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Basicly you want a man thats crazy about you but you don't want a man that you are crazy about? I don't get it, why be with a man that you don't even like?
She sounds more interested in controlling the power dynamic then finding a fulfilling relationship.
She will wake up age 40, two kids, in a monotonous rut, completely unfulfilled.
I am crazy about my husband. He's the most extraordinary man I've ever met. I love him with all my heart.
MortimerC, I'm well past 40, my two kids are grown, and my life is as exciting and fulfilling as anyone could ever hope for. I have exactly the type of life I always wanted and we've both worked hard to get here. I am living my dream.
I am crazy about my husband. He's the most extraordinary man I've ever met. I love him with all my heart.
MortimerC, I'm well past 40, my two kids are grown, and my life is as exciting and fulfilling as anyone could ever hope for. I have exactly the type of life I always wanted and we've both worked hard to get here. I am living my dream.
Maybe you should try it sometime.
You sound like you're not a day over 25.
You shouldn't be posting in this thread if what you say is true. Obviously things are different for old people. I don't think you (or any woman over 40, not a personal attack) have enough experience in the modern dating world to speak on the subject.
Ok maybe I should expound a little.
You old folks created a system, it's a sexist system for sure, but it worked for you because both sexes did their part mostly. But now, the dynamic is changing.
It would be nice to sit here and say or ask why do women do this, blah, blah, blah. But I have been guilty of the same at probably a much higher rate. I agree though it is bull sh t. My guess would be that women and men do this out of ego and power. If you make the other person feel like they have to be the aggressor, because well your just so wonderful. There is a false sense of power there. Sometimes this can backfire, like many have said. I've definately done my share of playing games and have lost girls as a result. Plus, I was they type to be cool, but the minute you start playing games, I go beserko vindictive psycho on your as s. Women aren't the only ones to be vindictive. Although, I never met a kind scorned women. If a women ever so much as liked me and pursued me and if I by chance I wasn't at the time interested or happen to ignore them or had denied their advances. They never let me forget this. Wheather it was five or ten years later.
Case in point, I once had this really good looking girl pursue me for like six months. Never showed any interest. Of course my head was tweeking for some other girl. Long story short. She was one of those regrets. Saw her a few years later in a store. Got her number. I called twice. She never returned the call. Paybacks a b ch right? Still wasn't good enough. Saw her about five years after that in a bar. I went up to her and said hey how are you, do you remember me, we used to go to school together, blah, blah, blah? She tried acting like she didn't know who I was, and was kind of ignoring me. I walked away and heard her say out loud so that I could hear that there were no hot guys in here. Ouch, slam. Then some guy came in who was like a seven and she was saying out loud so I could here, he's hot. Which she was like a ten. I know she didn't think he was hot. I should of said, yeah, remember me Im the guy that you followed around like a little lap dog for six months, trying to date all semester long. But I am not that mean. I let her have her fun.
Talk about vindictive. A girlfriend once broke up with me. I guess she thought I was going to chase her. I left her alone for about two weeks. I tried once to get back with her, she convincingly told me why she wouldn't take me back. Ok, I left her alone. Figured it was what she wanted. Only to find out later that she had done something sexual with some other guy, all the while knowing that she still wanted to be with me. When I found out, I told her friend who was a female, that I would never touch her again. Even though technically we weren't together. But mentally there was still some very strong feelings. Then she starts calling me up ever day for months, even having her friend try to get us back together. But her friend was just trying to sleep with me herself. Long story short. I slept with her best friend, plus her other two friends. They were all trying to get with me on the sly. She found out about all of them. Sweet justice.
She still tried to get back with me. Would call and hang up for about three years. I would catch her drive by my house. I lived on a one way street.
Oh sweet justice. Point is, guys can be vindictive to. And have fun doing it.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 06-23-2010 at 05:19 PM..
I have a lot of dating experience in the "modern world". I dated all through my late 30s and 40s and dated online off and on. I had the pleasure of meeting all types of men. Most were very nice.
You're right about one thing though, I shouldn't be posting here. I stumbled here one night during a bout of insomnia and got sucked in. Now I am procrastinating when I should be working on an uninspiring task.
I have a lot of dating experience in the "modern world". I dated all through my late 30s and 40s and dated online off and on. I met all types of men.
You're right about one thing though, I shouldn't be posting here. I stumbled here one night during a bout of insomnia and got sucked in. Now I am procrastinating when I should be working on an uninspiring task.
Procrastination is a good thing.
I's different for an old person. Unless you were dating 20 year olds, I stand behind my statement. And If you were then you go girl!
The attitudes toward dating vary vastly between generations. I would expect 40 and 50 year olds to date in the method they were taught growing up, and it was a vastly different dynamic then.
My kids are in their 20s and they are finding their own way. I have a son and a daughter. They don't listen to me. LOL.
My son is a girl magnet. He has to fight them off with a stick. I don't think he's ever had to lift a finger in a relationship. He also never seems too excited about them. Sure, he likes them well enough. He dates them and enjoys their company but he hasn't yet met a woman that inspires him to be a better man. I think if he ever had to apply himself and actually chase a girl, it would be really good for him. His relationships might be more rewarding for him.
Anyway, I hope someday he is given the chance to show a girl what he's made of. As of yet, no girl has required it of him and that is a shame, if you ask me. For both of them.
My daughter ignores my dating advice also. She doesn't really chase guys but she does seem to be drawn to men that are perfectly fine letting her be the dominate one. She's a bit of a dynamo and is really bossy, in my opinion (I think bossing men around is a turn-off and an exercise in futility, myself, but to each their own!). So I guess it makes sense for her to be attracted to boys who don't mind being submissive and taking orders from her.
I am old-fashioned in my views but my relationship works, so I think I have the right to offer my point of view. My kids see things differently but their relationships aren't stable either. The jury is still out for them. If they can date "the modern way" and find happiness, I will be their biggest cheerleader.
My son was an excellent basketball player in highschool. His shooting percentage was remarkable and his free throw shot was a thing of beauty. Give him the ball, anywhere on the court, and chances are that he will make the clutch shot. Money in the bank.
But in the dating world, the girls never pass him the ball, so he never has the chance to show them his stuff. Or if they do, they make a shot and then pass the ball back to him in a way that says "So what? I can make my own baskets!" I don't see how that isn't frustrating for him!
If I were a man in his shoes I would be begging for the ball. I would be wildly waving my arms in the air and jumping up and down saying "Pass me the ball! Pass me the ball! I've got this!"
In much the same way, I think my husband enjoyed courting me and showing me what he's made of. I applauded his efforts, encouraged him, and eventually let him know that no other man could hold a candle to him. He ruined me for other men, that much is certain. Despite what you think, it wasn't out of a sense of entitlement or needing my ego stroked. If anything, his ego was stroked by my applause and my attention. I assure you that he was enjoying the game as much as I was.
That's why they call it the dating game. Because it's supposed to be fun!
Last edited by boodhabunny; 06-23-2010 at 05:52 PM..
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She doesn't really chase guys but she does seem to be drawn to men that are perfectly fine letting her be the dominate one. She's a bit of a dynamo and is really bossy, in my opinion (I think bossing men around is a turn-off and an exercise in futility, myself, but to each their own!). So I guess it makes sense for her to be attracted to boys who don't mind being submissive and taking orders from her.