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Old 10-07-2019, 09:42 AM
5,736 posts, read 2,653,163 times
Reputation: 16492


Originally Posted by iSudo View Post
Lol, oh trust me, been down this path already.

You'll have to pull up my other couple of threads about my experiences thus far.

Dealing with agents is definitely dealing with a different breed than I'm used to in my day-to-day life.
Yeah, they'll treat you like dirt now, at the tippy-top of the bubble market. I remember back in '06 and '07 when you practically had to beg them to even call you back.

Watch the attitudes change next time the market goes south. All of a sudden butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.

I basically chalk it up to the standard sales person's personality type. Seen it a thousand times.
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:46 AM
Location: planet earth
5,461 posts, read 2,127,578 times
Reputation: 12170
OP: You know it's not normal behavior, and "agents," are just people - so there are not personality traits that all share. You met a weirdo, end of story.
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Old 10-07-2019, 10:05 AM
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
3,864 posts, read 9,419,278 times
Reputation: 7595
I have never asked any interviewer why I didn't get the job. I move on.

I have never had any other professional ask why they didn't get the job. I had 2 plumbers out for an estimate the other day. The one I didn't pick never called to ask why.

I do not give feedback to agents, either. I would never risk offending an agent who may potentially have a buyer for my house.

Also, as harsh as this may sound, I just don't care about the agents I didn't pick. I don't want to develop the other agent, make them a better agent, help them build their business or anything of that sort. I don't have time for that. I'm in the stressful situation of trying to sell and/or buy a house.

I think real estate agents have "feedback" confused with "follow-up". To me, there is a big difference. Feedback makes a request of me. Follow-up is work on the other person's part.

That plumber I didn't hire? Yeah, he sent a follow-up email, thanking me for contacting him and offering a coupon on my next plumbing job. I think real estate agents could learn something from my plumber, quite frankly.

Last edited by bande1102; 10-07-2019 at 10:40 AM..
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Old 10-07-2019, 11:04 AM
Location: Research Triangle Area, NC
3,984 posts, read 2,746,861 times
Reputation: 5827
Originally Posted by BoBromhal View Post
well, let's write off the belligerent buffoon as unprofessional and unworthy of further concern.

I don't see anything wrong with a relatively gentle "May I ask what factor caused you to choose the other agent?" ... because I do it frequently. Whether you choose to answer or not, it's merely a method for them to possibly improve in the future.

Sometimes it's "they said a higher price" or "they're charging me less" (which is the Seller's option to answer such a confidential matter).

Sometimes it's as simple as "the other agent raved about putting the house on MLS" - and years ago this actually happened to me. Not of course because we wouldn't be on MLS, but it was a simple oversight on my part to forget to mention just a basic everyday thing that OF COURSE was going to happen.

And I don't see anything wrong with applying for a job, having an in-person interview, not getting the job, and following up with the interviewer to ask where you may have fallen short as a choice.
What he said.
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Old 10-07-2019, 11:32 AM
Location: Salem, OR
14,154 posts, read 33,402,955 times
Reputation: 13177
Originally Posted by iSudo View Post
My spouse and I don't interview real estate agents often, but our most recent experience has been quite alarming and eye opening. First off, we're both working professionals. When we interview for positions and don't get the offer, it's par for the course to count your losses and just move on to the next thing. It's certainly a major faux pas to badger your interviewer as to why you didn't get the job.

Last week, we interviewed four agents. The first agent was from one of the "big box" agencies that center around the online experience. This agent was by far one of the most belligerent and hostile of the pack. In one of our initial follow-ups, he boasted about how he was #1 in the region and how his ego was hurt because we considered other agents over him. His response to the "rejection" email was by far the most shocking thing my spouse or I have experienced during this process. He explained how we were making a big mistake with choosing another agent, and how (he assumed) we were given inaccurate portrayals of his agency by these other agents. Funny thing is that none of the other agents we interviewed had any idea who else we had interviewed.

The other batch of responses were far less hostile, but still a bit intrusive in my opinion. Some asked who else we went with. Others asked for feedback as to why they didn't get the job. Some even alluded to the idea that since they weren't interviewed last, that they missed out on the opportunity. Granted, we liked 3 of the 4 agents very much. They were all referrals to us by peers and friends. At the end of the day, we made the best decision we could based on gut instinct.

Now, color me ignorant, but this behavior was completely unexpected and left us both feeling uneasy about this process. As I said before, working in professional settings for over a decade, it is generally ill-advised to badger your interviewer as to why you were rejected for a position. The best course of action is to say "thank you" and move on to the next opportunity.

Do these same rules not apply to real estate agents?
So the thing about real estate is that it is a highly competitive profession. I know it doesn't seem that way to consumers but agents have to work hard to get business. So there is a group of trainers that strongly encourage agents to ask for feedback so that they can improve their listing presentations. I personally do not subscribe to this thought process, but I know agents that do. I personally think it is weird.

I don't think it is the consumer's job to tell us we need to improve. I've always only lost to other good agents (I check when the listing goes into the MLS) and I generally know in the presentation if I'm going to get hired or not. I can tell if the potential client is on board with my presentation and style or if they aren't.

I don't think you are ignorant. I think you are seeing the ugly side of the highly competitive underbelly of real estate. You lucked out in that you didn't pick the belligerent agent and the victim mindset of the agent that didn't think they got the job because they didn't go last. Sounds like your gut was a good thing.
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Old 10-07-2019, 02:00 PM
Location: Colorado
202 posts, read 48,902 times
Reputation: 915
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post

Also, as harsh as this may sound, I just don't care about the agents I didn't pick.

LOL. My wife hates when I say "I don't care" but sometimes I just don't care.
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Old 10-07-2019, 02:58 PM
833 posts, read 641,323 times
Reputation: 835
Originally Posted by iSudo View Post
Like I said, I don't mind giving feedback if it's requested in an appropriate manner. We did that in our initial "rejection" emails to them, and we thought we were being polite with that response. But it just opened us up to criticism of our final decision at least in the one case.

The unprofessionalism is what bothers me. This doesn't happen, or at least it's heavily frowned upon, in most of Corporate America. It's the kind of nonsense that hiring managers will tell you will get you blackballed from an industry.

Now fast forward to possibly having to sell the home you're buying in the future with inquisitive agents. People always want feedback to tweak their marketing as it may help increase their ROI. analyze the data is what it's all about.
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Old 10-07-2019, 04:01 PM
472 posts, read 290,785 times
Reputation: 934
My dad had a joke that if the U.S. had been serious about fighting the Vietnam war we would have drafted all the residential agents and dropped one in each Vietnamese village on the assumption that no one can more viciously defend a patch of territory. You kinda witnessed this first hand.
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Old 10-07-2019, 05:15 PM
252 posts, read 108,525 times
Reputation: 444
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
I have never asked any interviewer why I didn't get the job. I move on.
Agreed. You can't expect people to tell you their real thought process, since it could be hurtful. They're just going to tell you polite niceties-- "It was a difficult decision..." etc.
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Old 10-07-2019, 07:55 PM
29,742 posts, read 26,896,932 times
Reputation: 10496
I think it's a little off-putting to be asked, "Why didn't you pick me?"

That may be handy info from the agent's standpoint, but it can put the seller in an awkward position. Maybe he simply didn't feel comfortable with you, but that's a difficult thing to say to somebody. "To be honest, I just didn't like you that much."

Now if you get the job, I don't see anything wrong with asking what worked in your favor.

However, I believe the why-not-me thing is poor form. Ask yourself that question, but don't put the burden of figuring it out on someone else.
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