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Old 06-13-2010, 01:43 PM
 
Location: In my skin
8,032 posts, read 8,789,717 times
Reputation: 7871
Default When your hubby/boyfriend expresses interest in the group thing

I was out for a bit with a few friends for a birthday gathering at a local watering hole this weekend. There was a group at the tables next to us having an interesting discussion while the band was on a break, so we could hear a lot of what they were saying.

It sounded like they were talking about a particular couple who are into the threesome thing (the woman is bi). And a couple of the guys, who where there with their SO's, made comments about how jealous they were, how "George" was their hero and other similar comments. One woman was so upset she got up and walked off. Her guy called her a drama queen. Those of us who heard it were in agreement that it was rude.

It really made me appreciate my guy. I told him about it during our phone call afterwards. We've already covered that topic and it's not so much a problem in wanting it; we all have our fantasies, as bland or wild as they may be. But going out of your way to verbalize such a desire to be with another woman is just so incredibly disrespectful, especially in front of other people.

Thoughts?
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Old 06-13-2010, 01:48 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,458 posts, read 3,480,642 times
Reputation: 2707
Pretty effing effed up!!!
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Old 06-13-2010, 02:31 PM
 
Location: California
147 posts, read 136,898 times
Reputation: 114
Most fantasies are more fun to think about then actually act out! I would rather my boyfriend tell me that he only has eyes for me then say how lucky Joe Shmo is because he gets laid by more than one woman at once! That's for sure!
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Old 06-13-2010, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque
256 posts, read 230,898 times
Reputation: 250
Its perfectly fine to have fantasies/desires, and no one should be able to ridicule you or deny you that right. But at the same time, no one should be made to feel like a "drama queen" or a whiner because they don't want their significant other expressing how desperate they are to sleep with another partner, so much so that it makes them jealous of people who have threesomes.
My goodness, almost every guy I know has or has had fantasies of a threesome, even mine, and this is acceptable to me, but he would NEVER desperately express that desire in public and then ridicule me for being upset about it. Have some respect.
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Old 06-13-2010, 03:31 PM
 
20,701 posts, read 16,053,206 times
Reputation: 8251
Hubby said that was what he wanted for his birthday.

So, I pointed out a NICE looking young female in a local store.

I went to talk to her about it....he ran to the car.

I never did tell him that was a friend's little sister.
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Old 06-13-2010, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,531,379 times
Reputation: 9094
If a guy did that to me in front of anyone--anyone at all--I'd cut him loose. I don't have patience for such crap. If he'd talked to me about it in private I'd tell him under no circumstances, no. If you want to, go ahead but let me know so I can be gone. You don't need me. But I wouldn't wig out on him if he was honest about it in private. I'd just make sure he knew I can't live with that.
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Old 06-13-2010, 05:46 PM
 
2,133 posts, read 3,696,898 times
Reputation: 1365
Fortunately, DH would never be so disrespectul to me.

It's one thing to chat about it privately at home, quite another to discuss it in front of a group.
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Old 06-13-2010, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Houston
302 posts, read 494,226 times
Reputation: 361
I think it depends on the guy. If my BF said that, I would take it for what it was....him saying how incredibly hot it would be for me and another woman to be with him. I don't take it as he is sick of sex with me, or he likes other women better, or he's going to cheat on me...it is what it is. Me + other sexy woman = super hot. I'm not threatened by it, nor do I think it is disrespectful. It sounds like the guys at the next table weren't saying they ACTUALLY want it. That's what fantasies are. Fun, hot to think about, but not that they are making real attempts for it to happen.

But, if I was dating a guy who I didn't have that same sense of comfort with, I probably would be a little miffed by it. Especially if we were not in a committed relationship; it might make me question a thing or two. But would I storm away from a table? No.
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Middle America
17,193 posts, read 14,067,394 times
Reputation: 19924
It's disrespectful, particular if you know your partner isn't into it, and you publicly mock her for it.
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Old 06-13-2010, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,063 posts, read 11,248,915 times
Reputation: 3536
Not only is that disrespectful in public but if a man I was dating expressed interest in that in private, I'd be very wary. A glance at online personal ads and Craig's List reveals many people trolling for such experiences -- with AND without their SO's knowledge, it seems.
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