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Trust issues here, for many reasons. I hear it said a lot that people are generally good. But when you take into account that you stand a good chance of being raped, robbed or murdered for walking a block or two in the dark....breaking down on the side of the road and accepting help from a stranger...working alone in a convenience store...you have to wonder. I'm not quite as confident there as some.
I don't think your chances of being murdered or raped are all that high. In fact, I've made it 29 years without any of those things happening to me or anyone I know. I can count more good things that have happened to me as a result of other people's actions than bad things. It's all about perspective.
I'm generally not a risk taker, but I definitely think it's worth taking a chance for relationships.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jifwittle
I don't think your chances of being murdered or raped are all that high. In fact, I've made it 29 years without any of those things happening to me or anyone I know. I can count more good things that have happened to me as a result of other people's actions than bad things. It's all about perspective.
I'm generally not a risk taker, but I definitely think it's worth taking a chance for relationships.
Crime statistics would argue. All it takes is being in the wrong place at the wrong time one time. A little paranoia goes a long way.
the idea of my S/O cheating on me frightens the hell out of me, so much so that it makes me wary of pursuing relationships. how can you really be 100% sure that one night he/she's not gonna come home to you and admit that he/she's been sleeping with someone else and they're done with you? all that work you put into that relationship, down the drain in the course of a few sentences.
****ing depressing.
Well, I never worry about someone cheating on me.
Why? Because I have stopped caring about trying to control what other people do.
Worrying about it is not going to stop them from doing it. There is no point in worrying about how other people act.
You just be secure in yourself, try to make good choices in who you pick, and work your ass off in your relationship to be the best partner ever.
Being jealous, suspicious, and insecure is NOT a great way to keep from being cheated on. In fact, people create a self-fulfilling prophecy that way.
Don't spend your life worrying about what you can't control. Worry about what you can.
If for nothing else than the fact that I wouldn't be able to have sex with that person again without picturing them in my head, having sex with someone else.
So you are planning on marrying a virgin? Because likely that whoever you're with...someone else has hit that. Maybe several someones.
So you are planning on marrying a virgin? Because likely that whoever you're with...someone else has hit that. Maybe several someones.
I would only hope so. I appreciate Experienced people in all aspects of life. If I go to a surgeon do I want someone who is conducting theyre first operation, no way! Same thing applies to potential mates, give me experience of inexperience every time and I will be happy with my mate!
I am no advocate of cheating. Understand this first off.
But my question has to do with why cheating is considered the most unpardonable sin in a relationship.
When we marry, we also vow to honor, cherish, support, and respect. We vow to trust and offer back complete honesty. But people who fail to uphold those vows are not looked upon with as much disdain as those who break the vow to only have sexual relations with their spouse. Not only that, but cheating is often a concrete 'deal breaker,' while people have much more leeway with breaking the other vows.
I get that violating those first few vows often leads to cheating...or that cheating can represent the breaking of the other vows, but the breaking of any of the other vows alone is rarely enough to call off a relationship and is also rarely fodder for badmouthing the offender.
So tell me...why is sexual fidelity on the top of our list when there are so many other ways to betray a person and their trust?
sexual INfidelity is so bad because it encompasses ALL of the vows...it's something you could never do if indeed you love, honour, cherish, support, and respect your partner.
sexual INfidelity is so bad because it encompasses ALL of the vows...it's something you could never do if indeed you love, honour, cherish, support, and respect your partner.
Good point, but I'm not sure which Vows you would be talking about considering Ive heard many different vows at a weddings incuding Buhdist, Various Christian, Muslim, Hindu in addition to the seculare folks
sexual INfidelity is so bad because it encompasses ALL of the vows...it's something you could never do if indeed you love, honour, cherish, support, and respect your partner.
If you love, honor, cherish, support, and respect your partner, you wouldn't call them names, yell at them, lie to them, be snippy with them, etc, etc, etc...but people do that ALL THE TIME. And they don't just run off and get divorced.
I guarantee you, if anyone EVER called me a bad name, their ass would be tossed out of this house just as fast as if they had banged the whole football team.
If you love, honor, cherish, support, and respect your partner, you wouldn't call them names, yell at them, lie to them, be snippy with them, etc, etc, etc...but people do that ALL THE TIME. And they don't just run off and get divorced.
I guarantee you, if anyone EVER called me a bad name, their ass would be tossed out of this house just as fast as if they had banged the whole football team.
I don't think that's true for most people.
My old neighbor used to call his wife a Fat slob in front of everyone. She would respond with all sorts of rude comments saying he smelled bad and had a little you know what! They really didn't like each other at all. Fortunately, I moved. I don't have a clue as to why they stayed together, but I wouldn't be surprised if either one of them would have an affair.
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