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I used to be the type of person who always could forgive & forget instantly.
In recent years, I had a major (huge) incident happen that almost destroyed me.
I have yet to come to the place of forgiveness and wonder if I ever will. Anyone else feel the same way?
My girls dad did me really wrong..I learned to forgive him, but had him realize just because I forgive him doesnt mean I will ever be with him again.
You need to forgive for yourself, its not the same as forgetting it. But not allowing yourself to get hurt by that individual again.
I have the forgive but dont forget mentallity
Let your hurt forgive so you can let go of it..
Good luck
Despite how we're taught to approach it, forgiveness really isn't about the person who has wronged us. Forgiving them isn't about saying to THEM "I forgive you." And it certainly isn't about forgetting, or keeping someone in your life who you now have a reasonable expectation that they will be harmful or toxic to your life.
Forgiveness is something you practice for yourself. For your own peace of mind. For your own peace of spirit.
As long as we fail to forgive, we give the other person (and/or the event) more power over us than they deserve. In most cases where someone has done something that would even require forgiveness, they are not dwelling over the event. They are probably not feeling remorse, or even thinking about the event, or us, at all. They have usually moved on completely.
We're the ones suffering with it... and we will continue to suffer with it until we forgive.
I'm certainly not perfect at this, not by any stretch... but understanding that I am allowing them/the event to have power over me, helps me to let go of it and move on. Withholding my forgiveness doesn't hurt them at all, it doesn't even affect them... but it certainly impacts me, and I'd really rather not continue to let someone/something have a negative impact on my life long after the offending experience is past.
I only forgive sometimes and it depends on what the offense was. What I find myself is getting irritated if a person were to apologize and expect me to simply forget it when all it goes is further infuriates me. I decide when to take someone's apology. If I don't like you then no matter how much you say sorry, it's still not good enough.
Off course, I have to be careful if it's family members or my SO.... and not let anger get into my system but I'm finding it harder to just forgive and forget as if nothing happened.
I used to be way more forgiving years ago... ain't happening now.
Forgiveness is something you practice for yourself. For your own peace of mind. For your own peace of spirit.
This is my very point about misconceptions. Just because I don't forgive someone doesn't mean I am not at peace. I'm not angry, I'm not dwelling on it... I've just decided "you're not worth forgiving" and moved on. People keep saying how forgiveness isn't easy so in my opinion, why would I waste effort on someone by trying to forgive them?
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As long as we fail to forgive, we give the other person (and/or the event) more power over us than they deserve.
I thought you said it wasn't about the other person?
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In most cases where someone has done something that would even require forgiveness, they are not dwelling over the event. They are probably not feeling remorse, or even thinking about the event, or us, at all. They have usually moved on completely.
Not necessarily. But again, you say it's not about the other person. And again, not forgiving someone doesn't mean you dwell on it or can't move on. And yet again, if the other person is not dwelling on it, why should I dwell on trying to forgive them?
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We're the ones suffering with it... and we will continue to suffer with it until we forgive.
Nope, I'm not suffering at all.
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Food For Thought
