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Old 06-18-2010, 02:14 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,254 times
Reputation: 10
Default Want to move on

Hello everyone. First post ever. I am 33 yrs old and engaged. I have been dating my fiance for three years now. When we first started dating, she came forward with information on her past relationships. She is 30 years old. I did not really want to hear about her past, but the more she said the more I wanted to know. She told me that her last relationship lasted about a year and a half. She said that she had never spent any nights away from her mom's house and over at her ex-boyfriend's house but I just found-out that in fact she did. I asked her about it and she said that she did it because she was helping him out. Apparently he had surgery done and could not do things for himself. I would understand helping out during the day but was staying overnight necessary?
I have been dwelling on her past for the last week and I need some advice. I definetly love her but I often bring up her past relationships and that is really ruining ours.
I must admit that I feel a bit jealous and I wish that we had met when we were younger. I had been engaged to another person before but that did not work since that girl cheated on me.
My fiancee now, deals with my past relationship very well but I do not seem to do the same when it comes to her past.
My fiancee is great and I do love her but my jealousy is getting in the way.
Am I blowing things out of proportion?
What can I do?
I need help.

Thank you all.
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:18 PM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,684 posts, read 2,171,417 times
Reputation: 3176
Wait, I am a little confused.

She spent time at her ( now ex ) boyfriend's house when you two were already dating? Or was it before?
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:21 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,229,885 times
Reputation: 9079
A person's past is theirs and unless it involves harming others, it's none of yours. I don't mean yours, per se, but in general--yours and mine. Don't go and throw it all away because she had a life before you--not if you want to remain with her. You'll regret it.
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:23 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,254 times
Reputation: 10
She has not spent time with him now. This was before me.
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,451,067 times
Reputation: 22719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
Don't go and throw it all away because she had a life before you--not if you want to remain with her.
Well, with this attitude he can't remain with ANYBODY, unless he starts raiding grade schools... or junior highs at best!
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,318 posts, read 13,673,451 times
Reputation: 21558
Am I understanding this right? You two have been dating for 3 years now, and you are still going on about her past?

Everyone has a past. If you don`t get over this silly jealousy act, and yes, I think that you are blowing this out of proportion, you will find yourself alone. Let it go!
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,229,885 times
Reputation: 9079
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, with this attitude he can't remain with ANYBODY, unless he starts raiding grade schools... or junior highs at best!
Why? The attitude is everyone has had a life before their s/o, why pretend they didn't? If you don't want to know, adopt the don't ask, don't tell policy. I know my guy has a past but it doesn't have anything to do with me so why should I try to make it? That's not healthy.
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,451,067 times
Reputation: 22719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
Why? The attitude is everyone has had a life before their s/o, why pretend they didn't? If you don't want to know, adopt the don't ask, don't tell policy. I know my guy has a past but it doesn't have anything to do with me so why should I try to make it? That's not healthy.
I thought that's what I was saying...
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
12,429 posts, read 9,460,369 times
Reputation: 18819
And it's not like she said anything remotely like TMI. She confessed to staying at his house after he had surgery to help him out.
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Old 06-18-2010, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,229,885 times
Reputation: 9079
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I thought that's what I was saying...
LOL I couldn't find the discrepancy. I was trying to figure out whose attitude you meant.
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