors to disturb the peace.....
This sounds a lot like the Jewish view on death/afterlife. Judaism recognizes the concept of a soul, and believes that it goes "somewhere else" after death. "Where somewhere else?" The Old Testament mentions the Sheol, which translates from Hebrew as "a place where nothing happens" (from the living point of view), but the religion doesn't specify much beyond that. The graves of the deceased are strictly physical restring places, even if treated with great care and dignity, per Jewish law.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoBromhal
just to really give you the willies ...
lots of folks bury their deceased pets in their yards. seldom do they remove the remains when they move way.
Doesn't apply to me; I'm looking at condominiums, not single houses, which means no backyard. If my hypothetical dog or cat died, I'd probably take it to a real pet cemetery (normal spelling, not Stephen King's ). There's one about 15 miles from me.
Give me a beautiful Victorian house with everything original, an upstairs balcony, with ornate stained glass windows next to a super cool old cemetery, and I'll move from my house.
There are several places I have lived and driven by where there are vast cemeteries and medium sized to tiny family plots.
Living by one. It depends. Much like how it depends on the house itself one would buy.
Large professional cemetery or smaller family plot?
What's near the cemetery, what's on the other side. Bad neighborhood? What's in the cemetery at night...like people getting high or drunk or dealing under cover of night in a place not a lot of people would go to otherwise. Dangerous? Noisy? Home thefts?
Upkeep. Has it been let go long ago. Or a more professional type with nicely mown grass, well tended landscaping.
What are my rights and what are the rights of people visiting. If it's not upkeep to my liking can I call someone to mow. I looked at an property a few times and finally did not go with it because it was further out than I wanted but it seriously occurred to me that the family had left the little cemetery in sad shape and that if I lived there I would not have minded doing some mowing.
Are there still plots for burials whether a larger cemetery or a private family cemetery. Will I get notice if there is a burial coming up. What are the cemetery manager's expectations then about my driving by or quiet time or timing of events. How about if I have a child's party planned for months?
How far from the daily life is the cemetery and how much would it effect daily life to see unannounced people every few days laying flowers.
I don't think I would like to live next to a cemetery. The neighbors would be too noisy with all of the wild parties all night long. At least the yard is well kept.
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