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Old 06-11-2010, 08:06 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,272,023 times
Reputation: 2098

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After a year of dating online, being tortured by the small handful of women I was actually interested in for about a week or two before receiving the long waited (and by then well desired) rejection.

It's not the rejection I fear. Sure, getting turned down by someone you like always stings a little bit, but I feel the actual words from someone rejecting you is like a bullet to your brain to finally end the misery: sure it will hurt for a brief moment but you'll be in a better place soon enough. This girl won't pull the trigger. This is the 4th girl to tease me with it, and she's taking the longest to do it, I've given her every opportunity to do it yet she won't, and I've realized she probably never will.

At least the first two girls called me on the phone to tell me. Sure, they waited a week or so to leave me hanging in the balance, but their bullets were quick, deep, effective. Easy to move on. 3rd girl that did this to me I felt like deserved little respect because she did it over a text msg. I didn't see it coming, but I could smell a scent of it before it came. Only now with this 4th girl that I would WELCOME a text rejection. Makes me feel like giving the 3rd girl a little more of a break than I had previously, as the 4th doesn't have an ounce of respect or courtesy. She's by far the worst because her last words to me were that she would let me take her out again. I can sit here and ask why but it won't get me anywhere, I've been down that road.

The answer to this is that I can't take a girl #5. I have a first meet/date lined up for Sunday that I'm going to cancel. I can't be unfair and see someone new when I've lost my desire and effort for this. The posibility that she could be a great girl that I like and end up seeing seriously doesn't hold enough weight to counter the fact she could be just as torturing, if not worse than the last (as the trend seems to be getting worse). I don't have any confidence in women right now to show respect or courtesy. A woman says she knows what she wants I laugh, she says she expects honesty I want to puke.

I won't subject myself to a 5th torture, the benefit doesn't outweigh the risk. I feel like I gave this a fair shot, I put forth a valid effort. I know I'm a great guy and I have a lot to offer in a relationship, and I don't doubt I could make someone very happy someday, it just won't be anytime soon. The standard has been shown to me that this is the way people are, and I am alone in my beliefs for expecting small amounts of respect. One occurrence is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, third time is just bad luck, four times means this is just how it is, and I hate it, it disgusts me, I never want to go on another date again.

I've got so many other things I've done so well at in recent months that I can't let something like dating stand in the way of, and it's threatening my overall attitude. I've started working out more, I've lost 15 lbs, I'm playing sports again, I'm moving in with some fun people/friends, and I'm signed up for guitar lessons again. I can't let these women continue to jeopardize that with their torture and bullsht. I'm clearly not meant for this, I believe in going after what you want in life, but it's been shown to me that dating, a relationship, a wife, a family....they are not part of my destiny.

I had to get this out there. I know I said I'd be done after the last one but I'm ending it now to make sure this doesn't continue. I can't deal with it, the indecency is too disgusting to bear anymore. I guess I'm just not strong enough for this.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:16 AM
 
Location: Outside always.
1,517 posts, read 1,978,163 times
Reputation: 1563
Hi,

I am just wondering how old you are?
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:18 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,272,023 times
Reputation: 2098
Quote:
Originally Posted by smel View Post
hi,

i am just wondering how old you are?
27
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,310,607 times
Reputation: 9335
People don't want to consider or believe this--maybe it sounds too easy or something, I dunno--but you can't imagine what a positive attitude does for you in every aspect of your life. It's literally life-changing. It takes a great deal of self-discipline. Maybe that's why it's so scoffed at. I highly recommend it. Good luck with #5. And 6. And 7. Treat them all as a great adventure and you'll get something worthwhile out of each experience.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:29 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
6,772 posts, read 11,582,673 times
Reputation: 6501
NOT being snarky, but I think you quit therapy waaaaaaay too soon.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:30 AM
 
2,618 posts, read 5,272,023 times
Reputation: 2098
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophialee View Post
NOT being snarky, but I think you quit therapy waaaaaaay too soon.
Didn't quit. I've gone every week for a month and a half.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:33 AM
 
Location: the good ol' USA where freedom rings
213 posts, read 360,701 times
Reputation: 275
Dude, you're just hitting a rough patch. Things will be better in a few months after you forgotten the sting of dates not working out. Hope springs eternal.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:34 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,506 posts, read 17,310,607 times
Reputation: 9335
I'd just like to add that I think all the experiences prior to meeting the right one are there to prepare you for that relationship so learn as much as you can from them. The sooner you 'get it' the sooner you can achieve the lasting one. I think this applies to all aspects of life, not just relationships. It's like reincarnation in one life--relive it til you get it right.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:34 AM
 
9,816 posts, read 19,017,909 times
Reputation: 7537
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
I've got so many other things I've done so well at in recent months that I can't let something like dating stand in the way of, and it's threatening my overall attitude. I've started working out more, I've lost 15 lbs, I'm playing sports again, I'm moving in with some fun people/friends, and I'm signed up for guitar lessons again. I can't let these women continue to jeopardize that with their torture and bullsht. I'm clearly not meant for this, I believe in going after what you want in life, but it's been shown to me that dating, a relationship, a wife, a family....they are not part of my destiny.

I had to get this out there. I know I said I'd be done after the last one but I'm ending it now to make sure this doesn't continue. I can't deal with it, the indecency is too disgusting to bear anymore. I guess I'm just not strong enough for this.
Why do you keep banging your head on the wall doing the same things?

When you reach the bottom of the barrel find another barrel.

It's not so bad. You could end up like this fat bastard working 2 jobs so his demon lazy wife can have a McMansion with granite countertops.


YouTube - Suzanne Researched This Commercial
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:36 AM
 
9,816 posts, read 19,017,909 times
Reputation: 7537
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
People don't want to consider or believe this--maybe it sounds too easy or something, I dunno--but you can't imagine what a positive attitude does for you in every aspect of your life. It's literally life-changing. It takes a great deal of self-discipline. Maybe that's why it's so scoffed at. I highly recommend it. Good luck with #5. And 6. And 7. Treat them all as a great adventure and you'll get something worthwhile out of each experience.
It is amazing when you constantly put positive thoughts and vibes out there of what can happen.

Dr. Wayne Dyer is a good start.
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