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Old 05-23-2008, 03:24 AM
 
Location: northern california
380 posts, read 2,114,726 times
Reputation: 147

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dixiegirl7 View Post
You are so right on target with this. First time buyers seem to be the worst with the indecisiveness, even when they are financially capable of buying. They just always think there will be a better house or a better deal out there.
Well, you'd be describing my husband and me. But I hope sellers are understanding of how hard it is for us to decide to buy something for hundreds of thousands of dollars after only a few visits? This really is the biggest purchase we'll ever make and we'll have to live with it, and in it, every single day for many years -- it's where all our hopes are dreams are centered and some of us are really paranoid about making a mistake. You sellers were all in this position once, remember?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobokenkitchen View Post
Many congratulations to the OP on your offer! Was it a 'good' offer? Acceptable or have you countered.

Please tell us how many times they came to your house - I'm dying to know! Lol.

Congrats again and I hope it all works out for you.
Yes, please update us -- and congrats! (See, some of us indecisive first-timers do eventually bite the bullet. )
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Old 05-23-2008, 03:31 AM
 
Location: northern california
380 posts, read 2,114,726 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5FLgirls View Post
I liked the original comment about test driving but when the response was about pointing everything wrong with and insulting the salesman -- that's an entirely different story. I have to give you a couple examples:

When we moved once, we house hunted for 9 months (and that was looking at a lot of houses), there was nothing on the market we loved and we were at the point where we needed to move. We kept coming back to this one house. Between my husband and myself, we looked at it 6 times over three months. The owner was very upset with us--to the point that she would sit in her neighbor's driveway and give us dirty looks while we took the 8 minutes to walk through the house. Our gut instinct was that this wasn't the house for us but we really needed to move. The day we finally decided to make an offer on this house we didn't love, another house went on the market, we looked at it once and made an offer the same day. I felt bad for the people whose house we kept looking at but I was kept trying to fit a circle into a square.
This is where we are too -- seeing houses we like but don't love and trying to fit that circle into a square. Fortunately for the sellers, the houses I keep revisiting are looked at again and again online only -- haven't been going back inside the house so they shouldn't hate me yet. Can you imagine how you would've felt if you bought the other house then saw your dream house come up the day after you closed? That's our nightmare, and a big source of this first-timer's indecisiveness. I know there's no perfect home, just wanting that perfect place for us. . .
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Old 05-23-2008, 06:08 AM
 
Location: Northern Nevada
8,545 posts, read 9,115,489 times
Reputation: 3059
Quote:
Originally Posted by christeen View Post
This is where we are too -- seeing houses we like but don't love and trying to fit that circle into a square. Fortunately for the sellers, the houses I keep revisiting are looked at again and again online only -- haven't been going back inside the house so they shouldn't hate me yet. Can you imagine how you would've felt if you bought the other house then saw your dream house come up the day after you closed? That's our nightmare, and a big source of this first-timer's indecisiveness. I know there's no perfect home, just wanting that perfect place for us. . .
Having been married and a homeowner for nearly all those 31 years, I can honestly say that you always have regrets. We have found that nothing is perfect, the perfect home is not there, but you need to listen to that gut feeling you get when you are inside the 'right' home. Nothing is forever, either. The market will bounce back, it always has, although the days of huge profits are gone.

Be sure to get a good feel for the neighborhoods you are looking at, too. The most 'perfect' house might have the most horrible neighbors. We stayed in our first home 18 years due to our neighbors. When we bought the home it had 1170 square feet. That was a mansion to me, we had been in a little place the first year we were married..Wow! 10 years and 2 sons later, we added on 450 square foot family room, that kept us going almost 10 more years. We ended up moving on due to the change in the neighborhood, not for the best. The 2nd home we bought was more upscale and at the time it was a financial stretch. We had a lot of work to do, plaster, paint, flooring but we tackled it little by little. By then the sons had grown, hubby retired and we sold it. Bought that home too with that 'gut' feeling it was the right one.

It's a tough call...and in this market, once we sell, I will be careful with the next move since it will be ou last, at least for many years as we are not spring chickens anymore and its just too hard on us..But I am going for that 'gut' feeling again. It has not let me down in all these years.

And remember, the home you buy is to LIVE in. I wish everyone would remember that, we never bought a home with the idea of flipping it in a couple years and making a ton of dough. We bought a 'home'.

Just a few thoughts from an extremely experienced seller and buyer...
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Old 05-23-2008, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Chaos Central
1,122 posts, read 3,608,293 times
Reputation: 893
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogmom View Post
We have found that nothing is perfect, the perfect home is not there, but you need to listen to that gut feeling you get when you are inside the 'right' home.
It's a tough call...and in this market, once we sell, I will be careful with the next move since it will be ou last, at least for many years as we are not spring chickens anymore and its just too hard on us..But I am going for that 'gut' feeling again. It has not let me down in all these years.
I once found the perfect home (my thing is gardening) and was extremely happy there, but sadly we had to sell due to relocation. I still think about that place with a heavy heart, and househunting now in my present location, there is nothing that comes close that isn't about 200Gs above my budget But I agree with Dogmom, it's all about the "gut" feeling. When you think you "have to" make a choice between houses and none of them are giving you that "I've just gotta live there!" feeling, well, you're not there yet. I've had to buy houses like that and yeah, it's OK, you can still have some good times there, but.....I want that "home" feeling from the moment I lay eyes on it, just like I did my favorite place.

But I can tell from a drive-by and 1 showing. I don't need 5
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Old 05-23-2008, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Kauai
649 posts, read 3,136,631 times
Reputation: 464
Quote:
Originally Posted by christeen View Post
Can you imagine how you would've felt if you bought the other house then saw your dream house come up the day after you closed? That's our nightmare, and a big source of this first-timer's indecisiveness. I know there's no perfect home, just wanting that perfect place for us. . .
That sort of happened to us, we closed (this past March) on a house and then (stupid me!) I went back to the listings online, just to see what was happening in the market. Actually, I must admit, I was looking to see if, and how much, prices were still coming down. Well, much to my chagrin, a house about 3 houses away from the one we just bought had just been listed, at a slightly lower price, and it looked like a better fit for us! Ugh!!! I just have to keep telling myself that I haven't actually SEEN the other house, maybe it wouldn't have been right at all, we looked at a lot of houses before buying that looked great online but just didn't work 'in the flesh'. Still, I've learned my lesson about looking at listings AFTER signing on the dotted line!
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Old 05-23-2008, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Northern Nevada
8,545 posts, read 9,115,489 times
Reputation: 3059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbeet View Post
That sort of happened to us, we closed (this past March) on a house and then (stupid me!) I went back to the listings online, just to see what was happening in the market. Actually, I must admit, I was looking to see if, and how much, prices were still coming down. Well, much to my chagrin, a house about 3 houses away from the one we just bought had just been listed, at a slightly lower price, and it looked like a better fit for us! Ugh!!! I just have to keep telling myself that I haven't actually SEEN the other house, maybe it wouldn't have been right at all, we looked at a lot of houses before buying that looked great online but just didn't work 'in the flesh'. Still, I've learned my lesson about looking at listings AFTER signing on the dotted line!
Oh, that will just make you crazy...I imagine your new home is great, learn to love it, and don't look at any more listings! Not in this market anyway! Good luck!
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Old 05-23-2008, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,164 posts, read 57,274,608 times
Reputation: 52030
Quote:
Originally Posted by dixiegirl7 View Post
First time buyers seem to be the worst with the indecisiveness, even when they are financially capable of buying. They just always think there will be a better house or a better deal out there.
I don't agree. The first time you buy a house, the commitment and what-ifs are overwhelming: Do I really love this house? Will I be able to afford it? Will I be able to keep it up? How will I find a plumber that won't rip me off?

Etc.

Better be indecisive until you're sure you've found something you like than make a mistake. If you have to look at a house five or six times to be sure, so be it.
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Old 05-24-2008, 03:48 AM
 
Location: northern california
380 posts, read 2,114,726 times
Reputation: 147
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogmom View Post
Having been married and a homeowner for nearly all those 31 years, I can honestly say that you always have regrets. We have found that nothing is perfect, the perfect home is not there, but you need to listen to that gut feeling you get when you are inside the 'right' home. Nothing is forever, either. The market will bounce back, it always has, although the days of huge profits are gone.

Be sure to get a good feel for the neighborhoods you are looking at, too. The most 'perfect' house might have the most horrible neighbors. We stayed in our first home 18 years due to our neighbors. When we bought the home it had 1170 square feet. That was a mansion to me, we had been in a little place the first year we were married..Wow! 10 years and 2 sons later, we added on 450 square foot family room, that kept us going almost 10 more years. We ended up moving on due to the change in the neighborhood, not for the best. The 2nd home we bought was more upscale and at the time it was a financial stretch. We had a lot of work to do, plaster, paint, flooring but we tackled it little by little. By then the sons had grown, hubby retired and we sold it. Bought that home too with that 'gut' feeling it was the right one.

It's a tough call...and in this market, once we sell, I will be careful with the next move since it will be ou last, at least for many years as we are not spring chickens anymore and its just too hard on us..But I am going for that 'gut' feeling again. It has not let me down in all these years.

And remember, the home you buy is to LIVE in. I wish everyone would remember that, we never bought a home with the idea of flipping it in a couple years and making a ton of dough. We bought a 'home'.

Just a few thoughts from an extremely experienced seller and buyer...
Thanks for the guidance. It's hard to know when we've found the right house for us because so much of what we want is still unaffordable (the area we're looking at isn't seeing that much decline). It's frustrating seeing so many wonderful homes that are still out of $$ reach, so we try to concentrate on the bones of the house so we can find something affordable that we can "perfect" ourselves over the years. Our top priorities are good neighborhood/street, schools, good size kitchen/family room, and layout/flow.

Fortunately, my husband and I are having the same "gut" reactions to homes. Which is good because then I can blame his gut if we end up in the wrong home.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbeet View Post
That sort of happened to us, we closed (this past March) on a house and then (stupid me!) I went back to the listings online, just to see what was happening in the market. Actually, I must admit, I was looking to see if, and how much, prices were still coming down. Well, much to my chagrin, a house about 3 houses away from the one we just bought had just been listed, at a slightly lower price, and it looked like a better fit for us! Ugh!!! I just have to keep telling myself that I haven't actually SEEN the other house, maybe it wouldn't have been right at all, we looked at a lot of houses before buying that looked great online but just didn't work 'in the flesh'. Still, I've learned my lesson about looking at listings AFTER signing on the dotted line!
Noooo! Don't tell me this happens! You did not see a better home. There are things wrong w/ that other house that would not make it right. We also have seen several homes that look perfect online but don't feel right inside. That is what you're seeing -- it's just an ILLUSION of something better.

I've already told our agent his biggest job will come after we close -- he'll have to tell me everything wrong with any home that comes up afterwards that I might use to second guess myself.
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Old 05-24-2008, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Central Texas
19,879 posts, read 36,379,125 times
Reputation: 21298
To the poster upthread who posted that there should be continuing education courses in how to deal with "difficult" people, my broker has courses something like that - they're courses in how to identify what kind of person a person is based on their primary motivator(s). There's the "cut to the chase" person who doesn't want all the facts, they just want the bottom line derived FROM the facts. There's the social person who will want to talk and talk and talk and will make decisions on a house based on that kind of personality. There's the person who wants every single tiny fact before making a decision (this could be the person who keeps coming back to see the house over and over again, because they're not comfortable making a decision until they know everything anyone could possibly know - this is the kind of person that will respond positively to a floor plan and the last 12 months' of utility bills and measurements and will still need to check things out for themselves repeatedly). And so on and so forth. It helps to know that there are patterns and that most folks react consistently (though most folks are also a mix of the above types and more) - that helps in dealing with them and not taking it personally or getting frustrated. It also helps their agent in helping them not alienate a seller by driving said seller crazy sometimes!

I've found over time that I can show several houses to a client (my record is 37 properties in 5 counties in 3-1/2 days, but that was a very special situation) and they'll like this one and think about making an offer on that one, but that I'll know which one it will be as soon as we walk in the front door, because of the "zing" that I detect from the client at that point. It's sort of odd, but it's pretty consistent, if the house is at all consistent with their needs and wants (and if I chose it to show them, it will be). At that point, while we may move on and look at the rest of the houses on our list, I'm pretty confident which one they'll be making the offer on. We may go back once to take a final look to get details and look at it not in the flush of "love at first sight" and perhaps show the spouse or the mother or the kids.
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Old 05-24-2008, 12:55 PM
 
8,758 posts, read 8,633,533 times
Reputation: 1422
Quote:
Originally Posted by christeen View Post
Well, you'd be describing my husband and me. But I hope sellers are understanding of how hard it is for us to decide to buy something for hundreds of thousands of dollars after only a few visits? This really is the biggest purchase we'll ever make and we'll have to live with it, and in it, every single day for many years -- it's where all our hopes are dreams are centered and some of us are really paranoid about making a mistake. You sellers were all in this position once, remember?




Yes, please update us -- and congrats! (See, some of us indecisive first-timers do eventually bite the bullet. )

I was speaking from a realtor's perspective, not a seller's. I do understand the huge commitment and try to be patient during a first time buyer's process and not all first time buyers are so indecisive. I just came from a really bad experience with some first time home buyers, so that might be coloring my viewpoint right now...lol.
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