U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:14 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,324 times
Reputation: 10

Advertisements

Hello everyone. First post ever. I am 33 yrs old and engaged. I have been dating my fiance for three years now. When we first started dating, she came forward with information on her past relationships. She is 30 years old. I did not really want to hear about her past, but the more she said the more I wanted to know. She told me that her last relationship lasted about a year and a half. She said that she had never spent any nights away from her mom's house and over at her ex-boyfriend's house but I just found-out that in fact she did. I asked her about it and she said that she did it because she was helping him out. Apparently he had surgery done and could not do things for himself. I would understand helping out during the day but was staying overnight necessary?
I have been dwelling on her past for the last week and I need some advice. I definetly love her but I often bring up her past relationships and that is really ruining ours.
I must admit that I feel a bit jealous and I wish that we had met when we were younger. I had been engaged to another person before but that did not work since that girl cheated on me.
My fiancee now, deals with my past relationship very well but I do not seem to do the same when it comes to her past.
My fiancee is great and I do love her but my jealousy is getting in the way.
Am I blowing things out of proportion?
What can I do?
I need help.

Thank you all.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:18 PM
 
Location: New Hampshire
4,733 posts, read 2,492,173 times
Reputation: 3300
Wait, I am a little confused.

She spent time at her ( now ex ) boyfriend's house when you two were already dating? Or was it before?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,048,177 times
Reputation: 9109
A person's past is theirs and unless it involves harming others, it's none of yours. I don't mean yours, per se, but in general--yours and mine. Don't go and throw it all away because she had a life before you--not if you want to remain with her. You'll regret it.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:23 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,324 times
Reputation: 10
She has not spent time with him now. This was before me.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 54,877,880 times
Reputation: 22812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
Don't go and throw it all away because she had a life before you--not if you want to remain with her.
Well, with this attitude he can't remain with ANYBODY, unless he starts raiding grade schools... or junior highs at best!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,410 posts, read 14,718,153 times
Reputation: 21852
Am I understanding this right? You two have been dating for 3 years now, and you are still going on about her past?

Everyone has a past. If you don`t get over this silly jealousy act, and yes, I think that you are blowing this out of proportion, you will find yourself alone. Let it go!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,048,177 times
Reputation: 9109
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Well, with this attitude he can't remain with ANYBODY, unless he starts raiding grade schools... or junior highs at best!
Why? The attitude is everyone has had a life before their s/o, why pretend they didn't? If you don't want to know, adopt the don't ask, don't tell policy. I know my guy has a past but it doesn't have anything to do with me so why should I try to make it? That's not healthy.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,843 posts, read 54,877,880 times
Reputation: 22812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
Why? The attitude is everyone has had a life before their s/o, why pretend they didn't? If you don't want to know, adopt the don't ask, don't tell policy. I know my guy has a past but it doesn't have anything to do with me so why should I try to make it? That's not healthy.
I thought that's what I was saying...
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
13,225 posts, read 10,877,922 times
Reputation: 20481
And it's not like she said anything remotely like TMI. She confessed to staying at his house after he had surgery to help him out.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-18-2010, 03:33 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,510 posts, read 12,048,177 times
Reputation: 9109
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I thought that's what I was saying...
LOL I couldn't find the discrepancy. I was trying to figure out whose attitude you meant.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top