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Yes but at some point someone has to take the risk of being rejected and that won't be me. I'll leave that to the guy as he can ask the next girl and finally get a yes.
I wouldn't be able to proceed from guy to guy until one says yes.
I think facing rejection is the main worry among most women.But as some of the other posters said its not the 50's anymore and part of equality of women is taking the bad with the good as in more rejection.The stupid part of the example I gave is that if either of us had asked we would both have said hell yah and might still be together today.Oh well,whats the phrase I'm looking for, "ships that pass in the night".
I think facing rejection is the main worry among most women.But as some of the other posters said its not the 50's anymore and part of equality of women is taking the bad with the good as in more rejection.The stupid part of the example I gave is that if either of us had asked we would both have said hell yah and might still be together today.Oh well,whats the phrase I'm looking for, "ships that pass in the night".
I think many women sell themselves short. If you ask two or three at the most guys, one will say yes. We might have to ask ten or more to get the same result.
The condensed version (with lots of generalization and simplification): social custom established around the facts of evolutionary biology dictates that men make the first move. Men are biologically programmed to spread their seed, women are predisposed to be choosy in selecting a mate. Consequently (generally speaking), men are expected to take the initiative in pursuing a relationship with a woman. There are exceptions, of course, but the bottom line is that men are usually expected to take the first step and (again, speaking very generally) women often like it for the man to take the lead.
Couldn't have said it any better myself. I will add though that many men feel weird when a woman makes the first move. For some it can be emasculating, and from my experience the women who do make the first move are way more slutty than those who don't. It's hard to explain why, but I guess the best way of putting it is they basically tip their hand and it spoils things from the get go. If they chase they then get laid more since they'll in theory be having more relationships and therefore sex. Goes back to the notion that women can have sex with a lot of men far more easily than the reverse.
Look, here's how I see it...if I know a guy and have spent time with him and he hasn't asked me out, then he doesn't want to go out with me.
So that's probably why more women don't ask men out. They figure if the guy wanted to go out, he would have asked. I have had encountered very few men too shy to let me know pretty obviously that they want to go out.
Couldn't have said it any better myself. I will add though that many men feel weird when a woman makes the first move. For some it can be emasculating, and from my experience the women who do make the first move are way more slutty than those who don't. It's hard to explain why, but I guess the best way of putting it is they basically tip their hand and it spoils things from the get go. If they chase they then get laid more since they'll in theory be having more relationships and therefore sex. Goes back to the notion that women can have sex with a lot of men far more easily than the reverse.
The only problem is the statement you quote is wrong. As for being emasculated because the woman makes the first move, what kind of game playing wuss would that be? Key to that is to call the women who play different "slutty". Sounds like someone that prefers the thrill of the hunt. I think most people feel awkward about opening themselves up, man or woman.
To those women that say the guy must not be interested enough if they do not ask you. It makes you sound as if you feel entitled. One must prostrate themselves before the Queen in order to get her favor. Get over yourself. You are fortunate to have the option rather than your parents arranging your marriage. Being equal means neither side has a monopoly on the courting dance. (Shakespeare has a lot to blame in regards to our modern day foolishness of dating).
I think many women sell themselves short. If you ask two or three at the most guys, one will say yes. We might have to ask ten or more to get the same result.
The condensed version (with lots of generalization and simplification): social custom established around the facts of evolutionary biology dictates that men make the first move. Men are biologically programmed to spread their seed, women are predisposed to be choosy in selecting a mate. Consequently (generally speaking), men are expected to take the initiative in pursuing a relationship with a woman. There are exceptions, of course, but the bottom line is that men are usually expected to take the first step and (again, speaking very generally) women often like it for the man to take the lead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
Couldn't have said it any better myself. I will add though that many men feel weird when a woman makes the first move. For some it can be emasculating, and from my experience the women who do make the first move are way more slutty than those who don't. It's hard to explain why, but I guess the best way of putting it is they basically tip their hand and it spoils things from the get go. If they chase they then get laid more since they'll in theory be having more relationships and therefore sex. Goes back to the notion that women can have sex with a lot of men far more easily than the reverse.
Or they're perceived as more slutty. Last year I made a first move and invited a man out and he came right out and said on the date that he only wanted sex and that he assumed that's what he was going to get since I asked him. Needless to say, he didn't get any from me, and I've been a lot more reticent about asking men out. I love what you said about tipping your hand--it just seems to throw everything off so I won't be doing it again. Not unless I just want sex but that's never been the case.
Because they know that most men like to chase and will be less interested in a girl who asks than a girl he has to chase a little.
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