Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There's a flip-side to that. I've had perfectly normal, pleasant conversations with men, and somehow they construed that to mean that I was interested in them. And just because I cracked a joke or laughed at one of theirs, that's no reason to think I'm "flirting."
Your right. Some guys just totally misinterpret a woman's friendliness with flirting or romantic interests. Some of them take it a step further and accuse the girl of leading them on. How ridiculous. I can understand men getting confused as to whether or not a woman is flirting out of interest or for other reasons but its sad when you cant distinguish flirting from friendly everyday conversation. I'll admit I have asked women out after friendly, flirt-less conversation (often times where I know I'll never see them again) but I wouldn't hold it against them if they declined.
Seriously. As WestCobb said, you're looking for answers that aren't there. As I've said, women's motivations and signals are going to be as unique as each woman, herself.
For you to find out, you have to take each person as an individual, and get to know her, one person at a time. Social interaction and forming relationships take finesse and time.
If that seems like too much effort or work for you, stay home.
So you admit that there are women who flirt without meaning anything by it? If so, I rest my case.
. What gives? Why would you pinch a guy's butt and ACT like you're interested--if you're not?
Some girls think it's fun. I don't condone it. Dating is hard enough without sending the man mixed signals. I find it very frustrating when a man does that with me.
Correction: society's rules, not nature's. Dating, courting, flirting, whatever you call it, is a social construction. In nature, where life would be nasty, brutish, short, there'd be no such game-playing conventions. But there might be butt sniffing like dogs do.
I think it's Nature, not Society. Flirting exists in the animal kingdom too ... males of many species are required to demonstrate their worthiness to females before mating -- in different ways. Singing a song and doing a cool dance, amassing a nice haul of food, or whatever. Flirting is just a way for a woman (and man) to see ... do I have a live one here? Worth a roll in the hay?
I'm married and have been with my wife since I was 14, so I didn't develop any cool moves to woo the ladies in my teens and 20s, but I have noticed that women show way more interest in me when I'm happy, stepping lively and feeling playful. They show ZERO interest in me on days when I'm walking around with my head down worried about meeting some deadline for work or feeling anxious for some other reason. Makes sense.
When I'm humming around handling my business, I feel in control .. a woman who sees me in this state is likely to think (consciously or unconsciously) this guy seems like he's got it under control .. life with him would be fun and easy. She'd be right to think this. When I'm walking aorund fretting about something, women who see me are likely to think (consciously or unconsciously), this guy looks like a putz: life with him would be like being a mamma to a overwhelmed little boy. They'd be right to think this too ... when the boss man is giving me grief or I'm sweating the bills or something, I want my mamma (my wife) to make it better.
As for the quote from Hobbes, I disagree. Look at the bonoboes (who along with chimps are our closest genetic cousins). Their lives don't seem nasty, brutish or short. They seem to be having some fun. I think history moves in cycles, and even 100,000 years ago, there were times when our species had fun.
So you admit that there are women who flirt without meaning anything by it? If so, I rest my case.
What "admit?" Did you not read my [URL="http://www.city-data.com/forum/14737114-post19.html"]first post in this thread[/URL], from back on June 23rd? I told you that I thought the woman who grabbed your butt was a tease, and that I don't have respect for that.
Look:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
Your answers here are going to be as different and varied as the people who provide them.
But--and there's always a but--the glaringly obvious thing to me is that the person who pinched your butt is a tease. I have no respect for that kind of thing, myself. Leading people on is a cheap way of getting attention with no regard to the person you're getting the attention from.
The rest I'm not qualified to answer. I don't flirt--it's not my style and hasn't been for about 15 years now--and any signals that I, personally, would send a man would be subtle. I don't do the proverbial brick-to-the-head thing. Either a guy is perceptive and in tune with body language and the undercurrent of a conversation or he's not, and there's either a spark or there's not.
What "admit?" Did you not read my first post in this thread, from back on June 23rd? I told you that I thought the woman who grabbed your butt was a tease, and that I don't have respect for that.
That means that in YOUR opinion, the woman is a tease. But if nothing was ever intended by it, there is no "teasing". That's why I asked--do women give signals that they don't intend to give. What's the difference?
The clearest signal is also the most direct--come out and just say what you mean. Problem solved. Tell the guy you find him interesting and would like to spend more time with him. No room for misinterpretation.
That means that in YOUR opinion, the woman is a tease. But if nothing was ever intended by it, there is no "teasing". That's why I asked--do women give signals that they don't intend to give. What's the difference?
The clearest signal is also the most direct--come out and just say what you mean. Problem solved. Tell the guy you find him interesting and would like to spend more time with him. No room for misinterpretation.
Okay, I'm one of the women you're looking for... a woman that apparently gives mixed signals and one that just flirts for fun. Why? Because it is FUN! But, I will also say, that the guys that I flirt with KNOW that I'm just having fun and they, in turn, flirt back with me for the FUN.
For instance, one of these guys one day took out a tape measure and measured an LCD monitor against another. He stated that they were both 15 inches. I said, "I could have told you that without using a tape measure. I'm pretty good at sizing things up." He smiled and said, "I'm sure you are!" LOL At the end of the day, he and I are just friends with a little sexual innuendo and a good laugh.
There is a guy in my life now that I flirt with and he flirts with me, but somehow the flirting is different between us and other guys that play with me in this fashion. I know the guy is interested in me and I like him, but we seem to be in this 'mating dance' that is what I describe as a complicated friendship. I don't think either one of us have decided exactly how we're supposed to fit into the others life just yet.
I have come straight out and told him, Yes, I like you, Yes, I'm attracted to you. He has told me that he adores me. He has said he wants a deeper connection and chemistry with me, but then I told him I didn't want to be emotionally attached to him (these comments weren't all in the same conversation). Bad move? Perhaps. Why would I say something like that? Because he says the above to me and then flips to "we're just friends and nothing more." So, you figure that one out because I don't get it!
In the meantime, I just keep on doing what I do... keeping it real.
I can't understand such things. I'm just an unemotional man.
I don't understand the concept of getting together just for sex, and being free to have sex with as many people as you want. I don't understand the promiscuous lifestyle.
I understand two people getting together to share an exclusive commitment to one another.
I can't understand such things. I'm just an unemotional man.
I don't understand the concept of getting together just for sex, and being free to have sex with as many people as you want. I don't understand the promiscuous lifestyle.
I understand two people getting together to share an exclusive commitment to one another.
umm... okay... how can you be an 'unemotional man' and yet say 'exclusive commitment'? That is an oxymoron, dear, because you'd have to be emotional to want an exclusive commitment.
BTW, just to clarify for you ... I'm not promiscuous, just a flirt!- and only a flirt with guys that I feel comfortable flirting with that understand it is just play. The guy that I do like, yes, I flirt with him. Now, on the other hand, yes, the guy that I like is promiscuous, which is probably why there is this 'complicated friendship' between us. We apparently want different things.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The guy that I do like, yes, I flirt with him. Now, on the other hand, yes, the guy that I like is promiscuous, which is probably why there is this 'complicated friendship' between us. We apparently want different things. 
